Being the frontman for Disaster Area is a well-paying gig. It pays enough to buy entire star systems. Or, we assume, the most expensive new car ever built… at least here on Earth. This is the Bugatti La Voiture Noire. It costs $12.5 million before any taxes have been applied, and you can’t buy it even if you could afford to do so. That’s because Bugatti are building just one. And we’re going to pretend that it’s been prepared for Hotblack Desiato.

If Bugatti can build such a ridiculous machine, then we can apply delightfully insane stories around the car.

The goal of The Black Car is to exist as a modern link to Bugatti’s famed Type 57 SC Atlantic. Though we’ve come a far cry from the 200-horsepower supercharged straight eights of yore. This zarking frood you see above is powered by an 8.0-liter W16 engine that eats exhaust gas through a quartet of turbochargers. We’re dealing with around 1,500 horsepower on this re-bodied Chiron.

It’s an insane exercise in excess. But that works just fine for Bugatti. If they have a customer eager to part with literal truck loads of cash, why not build a one-off homage to an iconic bit of Bugatti history. And that bit of history is worth even more than its modern familial link. A Bugatti Type 57 SC is worth north of $40 million.

But all of this is a pittance for “the unnamed buyer” of the Bugatti black car. The automaker claims the person is a “Bugatti enthusiast”. We didn’t know that Hotblack has penchant for French hyper cars, but who else would commission such a wicked thing. Hopefully the exhaust has been modified to fit in with the lead of the loudest rock band ever to exist.

Bugatti should’ve taken the car a step further and simply named it the Hotblack. And then some might consider spending a year dead for tax purposes just to afford it.