Beautiful Mexico! Land of beaches, tiny shivering dogs in teacups, and horrific drug-related violence. It’s also where the VW Type 1 went to die, and where the full-size two door SUV lives an Elvis-in-Vegas afterlife among the agave and smog. You’ll be happy to know that it’s also the home of this particular fiberglass enchilada topped with a zesty sauce of license-built local production and garnished with a healthy dose of internet-scam potential. If that unmistakable fascia, almost totally obscured by comically stereotypical imagery, caused you to lurch towards the “buy it now” button like a habanero eater sprints for a cool glass of milk, then check yourself before you wreck yourself, holmes, and read on.


“Ah!” you exclaim, spilling some Corona on your sombrero. “That’s a Renault-Alpine A110, just like that Alex Kierstein always goes on and on about like they’re the best cars ever made!” Clearly that Mr. Kierstein is off his meds. It’s just a fancy R8, powered by a tiny Renault-Gordini inline four! It only won tons of rallies in the late 1970s because all the competitors felt sorry for it. You fail to understand why I get my piñata in a knot over the Berlinetta.
You don’t know the half of it, amigo. This isn’t even the A110 Berlinetta it appears to be, although if you know what an A110 is then the name “Dinalpin” should mean something to you. This is that. Which is to say, a fiberglass sports coupe built upon Renault engineering, and license-produced by Diesel Nacional of Mexico (DINA) in ciudad Hidalgo on an assembly line that was previously in business with Satan selling Dauphines to unsuspecting Mexicans producing several Renault models locally. Perhaps things were different then in the late ’60s, when Mexico was just a place to get a sunburn and some finger-lickin’-good heroin. Now the heroin comes with a side of beheading, and the only sunburn you get is from digging your own grave in the high desert. At least, that’s the perception nowdays, what with all the Fox News a-blarin’ and the tourism a-tankin’.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaDboRMB7xE[/youtube]
Well, you’re going to have to set your BS-dar on stun, because this here Dinalpine Berlinetta is in Saltillo, in Coahuila State in northeastern Mexico. Does that mean you’re going to end up on the wrong end of a La Familia Cartel semi-automatic? Or that your PayPal monies will have a permanent Acapulco vacation, leaving you high and dry? Dude, I have no idea. Maybe it’s the deal of the century! Maybe it’s a fiberglass riddle wrapped in a French enigma wrapped in a crispy taco shell. As those books that always ridiculed me for making the wrong decision promised, choose your own adventure!
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