Attention Midwest LeMons Participants – Guarenteed IOE Winna Available

None of these vans are for sale – It's an illustration just to refresh your memory


Oh My God…. That was the first thing out of my mouth when I saw this listing on Craigslist. This is one of those plastic GM Minivans from the late 90’s that has been modified… and it’s a perfect entry for a team looking to enter one of the 24-Hours-of-LeMons events. Wait… What?

Think of it, this is a GM Minivan that either had the 3.1L V-6, or the 3.8L Buick V-6, both of which are almost bullet-proof as far as being abused as still coming back for more abuse. The Transmission on the other-hand might need a little care as the lockup feature isn’t working (Though that may be a good thing). All you really need to do is construct a roll cage (much easier since there is no top), and do a little backyard engineering (something I still haven’t mastered by the way), and voila, you have a distinctive race car err van heap. If you can last more than 1/2 the race, it will be an instant IOE contender.

Isn't it a thing of beauty? No? Then it's perfect for LeMons…


According to the listing:

Up for sale is the best One-off custom Van ever. Its a 1995 Chevrolet Lumina Van that some friends and I converted into a 6-passenger convertible cruiser. It has a V6 and automatic transmission. It is street legal and has a current Mo state inspection. The V6 has high miles but runs strong and starts every time. The auto transmission shifts well although the torque converter doesn’t lock up. This in no way effects the driving and the van cruises great at 70 mph. This van is a real crowd pleaser and gets looks and questions everywhere you go. The best part is that, unlike a regular convertible, all of your friends can ride along! All four rear seats are individually removable and can be latched in backwards, making this a great tail gating vehicle. It has some excellent matching sport buckets in the front which are very comfortable. Another nice thing is that due to the Lumina Vans’ unique shape with the front windows up there is hardly any wind buffeting in the front two seats. The sliding door does still work with some assistance and the rear is setup to have bottom hinges, I just never got around to it. The outside door handles on the front dont work, but dont worry, it’s impossible to lock yourself out! The van has been lowered about two inches and looks Great!! It comes with the 16″ aluminum wheels shown in the bottom right picture. The tires are in good shape. 

Asking price for this incredible piece-o-crap is $600. Even if you don’t get to lower the price, simply sell off the extra seats, and you come under the limit. Need a theme? Try painting it as a “Dustbuster” with the dust collector missing. It would be great to install a fan blowing “dust” out the back, but only during Judging…. See the Craigslist ad here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

48 responses to “Attention Midwest LeMons Participants – Guarenteed IOE Winna Available”

  1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
    mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    The listing is already gone, I hope one of us here got it!

    1. Jim Brennan Avatar
      Jim Brennan

      That's what happens when I don't make a copy of the ad…..

    2. Jim Brennan Avatar
      Jim Brennan


      1. OA5599 Avatar

        I don't think "Poof" works for Craigslist.

  2. Maymar Avatar

    I like the idea of a Dustbuster van with a Planet Express ship theme (and of course, the supercharged 3800 if the budget allows)
    <img src="; width=500 /img>
    Of course, if you got your hands on a Silhouette, you might want to go for the Cadillac Of Minivans approach.

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      +1 fort the cadillac of mini vans

  3. Maxichamp Avatar

    Is it just me, or has anyone else ever noticed that stock footage of Ex-Warsaw Pact countries circa mid-1990s always contains one of these vans in the background?

  4. dukeisduke Avatar

    Back in the early '90s, the Lumina APV was what Tupperware distributors aspired to – they were a reward for reaching a certain level of sales. Also, some friends of ours had a Lumina APV (not Tupperware reps), and the thing was practically indestructible. Sure it was craptastic, and it rattled and squeaked, but it was durable. Once I was riding in it, and the thermostat stuck closed. He drove it around for I don't know how long before he found a Pep Boys, where they replaced the t-stat, and thing ran fine after that – most other minivans would have blown a head gasket.
    The Dustbusters were related to the Fiero in that they used a mix of fiberglass and flexible plastic body panels over a steel space frame, with the mill-and-drill mounting pads for the panels, like the Fiero's.

  5. Alff Avatar

    This would be a great vehicle for an all-female team. Team Topless MILFmobile.
    Those are costumes I'd like to see.

    1. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

      You've already voted on that comment.
      I'm going to click "thumbs up" 10 more times anyway.

    2. Smells_Homeless Avatar

      Or not see, as the case may be. Yes?

    3. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      Plus thirty-two.
      That may be a record for Hooniverse.

  6. Black Steelies Avatar

    I saw the first pic and almost thought Hooniverse stumbled across some family album. We had two, yes two Lumina APVs from both generations. I thought they looked cool back then [as a 5 year old].
    If it didn't fall to ruin and somehow last long enough to become my first car I can imagine having to do something like that just to quell the lame-factor.

  7. themagicboltbox Avatar

    How have I gone this long without knowing that they made a panel van version of the dustbuster?

  8. Green Glob of Goo Avatar
    Green Glob of Goo

    For LeMons, I would go with Suburban Warfare theme, with a faux Ma Deuce pintle mounted on the basket hoop and a soccer-mom mannequin standing in the back manning (momming?) the gun.

  9. muthalovin Avatar

    So much better than the Murano CrossCabriolet thing. So, so much better.

    1. facelvega Avatar

      Wait, what? I didn't read the post yet, I thought that WAS the Murano Cabrio.

    2. facelvega Avatar


  10. Van Sarockin Avatar
    Van Sarockin

    For a LeMons theme, I'd like to see some Desperate Househusbands of Dubuque, or something.
    As for the Dustbuster. I like it better if I squint and tell myself it's just a shrunken GMC RV.

  11. dustin_driver Avatar

    Awesome Overload!

  12. Alff Avatar

    I'd be tempted to fill each seat with a child-size mannequin and put the driver in a Pedobear suit.

    1. chrystlubitshi Avatar

      i am totally up for that using my Astro…..

      1. chrystlubitshi Avatar

        speaking of creepy vans and all (this is off topic) i saw an Astro panel van last week with ohio plates that read "kids lov"……. tried to get a pic but my van was too bumpy of a ride to make it come out well…. the license plate frame read "kids love photography"… still creepy as sh*t…

      2. ChuckyShamrok Avatar

        I used to own a black Astro with limo tint rear windows. My friend's jockingly scrawled "We Have Your Children" on the side windows. I thought it was hilarious, and rolled around with that on my van for a while. The cops didn't find it as funny and I near constantly got pulled over

  13. 240 on the DL Avatar
    240 on the DL

    Left-over 2008ism that's past it's use-by date:
    "Wait… What?"

    1. Jim Brennan Avatar
      Jim Brennan

      OK then, what phrase would you suggest?

    2. Tanshanomi Avatar

      Let me guess, Eggnog — it's disgusting?
      Think it over; we'll be back.

    3. RichardKopf Avatar

      Wait… what?

  14. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    When he says, and he keeps saying it, Convertible, surely that implies some kind of folding roof arrangement. I see no evidence of any such endeavour here.
    By Convertible Cruiser, he means plastic van with no roof.
    By "I converted it" he means "I like beer and I own a sawzall".

    1. Maymar Avatar

      True, it's the Lumina APV Roadster!

    2. mdharrell Avatar

      In all fairness, "I like beer and I own a Sawzall" is exactly what I mean when I say "I once helped some friends renovate their kitchen."

  15. EnviouZ Avatar

    Sorry just realized in my excitement I sounded retarded. But yes that was my van, my friend and I co-owned it. We got the idea from top gear and new instantly that the shape of the APV would be perfect. As for racing, it was and iron head 3.1 and three speed auto, 266k miles. Not even close to fast, but fun? Absolutely. It is sold now and I'm sure they will have a lot of fun with it too. Glad you guys liked it!

    1. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar


    2. Jim Brennan Avatar
      Jim Brennan

      Hey, I am the author of this post. I would like to do a future post on this van…. If you could recall your experience in creating this piece and if you have pictures, e-mail them to the tip line. The Hoons here at Hooniverse would really get a kick out of your story, and maybe you would be in the running for Hooniverse Car of the Year 2011…

      1. muthalovin Avatar

        Yes, as long as there is a video of it drifting.

      2. EnviouZ Avatar

        I will do so this evening! I would love to share the experience with everyone! As for the drifting,… not so much. Its best to drive carefully when you are driving a vehicle with most of the structure cut away by crazy kids with sawzalls…

  16. Alff Avatar

    Did you sell it?

  17. alcology Avatar

    I hope this starts a trend. I just keep thinking of super Troopers. Mother of god.

  18. Jim Brennan Avatar
    Jim Brennan

    I know this will sound conceited, but this post is so full of win…

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar

      Sometimes the truth hurt—…um, "wins."

  19. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
    mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    That was brilliant, thanks for making this! Also pass along my thanks to your buddy. You two did a great thing!

  20. ChuckyShamrok Avatar

    My buddy came into the ownership of a rolled Cherokee, ran fine and everything, just had a salvage title and a crushed roof. Our great idea was to cut the roof off, weld in a cage and make a trail buggy out of it. We got as far as taking the rear interior out and cutting the roof off before we lost the space we were keeping it., So we scrapped it. Thing was fun as hell to tool around the parking lot in though
    <img src=""&gt;

  21. Z71 Avatar

    Most of those were proudly assembled at the beautiful GM Tarrytown Truck Assembly in New York.
    It's now a large open concrete space next to the Hudson bisected by train tracks though.….
    (scroll to middle of page)

    1. Age_of_Aerostar Avatar

      That's a pretty cool link with the history of all those GM plants. Thanks.

    2. Richard Slap Avatar
      Richard Slap

      Tarrytown pride, checking in!
      GM spent something like a zillion dollars setting up Tarrytown Assembly for the tricky process of building these bonded resin wonders. Problem was, they couldn't seem to give the damn vans away. GM lost a ton of money on the endeavor and shuttered Tarrytown.
      Tarrytown Assembly was the oldest car plant on the East Coast at the time they shut her down, and the Lumina APV was her swan song. Sort of unfortunate, really – kind of like how "Mafia!" was Lloyd Bridges' last movie…

  22. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    I never realised that they sold a cargo-van variant of this à la RamCaravan and Aerostar. I'm saddened that those didn't come standard with an enormous fiberglass handle on the roof (there's a LeMons theme…).

  23. humblejanitor Avatar

    Take the back seats out, put a plastic bubble over it and ta-da, new Popemobile!

  24. Richard Slap Avatar
    Richard Slap

    Since they built the APV in Tarrytown, NY, how about a Legend of Sleepy Hollow theme?

%d bloggers like this: