Announcing the 2013 Hooniversal Car of the Year!

Horse Race

Today is an historic day indeed. After a hard-fought battle across multiple social media outlets, with campaigners and complainers alike making their cases loud and long to anyone who would listen, the polls closed last night as we all cried “Happy New Year”. Well, as we on the West Coast cried it, and the East-Coasties were crying “Happy 3AM”, but you get the idea.

And, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, it can safely be announced that we have a tie. When the polls closed at midnight, we had received exactly the same number of votes for SpeedyCop’s Spirit of LeMons and for the Worst Car in the World. I’m disappointed in all of you.

As such, I’m arbitrarily disqualifying everyone except the Bricklin. Hooray!

No? Sigh. Fine then. It is a tie, and for the first — and hopefully only, because we never came up with any rules about what to do in the event of a tie — time, there are two Hooniversal Cars of the Year. I thought we should make the owners battle to the death in a giant vat of pudding, but I believe that would put poor SpeedyCop up against a disturbingly-large K-Car Horde. We need a name for them. They remind me of juggalos.

Unfortunately, there is only one Participant Ribbon Exotic HCoTY Trophy, and when I tried tearing the ribbon trophy in half, it disintegrated into a handful of green threads and gold sparkles. So congratulations to each of you, enjoy your handful of shredded remnants shared trophy!

For everyone who voted… I hope you’re proud of yourselves. Now go to your rooms.

By |2014-11-14T08:29:18+00:00November 14th, 2014|All Things Hoon|0 Comments

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