OK, Hoons and LeMoneers, here’s the deal. I’m sitting here with the 24 Hours of LeMons preview of the “Southern Discomfort” race at Carolina Motorsports Park to write and it goes live on the site in about 90 minutes. I have written none of it nor prepared for it. Get ready for a whirlwind round of “Write That Thing,” just like that time Isaac Asimov wrote a novel during a TV show, except with lunch beers and Dan Deacon playing at Top F–k-ng Volume.
Ready? Here we go. Lots of GIFs after the jump, you might need to let the page load a bit first. Sorry/not sorry.
Carolina Motorsports Park hosted one of the first few races outside of California and has become one of the series’ homes away from home along with MSR Houston, which the series visits next week. This weekend’s entry list includes 56 entries, which is a bit low, but it’s a fairly august gathering and fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.
Key got stuck, no time to fix, here’s the unofficial entry list. [Smashes laptop against desk, shouts for more lunch beer from barkeep.]
Shit, let’s just list some of the (semi-)interesting junk out with some onomatopoeia (and I should get a medal for spelling onomatopoeia correctly without looking it up). Or better yet, a GIF from my Stash-O-LeMons-GIFs. I should edit this paragraph for clarity, but I’m proud of my spelling achievement and ffffffffffffffffffffffffff.
#460 Tunachuckers (1975 Ford LTD)
#508 Team SOB (1975 Ford Gran Beemerino) – [Possibly/Hopefully Team SOB’s E30 turned into The Dude’s ‘75 Torino.]
#54 Knoxvegas Lowballers (Ford Contour Hooptiecorn) and #560 Knoxvegas Lowballers (Mercedes 560SL)
#17 Lunar Lemons (Chevy Astro)
#19 Team Sputnik (Nissan Sentra)
#170 Popcorn Racin’ (1994 Buick Regal)
#128 Duff Beer (1981 Jet Electra 007)
#8 Caster Oil (1982 ToyotaStarlet)
#888 Bear Mangled Winner (BMW E36)
#944 Mo’ Tow Fo’ Yo’ Dough (Porsche 944)
So who’s maybe gonna win the race? Maybe #13 Grim Reaper Racing (Ford Mustang V6), #133 Moldecarlo (G-Body Chevy Monte Carlo), Irritable Dad Syndrome (Mazda Miata), or #212 The Silver Bullets (Ford 302-swapped Nissan 240SX).
Follow along this weekend with live timing on Race-Monitor.com, the Race Monitor app, or SpecialtyTiming.com. Here’s some other (ir)relevant information and ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.
| CAROLINA MOTORSPORTS PARK | |
| Friday Tech Inspection (EST) | Noon to 5 p.m. |
| Saturday Session (EST) | 10 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. |
| Sunday Session (EST) | 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and Noon to 4 p.m. |
| LeMons Lap Record | Who cares? ‘ts probaby not that fast anyway. |
| Overall Winners | 2008 – She Got It All (Mazda RX-7) |
| 2009 (1) – Dorifto Dogs (BMW E30) | |
| 2009 (2) – White Lightning (Mazda RX-7) | |
| 2010 (1) – RbankRacing.com (Saab 900 Turbo) | |
| 2010 (2) – Super Troopers Racing (BMW E30) | |
| 2010 (3) – Iron LeMon Racing (BMW E30) | |
| 2011 (1) Hong Norrth (Mazda MX-3) | |
| 2011 (2) – Hong Norrth (Mazda MX-3) | |
| 2011 (3) – Hong Norrth (Mazda MX-3) | |
| 2012 (1) – RbankRacing.com (Saab 9-3) | |
| 2012 (2) – Hong Norrth (Mazda MX-3) | |
| 2013 (1) – Molde Carlo (Chevy Monte Carlo) | |
| 2013 (2) – Racing Nemo (BMW E30) | |
| 2014 (1) – RC Spiders (Mercedes 190E) | |
| 2014 (2) – RC Spiders (Mercedes 190E) | |
| 2015 (1) – Vermont Bert-One (Volvo 262C) | |
| 2015 (2) – Knoxvegas Lowballers (Geo Metro) | |
| 2016 (1) – Hard Parkers (Ford Mustang) | |
| 2016 (2) – Done Racing Racing (BMW Z3/AMC AMX) | |
| Class B Winners | 2008 – The Punishers (Chevy Caprice) |
| 2009 (1) – Ponticrap: We Are Driving Excrement (Pontiac FierO) | |
| 2009 (2) – Revenge of Molde Carlo (Chevy Montecarlo) | |
| 2010 (1) – Team SOB (Volkswagen GTI) | |
| 2010 (2) – Uchill (Audi 100) | |
| 2010 (3) – Howard J. Turkstra Motorsports (Toyota Celica) | |
| 2011 (1) – Team Tortoise (Ford Crown Victoria) | |
| 2011 (2) – Molde Carlo (Chevy Monte Carlo) | |
| 2011 (3) – Team Tortoise (Ford Crown Victoria) | |
| 2012 (1) – Grim Reaper Racing (Ford Mustang) | |
| 2012 (2) – Student Drivers (Ford Crown Vic) | |
| 2013 (1) – Questie’s Racing Team (Ford Escort) | |
| 2013 (2) Morrows Racing (Mitsubishi Mirage) | |
| 2014 (1) – Team Scrap Iron (Ford Escort) | |
| 2014 (2) – Halfast Racing (Chevy Caprice Impala) | |
| 2015 (1) – Knoxvegas Lowballers (Geo Metro) | |
| 2015 (2) – PsychoBilly Crapcan! (BMW E36) | |
| 2016 (1) – Knoxvegas Lowballers (Ford Contour) | |
| 2016 (2) – Ruke Boy Racing (Pontiac Firebird) | |
| Class C Winners | 2008 – CC Canada (Nissan 300ZX) |
| 2009 (1) – [Memory Missing, ffffffffffffffffffffffffff] | |
| 2009 (2) – Sweede Little Pigs 9Saab 900) | |
| 2010 (1) – Theoretical Racing (Nissan 280ZX) | |
| 2010 (2) – Rush Hour Racing: Mellow Cab (Ford Crown Vic) | |
| 2010 (3) – Tunachuckers (Volvo 122) | |
| 2011 (1) – Sputnik (Nissan Stanza Wagon) | |
| 2011 (2) – Sputnik (Nissan Stanza Wagon) | |
| 2011 (3) – NSF Racing (Pontiac Trans Am) | |
| 2012 (1) – Flirtin With Disaster, Morrow Racing (Buick Reatta) | |
| 2012 (2) – Failure Modes (Volvo 240) | |
| 2013 (1) – PBR (Subaru Outback) | |
| 2013 (2) – Austin Powerless (Austin Marina) | |
| 2014 (1) – Mock Grass Racing (Kia Sephia) | |
| 2014 (2) – Cadillac Racing (Cadillac Catera) | |
| 2015 (1) – Fuzzy Blumpkins (Ford Pinto) | |
| 2015 (2) – E30/6 (BMW E30) | |
| 2016 (1) – Idle Clatter (Toyota Hilux/Mercedes 300SD) | |
| 2016 (2) – Austin Powerless (Austin Marina) | |
| Index of Effluency Winners | 2008 – The Tunachuckers (Volvo 144) |
| 2009 (1) – Heavy Metal (Ford LTD) | |
| 2009 (2) – Rusty Bolt Racing (BMW E12) | |
| 2010 (1) – Track Pillagerz! (Buick LeSabre) | |
| 2010 (2) – Schumacher Taxi Service – Craptation Regurgitation (Chevy Citation) | |
| 2010 (3) – Dog Ciao Racing (Alfa Romeo Spider) | |
| 2011 (1) – NSF Racing (Plymouth Fury) | |
| 2011 (2) – Greene County Moving Co. (Chevy S10) | |
| 2011 (3) – Tunachuckers (Ford LTD) | |
| 2012 (1) – Flirtin With Disaster, Morrow Racing (Buick Reatta) | |
| 2012 (2) – NSF Racing (Mercedes 170) | |
| 2013 (1) – Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Spirit of LeMons) | |
| 2013 (2) – Idle Clatter (Mercedes 300SD) | |
| 2014 (1) – NSF racing (Ford Convertible) | |
| 2014 (2) – Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Ford LTD Wagon) | |
| 2015 (1) – Collateral Damage Racing (Chevy Cavalier) | |
| 2015 (2) – Idle Clatter 2 (Toyota Hilux/Mercedes 300D) | |
| 2016 (1) – Lunar Lemon (Chevy Astro) | |
| 2016 (2) – NSF Racing (Pontiac LeMans) | |
[Photos: Murilee Martin, GIFs pulled from 24 Hours of LeMons YouTube channel]
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