24 Hours of LeMons: 'Real Hoopties of New Jersey' at New Jersey Motorsports Park

Hey ho, it’s one of those 24 Hours of LeMons previews I write from time to time. This one’s for the upcoming race at New Jersey Motorsports Park called “The Real Hoopties of New Jersey.” This is the eighth LeMons race in New Jersey, a place renowned for its beauty and its total void of state regulation regarding racing. Let’s take a look at some of the things that are thinging at the thing.

Thing verbs thing and other thing. Words go here, this is placeholder text that will run anyway. Maybe a Cousin Alphonse reference with video. You can find the unofficial entry list right here. And just to keep things interesting, here are some of the more effluent cars on the entry list:

#32 Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Suzuki X-90) – Speedycop’s X-90, aka the Greatest Road Racer of All Time, returns in a new guise.
#451 Park Bench Race Team (Buick Regal)The best team in the world, gonna win it all.
#16 Sinical Racing (VW Beetle) – Crazy Honda Odyssey V6 hanging off the back of the car. This thing is crazy and ran the LeMons Rally in February.
#395 Dahlinboys with Frankenphil (Cadillac Eldorado)Likely another LeMons Rally veteran from a team that has raced a Celica and Integra for years.

#7 Sinical Racing (Hudson Hornet) – A totally bitchin’ replica of Mario Andretti’s first car.
#19 Knotfurlong (1977 Dodge Aspen-ish) – Would be the first Aspen in LeMons, which is kind of astonishing if that’s the case.
#4 Duhhh-kota (Dodge Dakota) – Pickup trucks, yay!
#88 Press the Button Max (‘67 Plymouth Valiant) – Old Mopars, yay!

#21 Interceptor Motorsports (1976 Bluesmobile) – The be-all, end-all of Bluesmobile LeMons cars.
#2 Rally Baby (AMC Hornet) – “Cheater” AMC, yay!
#52 The Defeat Device (Chevy Chevette) – Subaru Boxer engine and ATV suspension. This thing is crazy, loud, and fast.
#108 Frankenvette (Chevy Chevette) – Another crazy Chevette build, I think.
#31 Great Globs of Oil (Buick Opel Isuzu) – Some kind of weird Chevette cousin built by Isuzu for Opel and sold by Buick. Or something.

#24 Super Grover (Rover P6B) – British refinement.
#42 Three Pedal Mafia (Isuzu Hombre) – Bad hombres. No bueno.
#912 Drunk Firemen (VW Golf Diesel) – Stock 50-horsepower VW diesel when it last run. Painfully slow but ran like a truck.

Who’s gonna win this thing? Probably one of the kinda-fast cars that doesn’t make any mistakes. You can find out on Race Monitor’s or Specialty Timing’s website right here. Check Roadkill.com for more coverage next week after the race is over. Here’s some semi-relevant information.

NJMP 2017

Friday Tech Inspection (EST) Noon to 5 p.m.
Saturday Session (EST) 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Sunday Session (EST) 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.
LeMons Lap Record 1:42.020 – Awesome Joe Racing (BMW E36 M3)
Overall Winners 2011 – Team Cardorks, Invisible Pink Unicorn (BMW E30)
  2012 – Duct Tape Motorsports (BMW E30)
  2013 – The Silver Errors – Zeigel Scheisshaus Racing (Mercedes 190E)
  2014 (1) – Near-Orbital Space Monkeys (Ford Mustang)
  2014 (2) – Keystone Kops (Volvo 240)
  2015 MR2 Old to Care (Toyota MR2)
  2016 – One Tire Fire (Datsun 280ZX
Class B Winners 2011 – Fastish and the Furriest (Volvo 245)
  2012 – Swedish Mafia Racing (Volvo 240)
  2013 – Bill Danger and the Road Hazards (Honda Accord)
  2014 (1) – Team Farfrumwinnin (VW Fox)
  2014 (2) – Fast Al’s Race Team (Volvo 740)
  2015 – Swedish Mafia Racing (Volvo 240)
  2016 – 3 Pedal Mafia (Honda Civic)
Class C Winners 2011 – Vermont Volvocheros (Volvo 240)
  2012 – Vermont Maple Runners (Volvo 262C)
  2013 – The B Team (Ford Escort)
  2014 (1) – The Little Engine That Shouldn’t (Toyota Corolla)
  2014 (2) – DeCuzzi Racing Gulf A Fiero (Pontiac Fiero)
  2015 – Team Sputnik (Geo Metro)
  2016 – Rally Baby Racing (AMC Hornet)
Index of Effluency Winners 2011 – Gormless Racing (MGB-GT)
  2012 – 3 Pedal Mafia (The Boat, Chevy S10)
  2013 – Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Ford Festiva/UD Camaro)
  2014 (1) – Super Grover (Rover P6B 3500)
  2014 (2) – Prompt Critical (Mercury Capri)
  2015 – Sinical Racing 3 (VW Super Beetle)
  2016 – 3 Pedal Mafia (Citroen SM)

[Photos: Eric Rood]

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6 responses to “24 Hours of LeMons: 'Real Hoopties of New Jersey' at New Jersey Motorsports Park”

  1. Sjalabais Avatar

    Great field. Any other racing form where a quarter of the cars mentioned for good positions or lap records are Volvos?

  2. Fuhrman16 Avatar

    I believe this is the first Dodge Dakota to race in Lemons, is it not?

  3. Tiberiuswise Avatar

    Good luck people. It’s supposed to be 50 degrees and raining the whole weekend.

  4. Wayne Moyer Avatar
    Wayne Moyer

    Ok first I heard the Park Bench Racing team is going to DOMINATE! You know because Hooniverse.
    Oh and “Push the button Max”? Are we doing a Season 11 MST3k reference already?

    1. mdharrell Avatar

      It’s from 1965’s “The Great Race.”

      1. Wayne Moyer Avatar
        Wayne Moyer

        Which is likely where Joel Hodgson got it from for MST3k as well in the original series.

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