Well Shoot My Brake and Call Me Ransom: A Two-Door Vista Cruiser!

Sure, the proportions are a bit awkward. Same can be said of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling.
When it comes to GM’s postwar two-door wagons, we all know about the 1955-’57 Chevy Nomad. And a lot of us probably know about the ’55-’57 Pontiac Safari, which used the Nomad body shell. Hell, there’s probably a few of us hoons who are familiar with the ’64-’65 Chevelle 300 two-door wagon. But how many of you are familiar with the ’70 Olds Vista Cruiser due porte?
Mmmm...Rallye Pac...
Now before you start screaming for the builder’s head on a plate for hacking up one of the awesomest estate cars in history, let it be known that the seller claims to have spoken with an old car expert in North Carolina who “said that in 1970 he read where olds made a couple of two doors to get the public opinion and on some special orders to the factory from funeral homes they could make a herse [sic].” But that’s not the only thing that makes you go “Hmmm…”: the seller also claims that the conversion work is “the best job that I or some of my body men friends have every [sic] seen.” Whomever built it, it appears to be based on a Cutlass Supreme (which had a formal roofline and truncated quarter windows versus the regular Cutlass hardtop’s fastback profile and ovoid quarter glass) with Vista Cruiser roof, quarter panels, bumper and tailgate grafted on. It also retains the 4-door Vista Cruiser’s forward-facing third row seat (complete with dual sun visors for the front skylight), making this creation a seven- or eight-seater, though the seller doesn’t specify if anyone who has outgrown a booster seat will actually fit back there. Did I mention it has a four-speed? Well it does. It also has the Rallye Pac – meaning full instrumentation – and, erm, a Chevy 350 under the hood (though a running Oldsmobile Rocket 350 and bellhousing is apparently included). There is some rust and Bondo, but the frame is purportedly solid. With just under 9 hours to go, you still have time to sell a kidney pawn your great-grandmother’s sterling silver urn and pour her into a Ziploc bag look under the sofa cushions for the extra dinero needed to make this unusual specimen yours. And you know you want to make it yours; how else do you plan on impressing the queen of your gas machine? Further intrigue (Ha!) on eBay Motors.

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