Weekend Edition: The Miss Geico Motorboat Edition


It’s time now for Day 2 of some of the random carp this olelongrooffan has recently spotted around these here Palm Beach, Florida parts. Last week I was down at the big box that loves Jimmie Johnson so much picking up some bathroom paint (did I tell ya how much I hate to paint?) and down by the contractor entrance a little party was happening around a big boat. Of course, I had to mosey on down, grab me a free hot dog and diet sodie pop and ascertain the story about this boat from that lovely young lady pictured above.


Although that young woman is not Miss Geico, she knew all about this motorboat and all of its functions. And try as she might, there was no way she was going to pawn any of those Miss Geico posters off on this olelongrooffan. I did, however, snag a handful of can coozies with that gecko’s logo splattered all over them. Look for one of those come Hoonimas…just saying.


Laura (that is her name by the way) mentioned they take this big old rig to fourteen races per year, mainly along the Atlantic Coast but they do have a race in Lake Michigan and another on some lake in New York state.


I didn’t get the overall length of that motorboat but Laura did tell this olelongrooffan that it cost over $2,000,000.00 for this four year old boat to be built. They are having a new one constructed for the 2014 season. And that trailer runs a mere $80,000.00 which this olelongrooffan thought was fairly reasonable.



Laura further mentioned their new boat is also to be sponsored by Mercury Marine and they will power it, this one is powered by twin helicopter motors, I think she said 1,251’s? No matter what, they are sufficient to get this motorboat up to a top speed of 221 miles per hour.


This olelongrooffan was surprised to see this boat’s home is a mere town or two to the south of TheStuccoBox. When I took leave of that party, Laura handed me a business card and told me to stop on by anytime. I have a feeling that will be happening one day soon. Not next weekend though, they have a boat race up in Cocoa Beach, Florida.


I have seen a few of this boats race offshore. They generally are a few thousand yards off the shoreline and even at that distance, the noise emitting from these babies is thunderous. Not racecar loud as they are nearly a mile away but on the beach, you definitely know they are out there.


And this olelongrooffan is just gonna mention once that everything about this boat, trailer, semi style tow rig is BIG. I mean, hell, their chase vehicle is a freakin’ F350!


The cockpit was not surprisingly spartan. It is a race boat after all. Two seats up front for the driver and co-pilot and a third one in the rear for whoever is crazy enough to get strapped into it. And a gratuitous image of my longerroof in the reflection off that cockpit cover is included at no extra charge.

Image Copyright Hooniverse 2013/longrooffan

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11 responses to “Weekend Edition: The Miss Geico Motorboat Edition”

  1. owl Avatar

    Its what you Americans do best – big and loud. Bring it on!

  2. $kaycog Avatar

    Wow! From the looks of her, I bet she's really fast!

    1. Alff Avatar

      …and set up for some big motorboating.

      1. $kaycog Avatar

        At which time, you'll probably see a lot of seamen.

      2. dead_elvis Avatar

        Go big or go home – motorboating really doesn't work any other way.

      3. dead_elvis Avatar
    2. MVEilenstein Avatar

      She's a little touchy in the fast curves, but she can't be beat for speed.

  3. joedunlap Avatar

    My insurance premiums at work. Groan…..

  4. SSurfer321 Avatar

    If memory serves me correctly, the seat on the right is for the "Driver" while the seat on the left is for the "Throttle Man" and the 3rd seat is for the "Navigator".
    I miss SPEED channel showing off-shore powerboat racing.

  5. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    In 1998, I watched a similar boat do high speed runs a half-mile off shore from Santa Barbara, Cali. It was freaky, and freakin' loud. Watching it was like watching a fast-forward video some to life.
    And the sound. . . coming closer, before the Doppler shift, it made my forehead vibrate and messed with my vision. Then, for a millisecond when the boat was neither getting closer or further away, it was like a quick slap to the face. Then the pitch dropped and the physical sensation was like someone throwing tennis balls at my chest.
    That's just how the sound felt. What it did to my ears. . . that was something else completely.

  6. Dark Helmet Avatar
    Dark Helmet

    For you low-information voters out there, GEICO shelled out big bucks to a research company here in Englewood, CO to develope LIDAR a few years back. They'll never admit to this fact nor will they answer any queries about their involvement in this venture. Something to do with "Conflict of Interest", I guess. So, everytime you get lit up by your local constabulary, you can thank these greed-pigs for their investment in law enforcement technology.

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