The Ugliest Car… In The Parking Lot

Ugly little car.

I was invited out to meet some friends this weekend at COTA. They were visiting out from out of town, so I had assumed that they were just coming to check out the course and facilities on an off-day. 

I accidentally walked into the sensory assault that was the SCCA Super Tour

However, one car stood out. This strange, horrible, honest, and possibly fire-prone little mystery car that was in the parking lot. I couldn’t ID it, no badging was left on the car, and none of us recognized it. What is it, and how many filler neck fires has it been through?

Shelby wheels!


Must be British.


  1. Looks like some sort of Ford UK/Datsun/Fiat mash up that looks familiar at first glance, yet I have no clue as to what it is…

  2. It looks like it's spent a lot of time parked under trees, and I can't tell if that's supposed to be a halo vinyl roof, or someone glued on a carpet remnant. Why are all these weird cars here in Texas? And, Carroll Shelby wheels For The Win!

    1. Somebody needs to invest in some Standard Catalog books. 🙂 But then, I'm old enough to remember when they were ubiquitous, still shiny and factory painted in some hideous colors.

      1. I didn't mean to come off like an asshole. It was not my intention to berate you in any way, or make you feel unworthy of hoonishness. I was simply surprised that you had no idea what it was. I would have said the same thing to any of my friends, who would have known it was not meant as a put-down, just as good natured ribbing. That said, I do give you my sincere apology if you took any offense. Again, none was intended. Now, everybody peace out and have a great day!

        1. Sorry from me too, I have to go to DMV again (my fault), was not in good mood. I sometimes worry about this place getting all topsie turvy cause it hurt so much at the last place, so I tend to over react.

      2. True, you don't see many old Japanese stuff anymore, except for some old Celicas and occasional pickups.

    2. Does it somehow make you feel better that you do and to let Phillip know the way that you did? Look how Duke answered the simple question simply above. Phillip is not all that old. I don't expect he cares about how you were rude, but I do. I know I am just a reader, but one of the reasons I like hooniverse is because there is none of that one-up-man-ship, bragging, in-your-face-know-it-all-ism that there is on some other sites. I avoid them just as I avoid some guys at the cruise-ins that treat cars like baseball cards and look at me the way that they do when they talk at me for the first and last time.
      Everybody, let's not let this place fall to ruin, please.

        1. Off topic, but my wife told me a couple days ago they are making another Anchorman film, so excited!

      1. sir, please unbunch your panties…his statement was faaar from horribly rude. could have easily been said jokingly.

    3. I couldn't. The best I could do was recognize that it was a 70s Honda, Toyota or Mazda. I don't know those compact cars very well.
      I'm in my early 30s, and around here, I see the occasional 70s Civic, but the rest of the 70s Japanese economy cars seem to have disappeared from the roads completely. (EDIT: and around here is, of course, the California Bay Area, rather than Texas.)

    1. Exposure to the summer sun will eventually do that. The padded ones look even cooler, with white fuzzy stuff showing through.

    1. I had to scroll back up and think about that one for a while.
      …then snorked and scrolled back down and up-thumbed you.

  3. I like how it's basically a rolling molotov cocktail.
    The rolling part is debatable, since it looks like it was abandoned there in the early 90s.

      1. I'll bet the caps are pretty hard to find nowadays, as they're pretty distinctive looking. Some of the E20s have a door there, that matches a trim piece on the other side.

      1. I think if it were washed and gone over with polishing compound or a claybar, it could look pretty good.

  4. wow really.? couldn't identify the car British.?
    It's time you look for another job cause your lack motivation here is holding you back
    REALLY british i think.? COME ON.!

        1. Interesting fact No. 734.5
          British Leyland, for they were called British Leyland then, and not BMC, BMH, Standard Triumph or any combination, redesigned the interior of the Ballade to be be more British, and gained many inches of leg room and general niceness. So the Honda crew took it back to Minato and added it to their cars
          Intresting fact No.735. I took the design of the engine mounts and re-engineered them for the LC10 (Montego)

    1. Speaking of jobs, don't take up porn with that name.
      Must be British. – Does the idea of humour register with you?
      I don't always expect people to get my humour, but this one posted under an oil stain no less, is dead simple.

        1. Knowledge Whores, they give it up without even agreeing on a safe word.
          For our humourless readers…
          Safe word
          In BDSM community, a word (usually irrelevant and strange in the context of the sexual situation) agreed by the participating parties to cease the activity. This is so that the submissive partner(s) can say "stop" and "no" as often as they want during the session and use the safe word when they actually mean it.
          Top: *whip whip*
          Bottom: Ouch, no, stop, please stop … FISHSTICKS!
          Top: Huh?
          Bottom: Dammit, that's our safe word – now seriously, fishsticks!

          1. Top: "WRONG! 'Fishsticks' was last week's safeword!" *whip whip whip*
            Bottom: "Polevault?… Nurburgring?…Schenectady?… Guibo?"
            et cetera…

    2. Counting 7 negative thumbs and 5 moderating replies. Feels like you guys try to hug the evil out of here. Likable!

      1. Not sure about anyone else, but he left that opening just sitting there on a pedestal. I knew I had Rusty and Harrell to beat, at the very least, if I wanted to get my dig in.
        EDIT: And I'm not convinced that Phillip hadn't left that as a deliberate trap for a troll.

          1. Yes, but did you know that speedy knew that you would know that he knew that you knew that?

  5. I hope it didn't all start when the filler cap was lost. Because then you can't wash a car. And when you can't wash a car, why care about…anything? Horrible machine, yet very fascinating.

  6. I don't know how old Phillip is, but if he's younger than 40 it's no surprise he couldn't recognize it. There's not a lot in the US, and unless you're an avid Toyota follower they're not the easiest to distinguish. I couldn't have told you what it was, who cares? Every day there is a car posted on here that I didn't know before, or at least that I'm not so intimiately familiar with that I could pick out a well worn and beaten example missing a bunch of trim.
    Oh, and generally, we frown on being an absolute prick around here, so kindly take that crap back to youtube.

  7. I have this image in my mind of the owner driving it with the driver side rear view mirror angled at the C-pillar.
    "Crap, it's on fire again…"
    The owner then casually pulls over, smacks the fire with a shop rag a few times, gets back in, and calmly drives on.

      1. They usually extinguish themselves because Lucas won't let the electrons flow for long enough?

    1. "Zere was a horrible fire in ze garage of zee hotel, and your car was…BURNT TO A CRISP! Mon dieu!"

        1. Sorry, not sure why I called it Johnny Lightning. It looks cool, though. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  8. I love that car. Not old Corollas in general, just that one. I want to keep it as a pet. I want to take it home and protect it. If it were a dog it would be named Quincy and would suffer badly from flatulence, but would be forgiven every time.

  9. I was gonna say it's an NSX, but the trolls our out on this post for some reason, so I will go ahead and say it:
    Phillip, that is totally an NSX.

  10. I was going to say Capri. Good thing I kept my stupid mouth shut. And I used to see old Corollas all the time, thirty years ago.

  11. It needs a good scrubbing, and a gas cap. But then, that would ruin the patina. So, never mind.

  12. I used to know an old guy (gearhead) that grew up in Chicago in the '30s, and he said as a kid, he would drop lit matches into filler necks. He said that nothing ever blew up; it would just flash the vapors, then extinguish when it hit the liquid. Was he just very lucky? By the way, he later went to the University of Chicago, and as an undergrad, helped build the pile under the bleachers there, for the first chain reaction.

    1. Number 19 is a Mitsubishi Colt 1100f. My old man had 2 of them. Never seen another one in the flesh again. Apparently bit of a rally car in their day. I drove it… it was horrible!

      1. YAY, we have a winner… I knew that… I found this picture on Flickr where it said Mitsubishi Colt!

  13. Can't believe you guys are ragging on Tom's car!!
    Tom bought that thing for beans and has been driving it all over TX. He showed up to a bunch of races last year in an old Datsun 310. said he paind next to nothing for them, drives them until they're beyond dead, then grabs another cheap beater.
    Funniest thing is this guy owns a very well prepped GT3 car and also preps a Spec Racer Ford for a guy that always finishes up front..

    1. I knew the internet would find the owner! Not ragging, fascinated that it's still here. This was at the SCCA Super Tour, the Formula-F cars were running.

    2. I really like Tom's car, I would guess most of us do. That photo I commented with makes it look really good too. I wonder, is it some gas tank vacuum type of issue that explains the shopping bags, or just that the cap was lost?

    3. I believe for many of us this Corolla is more interesting than a GT3 and possibly a toss-up with a Spec Racer Ford. It's good to know that it's still on the road. Got any photos of the 310?

  14. I can't help but feel like the ellipsis in that title needs to be moved slightly.
    Lookin' 'round the lot
    I can tell that that
    Is the most ugly car in the….lot.
    In the whole wide lot.
    (Although I realize now that if I read it as Jeremy Clarkson, the ellipsis is perfect where it is, so….toss-up.)

  15. Its a Krasmunt "Gundersnipe" XE 5. Very rare. Pop this up on eBay and the money will flow like a river!

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