The Ugliest Car… In The Parking Lot

Ugly little car.

I was invited out to meet some friends this weekend at COTA. They were visiting out from out of town, so I had assumed that they were just coming to check out the course and facilities on an off-day. 

I accidentally walked into the sensory assault that was the SCCA Super Tour

However, one car stood out. This strange, horrible, honest, and possibly fire-prone little mystery car that was in the parking lot. I couldn’t ID it, no badging was left on the car, and none of us recognized it. What is it, and how many filler neck fires has it been through?

Shelby wheels!

 

Must be British.

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120 responses to “The Ugliest Car… In The Parking Lot”

  1. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    It's a Toyota Corolla, a second-gen (E20) model.

  2. krazykarguy Avatar
    krazykarguy

    Looks like some sort of Ford UK/Datsun/Fiat mash up that looks familiar at first glance, yet I have no clue as to what it is…

  3. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    It looks like it's spent a lot of time parked under trees, and I can't tell if that's supposed to be a halo vinyl roof, or someone glued on a carpet remnant. Why are all these weird cars here in Texas? And, Carroll Shelby wheels For The Win!

  4. stigshift Avatar
    stigshift

    You can't recognize an early '70s Toyota Corolla?

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Somebody needs to invest in some Standard Catalog books. 🙂 But then, I'm old enough to remember when they were ubiquitous, still shiny and factory painted in some hideous colors.

      1. Devin Avatar
        Devin

        Or just look at this thing in this case:
        http://www.toyota-global.com/company/history_of_t
        I could recognize it, but only because that thing is fascinating.

        1. Tomsk Avatar

          That site is a fantastic time sink.

        2. BlackIce_GTS Avatar
          BlackIce_GTS

          Ow my head!

        3. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          mr. mzs zsm msz esq

          Again, that site may be why I will upgrade my DSL at home.

    2. phillipthomas25 Avatar
      phillipthomas25

      Old Jap iron isn't very common here, not unless it's Datsun 510 or Z-car.

      1. stigshift Avatar
        stigshift

        I didn't mean to come off like an asshole. It was not my intention to berate you in any way, or make you feel unworthy of hoonishness. I was simply surprised that you had no idea what it was. I would have said the same thing to any of my friends, who would have known it was not meant as a put-down, just as good natured ribbing. That said, I do give you my sincere apology if you took any offense. Again, none was intended. Now, everybody peace out and have a great day!

        1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          mr. mzs zsm msz esq

          Sorry from me too, I have to go to DMV again (my fault), was not in good mood. I sometimes worry about this place getting all topsie turvy cause it hurt so much at the last place, so I tend to over react.

        2. phillipthomas25 Avatar
          phillipthomas25

          <img src="http://i.imgur.com/4f5cWDV.png&quot; alt="" title="Hosted by imgur.com" />
          I took no offense.

      2. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        True, you don't see many old Japanese stuff anymore, except for some old Celicas and occasional pickups.

    3. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Does it somehow make you feel better that you do and to let Phillip know the way that you did? Look how Duke answered the simple question simply above. Phillip is not all that old. I don't expect he cares about how you were rude, but I do. I know I am just a reader, but one of the reasons I like hooniverse is because there is none of that one-up-man-ship, bragging, in-your-face-know-it-all-ism that there is on some other sites. I avoid them just as I avoid some guys at the cruise-ins that treat cars like baseball cards and look at me the way that they do when they talk at me for the first and last time.
      Everybody, let's not let this place fall to ruin, please.

      1. phillipthomas25 Avatar
        phillipthomas25

        No offense was taken, but I appreciate the message. It's what keeps Hooniverse classy.
        <img src="http://i.imgur.com/cfQom5p.jpg&quot; alt="" title="Hosted by imgur.com" />

        1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          mr. mzs zsm msz esq

          Off topic, but my wife told me a couple days ago they are making another Anchorman film, so excited!

          1. MVEilenstein Avatar
            MVEilenstein

            Heard the same.

          2. SSurfer321 Avatar
            SSurfer321

            Principal shooting has started. There are pics online of them filming.
            <img src="http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201324/reg_634.WillFerrell.mh.030413.jpg"&gt;
            IMG from Eonline

          3. P161911 Avatar

            Yep, I believe they are filming right now in the Atlanta area.

      2. kvnkiley Avatar
        kvnkiley

        sir, please unbunch your panties…his statement was faaar from horribly rude. could have easily been said jokingly.

      3. Smells_Homeless Avatar
        Smells_Homeless

        Thank you, Mr. Mzsxmsmzmzmz.

    4. jeepjeff Avatar
      jeepjeff

      I couldn't. The best I could do was recognize that it was a 70s Honda, Toyota or Mazda. I don't know those compact cars very well.
      I'm in my early 30s, and around here, I see the occasional 70s Civic, but the rest of the 70s Japanese economy cars seem to have disappeared from the roads completely. (EDIT: and around here is, of course, the California Bay Area, rather than Texas.)

  5. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    And they're stupid bulletproof, which explains why it's still on the road.

  6. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
    mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    Is it a chia pet or is that what vinyl does in TX?

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Exposure to the summer sun will eventually do that. The padded ones look even cooler, with white fuzzy stuff showing through.

    2. phillipthomas25 Avatar
      phillipthomas25

      Texas summers are brutal to vinyl tops and paint out here.

    3. longrooffan Avatar

      spotting in Daytona Beach while I was on my way to the 2013 Rolex24.
      <img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8085/8553040608_5212e57ef1.jpg&quot; width="500" height="375" alt="tripdownus1 012">
      I knew I would use this image somewhere sometime.

  7. LTDScott Avatar
    1. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      ISWYDT

    2. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick

      I had to scroll back up and think about that one for a while.
      …then snorked and scrolled back down and up-thumbed you.

  8. MVEilenstein Avatar
    MVEilenstein

    "What is it, and how many filler neck fires has it been through?"
    Further proving my point that there is a song for nearly everything in life, I give you:
    [youtube PvF9PAxe5Ng http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvF9PAxe5Ng youtube]
    Quench my thirst with gasoline.

      1. MVEilenstein Avatar
        MVEilenstein

        I lol'd.

    1. dead_elvis Avatar

      As you wish.
      [youtube dUA9FUTieKA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUA9FUTieKA youtube]

  9. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick

    I like how it's basically a rolling molotov cocktail.
    The rolling part is debatable, since it looks like it was abandoned there in the early 90s.

  10. FrankTheCat Avatar
    FrankTheCat

    Is that… a plastic bag shoved in the gas tank filler neck?

    1. phillipthomas25 Avatar
      phillipthomas25

      Yes! Seven different kinds of shady going on with this car's gas cap situation.

      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        I'll bet the caps are pretty hard to find nowadays, as they're pretty distinctive looking. Some of the E20s have a door there, that matches a trim piece on the other side.

    2. toxicavenger1 Avatar
      toxicavenger1

      Might be ugly,but maybe that is "patina" the most over used barn find word yet.

      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        I think if it were washed and gone over with polishing compound or a claybar, it could look pretty good.

        1. topdeadcentre Avatar
          topdeadcentre

          Or with a belt sander and a putty knife…

  11. speedy Avatar
    speedy

    wow really.? couldn't identify the car British.?
    It's time you look for another job cause your lack motivation here is holding you back
    REALLY british i think.? COME ON.!

    1. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick

      Your mom's British.
      <img src="http://i.imgur.com/79cU34K.gif"&gt;

    2. jeepjeff Avatar
      jeepjeff

      It can be hard to tell British and Japanese cars apart sometimes.
      <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cb/1988_Rover_213SE_Automatic.jpg/800px-1988_Rover_213SE_Automatic.jpg&quot; width=500>

      1. Devin Avatar
        Devin

        What are you talking about? This Honda:
        <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ae/Becky3.jpg&quot; width="500">
        And this Triumph:
        <img src="http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e322/Neeko1981/1983%20Honda%20Civic%204DSD/1106081103.jpg&quot; width="500">
        Are totally easy to tell apart!

        1. jeepjeff Avatar
          jeepjeff

          Well, sure. The Triumph is silver and the Honda is red. Definitely different cars.

          1. Devin Avatar
            Devin

            You fell into my ingenious trap!

        2. quijoteMike Avatar
          quijoteMike

          Interesting fact No. 734.5
          British Leyland, for they were called British Leyland then, and not BMC, BMH, Standard Triumph or any combination, redesigned the interior of the Ballade to be be more British, and gained many inches of leg room and general niceness. So the Honda crew took it back to Minato and added it to their cars
          Intresting fact No.735. I took the design of the engine mounts and re-engineered them for the LC10 (Montego)

        3. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

          Acclaim! My first car! ELR90Y. We called him Elroy.

          1. FrankTheCat Avatar
            FrankTheCat

            <img src="http://i.imgur.com/N0dmlBo.jpg&quot; width="600">
            There's only one Mater that I know.

    3. POLAЯ Avatar
      POLAЯ

      Speaking of jobs, don't take up porn with that name.
      Must be British. – Does the idea of humour register with you?
      I don't always expect people to get my humour, but this one posted under an oil stain no less, is dead simple.

      1. phillipthomas25 Avatar
        phillipthomas25

        +1

        1. POLAЯ Avatar
          POLAЯ

          Knowledge Whores, they give it up without even agreeing on a safe word.
          For our humourless readers…
          Safe word
          In BDSM community, a word (usually irrelevant and strange in the context of the sexual situation) agreed by the participating parties to cease the activity. This is so that the submissive partner(s) can say "stop" and "no" as often as they want during the session and use the safe word when they actually mean it.
          Top: *whip whip*
          Bottom: Ouch, no, stop, please stop … FISHSTICKS!
          Top: Huh?
          Bottom: Dammit, that's our safe word – now seriously, fishsticks!

          1. topdeadcentre Avatar
            topdeadcentre

            Top: "WRONG! 'Fishsticks' was last week's safeword!" *whip whip whip*
            Bottom: "Polevault?… Nurburgring?…Schenectady?… Guibo?"
            et cetera…

    4. Sjalabais Avatar
      Sjalabais

      Counting 7 negative thumbs and 5 moderating replies. Feels like you guys try to hug the evil out of here. Likable!

      1. jeepjeff Avatar
        jeepjeff

        Not sure about anyone else, but he left that opening just sitting there on a pedestal. I knew I had Rusty and Harrell to beat, at the very least, if I wanted to get my dig in.
        EDIT: And I'm not convinced that Phillip hadn't left that as a deliberate trap for a troll.

        1. mdharrell Avatar

          I knew right away that wasn't enough oil for it to be British.

          1. jeepjeff Avatar
            jeepjeff

            Yes, but did you know that speedy knew that you would know that he knew that you knew that?

          2. mdharrell Avatar

            I… uh… I still don't know that. I think.

  12. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    I hope it didn't all start when the filler cap was lost. Because then you can't wash a car. And when you can't wash a car, why care about…anything? Horrible machine, yet very fascinating.

  13. danleym Avatar
    danleym

    I don't know how old Phillip is, but if he's younger than 40 it's no surprise he couldn't recognize it. There's not a lot in the US, and unless you're an avid Toyota follower they're not the easiest to distinguish. I couldn't have told you what it was, who cares? Every day there is a car posted on here that I didn't know before, or at least that I'm not so intimiately familiar with that I could pick out a well worn and beaten example missing a bunch of trim.
    Oh, and generally, we frown on being an absolute prick around here, so kindly take that crap back to youtube.

  14. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick

    I have this image in my mind of the owner driving it with the driver side rear view mirror angled at the C-pillar.
    "Crap, it's on fire again…"
    The owner then casually pulls over, smacks the fire with a shop rag a few times, gets back in, and calmly drives on.

    1. mdharrell Avatar

      I've done that with MGB under-dash electrical fires. After the first couple of times I didn't even have to pull over.

      1. Vairship Avatar
        Vairship

        They usually extinguish themselves because Lucas won't let the electrons flow for long enough?

        1. mdharrell Avatar

          After the insulation burns/chars/melts itself far enough back from the trouble spot, it's harder to get it to reignite.

    1. mallthus Avatar
      mallthus

      <ouch>! Too soon?
      Nah….

    2. Vairship Avatar
      Vairship

      "Zere was a horrible fire in ze garage of zee hotel, and your car was…BURNT TO A CRISP! Mon dieu!"

  15. smokyburnout Avatar
    smokyburnout

    I've only ever seen one of these, but helpfully in my case the Corolla badge hadn't fallen off yet.
    <img src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Anl3CDRCIAAQogu.jpg"/&gt;

    1. POLAЯ Avatar
      POLAЯ

      Betcha it still runs!

      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        Let's jump it and find out!

    2. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      I wanna know more about that Johnny Lightning Thunderbird behind it!

      1. smokyburnout Avatar
        smokyburnout

        Well, um… It's an 87, it has the logo of Greased Lightning engine additive (Teflon like Slick 50) on it, it was in a police car specialist junkyard I went to a year ago last week.
        <img src="http://i.imgur.com/fSEK10y.png&quot; alt="" title="Hosted by imgur.com" />

        1. MVEilenstein Avatar
          MVEilenstein

          Sorry, not sure why I called it Johnny Lightning. It looks cool, though. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

        2. LTDScott Avatar

          No, that's an '89-'97 T-bird. Likely an '89 based on the window writing.

  16. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    I love that car. Not old Corollas in general, just that one. I want to keep it as a pet. I want to take it home and protect it. If it were a dog it would be named Quincy and would suffer badly from flatulence, but would be forgiven every time.

    1. POLAЯ Avatar
      POLAЯ

      I'd get it's shots first.

      1. phillipthomas25 Avatar
        phillipthomas25

        I think we're way past that point. This thing is diseased, but lovable.

        1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          mr. mzs zsm msz esq

          <img src="http://hooniverse.info/wp-content/gallery/ugliest-car-ever/img_0636.jpg&quot; width="500"> pant pant pant… WANNAPLAY? WANNAPLAY? WANNAPLAY? pant pant pant… COMEONLETS! COMEONLETS! COMEONLETS!

  17. muthalovin Avatar

    I was gonna say it's an NSX, but the trolls our out on this post for some reason, so I will go ahead and say it:
    Phillip, that is totally an NSX.

    1. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick

      It does have that meticulously hand-built look to it…

      1. muthalovin Avatar

        As stated above: the Texas sun is pretty harsh.

    2. phillipthomas25 Avatar
      phillipthomas25

      My first guess was Fiero with a bodykit, but I've been wrong before.

      1. themagicboltbox Avatar

        Just to bring this full circle, I'm pretty sure that's a Lambo, dude.

        1. dead_elvis Avatar

          Where's the pelican?

          1. muthalovin Avatar

            It died on top of the car. Violently.

    3. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Arrr, me be seeing wit me good eye what ye be doing 'ere ya skurvy dog ye!

  18. toxicavenger1 Avatar
    toxicavenger1

    We must not judge the book by the cover.

  19. Roberto G. Avatar
    Roberto G.

    What's on the roof? An unkempt lawn?

  20. marmer01 Avatar
    marmer01

    I was going to say Capri. Good thing I kept my stupid mouth shut. And I used to see old Corollas all the time, thirty years ago.

  21. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    It needs a good scrubbing, and a gas cap. But then, that would ruin the patina. So, never mind.

  22. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    I used to know an old guy (gearhead) that grew up in Chicago in the '30s, and he said as a kid, he would drop lit matches into filler necks. He said that nothing ever blew up; it would just flash the vapors, then extinguish when it hit the liquid. Was he just very lucky? By the way, he later went to the University of Chicago, and as an undergrad, helped build the pile under the bleachers there, for the first chain reaction.

  23. Vavon Avatar
    Vavon

    That was quite an entertaining read… We should do this again some time!
    I wonder what car this is, it looks like a Daf or maybe something British?
    <img src="http://farm1.staticflickr.com/179/401672409_bafd13a0a0_z.jpg"&gt;

    1. stigshift Avatar
      stigshift

      Look at the rear quarter panel. Dead giveaway. It's a '55 Thunderbird.

      1. mdharrell Avatar

        Oh, please. It's clearly an Eastern Trophies. Judging by the door trim, I'm going to say a '19.

    2. Stredda Avatar
      Stredda

      Number 19 is a Mitsubishi Colt 1100f. My old man had 2 of them. Never seen another one in the flesh again. Apparently bit of a rally car in their day. I drove it… it was horrible!

      1. Vavon Avatar
        Vavon

        YAY, we have a winner… I knew that… I found this picture on Flickr where it said Mitsubishi Colt!

        1. mdharrell Avatar

          Huh. I didn't know Mitsubishi Colts were British. Still, I guess that explains the RHD steering.

          1. Vavon Avatar
            Vavon

            They aren't British, a Colt is American, everybody knows that!
            <img src="http://assets3.indiemoviesonline.com/files/editorspics/Majors.jpg"&gt;

          2. mdharrell Avatar

            I must disagree. I have it on excellent authority that Lee Majors drives French cars:
            http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1qqlo_fast-mini

          3. Vavon Avatar
            Vavon

            BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

  24. somerandomguy Avatar
    somerandomguy

    Can't believe you guys are ragging on Tom's car!!
    Tom bought that thing for beans and has been driving it all over TX. He showed up to a bunch of races last year in an old Datsun 310. said he paind next to nothing for them, drives them until they're beyond dead, then grabs another cheap beater.
    Funniest thing is this guy owns a very well prepped GT3 car and also preps a Spec Racer Ford for a guy that always finishes up front..

    1. phillipthomas25 Avatar
      phillipthomas25

      I knew the internet would find the owner! Not ragging, fascinated that it's still here. This was at the SCCA Super Tour, the Formula-F cars were running.

    2. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      I really like Tom's car, I would guess most of us do. That photo I commented with makes it look really good too. I wonder, is it some gas tank vacuum type of issue that explains the shopping bags, or just that the cap was lost?

    3. mdharrell Avatar

      I believe for many of us this Corolla is more interesting than a GT3 and possibly a toss-up with a Spec Racer Ford. It's good to know that it's still on the road. Got any photos of the 310?

  25. Tiller188 Avatar
    Tiller188

    I can't help but feel like the ellipsis in that title needs to be moved slightly.
    Lookin' 'round the lot
    I can tell that that
    Is the most ugly car in the….lot.
    In the whole wide lot.
    (Although I realize now that if I read it as Jeremy Clarkson, the ellipsis is perfect where it is, so….toss-up.)

    1. phillipthomas25 Avatar
      phillipthomas25

      I was Clarkson-ing it.

  26. RichardKopf Avatar
    RichardKopf

    …But will it blend?

    1. topdeadcentre Avatar
      topdeadcentre

      It may not blend, but it'll probably shred just fine…
      [youtube eNvvSWEbuTs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNvvSWEbuTs youtube]

  27. nutzforautos Avatar
    nutzforautos

    Its a Krasmunt "Gundersnipe" XE 5. Very rare. Pop this up on eBay and the money will flow like a river!

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