Red Italian cars? How cliché. In many ways, the Alfa Romeo Brera is Italy’s answer to the Chevy Monte Carlo. Blasphemy! Maybe, but bear with me for a second: the fiery Latin coupe and the perennial “Official Ride of People of Wal-Mart” have a lot more in common. The Brera isn’t the fastest car in its class. It doesn’t handle well at all. It seats four in relative comfort—two in front who still enjoy full leg circulation, two in back reliving coal mine flashbacks. It’s a behemoth bit heavy: 32-3700lbs, depending on two- or four-wheel drive models. Which explains why it’s not the fastest, or well-handling. But it looks damn good, especially when it’s not red, and that’s all that matters.

The Brera was designed for lookin’ good, it will make your foo’ self look good, and it will make others wish they looked that good. The original Monte Carlo looked good, too. And say what you will about the cultural trendiness of matte paint being on par with “Who Let the Dogs Out?,” but paired with matching wheels in that wicked olive green, this particular Brera will make you look damn good, just like the marketers who created the “personal luxury coupe” want you to believe. And what’s more American than that?

[Image source: The Hooniverse Italy Mega-Gallery]