Parking 101: Don't Be a Jerk


I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little picky about parking. If at all possible, I prefer to straighten my wheels, position my car perfectly between the lines, and if I’m driving my truck, tuck in the mirrors and pull as far forward as I can. In fact, if I’m driving my truck and have the choice, I will usually park it well out of the way, where careless people are less likely to open their doors into mine.

With that in mind, when I came across this video, I had to laugh. I’ve lived in apartment complexes and worked in business parks where guys like this like to double park their cars for reasons known only to them. Even though this chap drives a Jaaaag, he’s still entitle to only one spot. Take the jump to watch the video, and see if you don’t get a chuckle, too. 

[youtube width=”720″][/youtube]

[Source: YouTube]


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31 responses to “Parking 101: Don't Be a Jerk”

  1. SSurfer321 Avatar

    Why didn't he park it tight to the island? That would have left over 5' to the adjacent car, assuming the adjacent car parked respectably between the lines.

    1. PushrodRWD Avatar

      Agreed. As someone that used to drive a mid-70's GM A-Body two-door every day you had to so that you could swing open the big door (the ashtry for the back seat is in the door). If you had a passenger park nose in, as close as you can so that it easier for them to get out or let them off and then back in. No reason to be a douche.

      1. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat Avatar
        C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

        I'm with you on the giant 2-door cars.
        I loves me 2-door land yachts, and I had to park the '73 Coupe deVille I used to own on a particular level of a parking garage because it was the only one which had spaces remotely close to large enough to get in/out.

  2. marcus Avatar

    That attempt to get in on the driver's side had to leave a huge ding in the side of the other car. d'bag.

  3. marmer01 Avatar

    A long, long time ago I was driving a Suburban and got to my assigned parking lot only to find that the only space remaining had two unauthorized cars over the lines on both sides, rendering it almost too narrow for a car. But I was pretty experienced with Burb-wrangling, so I carefully backed in between them, leaving about two inches between them and my truck on both sides. No way to open any of my doors. Did I mention I was driving a Suburban? I put the power rear window down and climbed out the back, then raised it with the key. At least one of the other jerks had to crawl over from the passenger side when they got to their ineptly parked car.

    1. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

      I did something like this at work once too, there were two spots let, right next to one another. The guy in front of me did one of the crappiest parking jobs I've ever seen. So I just waited for him to fix it. But after a while he just left and started to go in the tower. So I backed in, there was no room for me to open the doors. He noticed and walked back and just stood there staring at me. I was in the Golf and my plan was to exit the rear, but I was starting to get intimidated. Also I was suddenly unsure if I could open the hatch even from the inside. I thought I could pull up a bit, open the hatch, and then get back in and pull back to climb out, but I needed that guy to get lost first, cause I was getting really scared of him and his mustache. In the end I chickened-out and drove to the other lot, i had to park almost a mile away from my office, it really upset me, oh well. The worst is I see him sometimes and I think he remembers me too.

    2. chrystlubitshi Avatar

      I've done the same thing in every car i've owned with a flip down back seat. crawl through and close trunk.

    3. Alcology Avatar

      I've written this story on here before but it's relevant. I used to park at the subway station to go to school for a period of a couple weeks some chump would find me in the lot and park a couple inches away from my drivers side if they could so I couldn't open my door. This person just kept it up, no idea why. I would usually eat a banana on my drive there. I had finally had enough. I got back to my car and there it was again. I took a piece of banana peel that had been in my car all day and carefully shaped it to fit under the drivers side door handle of their car so that their fingers would just mush right in there when they opened the door. They retaliated the next day by wiping poop all over my drivers side door handle. Never happened again though.

  4. FreeMan Avatar

    They're giggling like a bunch of frat boys. It was nice to see at the end that they're somewhat hipster looking guys whom i might have expected to park liked that. Gives me hope for humanity.
    unfortunately, when i park nice & centered in my spot next to a moron like that, I've not yet had the satisfaction of coming back to find their car gone, knowing the contortions they would have had to go through.

  5. P161911 Avatar

    Once again the solution to parking problems, that can never be implemented by the general public, is to park with the left side wheels on the white line. If everybody did this all cars would be perfectly spaced. This is how cars are parked at the rail depot for shipping cars. If one person doesn't do this, then the whole thing is for naught.

    1. Batshitbox Avatar

      Except I back my full size long bed GMC into spaces because the front overhang is shorter than the rear overhang, thus less of my truck is hanging out into traffic. Following your plan next to someone nose in would put us mere inches apart. As it is even if I do land my wheels on one line or the other, the spaces are all merely 6" wider than my truck around here.

  6. Sjalabais Avatar

    This should be shown at driver's schools…had to watch without sound and it's a boring film, really. But I couldn't agree more about showing the Jag what proper parking looks like.
    Trying to correct others (especially in a passively harmful way) is not the nicest trait in a human personality, but given that I drive a POS Nissan full of scratches, I see myself as a natural community representative for passive parking correction (NCRPPC, if you like). One will never witness a fancy car driver commenting anyone's horrible parking with wheels on the ground.

  7. MVEilenstein Avatar

    For perspective, the Jag driver has apparently been parking like this intentionally for some time. I imagine he thought most people would avoid the extra spot, being afraid to scuff his fancy convertible.

    1. FreeMan Avatar

      I used to have a Caravan that had been hit & totaled, leaving the drivers side quite wrinkled behind the B pillar. I would have, daily, parked nose in, at a slight angle, just as the Jag was, but in the opposite direction. leaving me plenty of room to get out, but none for him. after his wrangling to get in, he would have still had a fair but of work to do to get out of the spot without hitting my D pillar. if he had, all he would have done to me is break another taillight… Might start staying late at the office those nights, too.

  8. ZomBee Racer Avatar

    A few years ago we went to meet the inlaws for dinner at a very popular Asian shopping center with a crowded parking lot, and every single space was taken. Except this one, which car after car had to pass up. Tiny wife's car with plastic doors FTW!
    I made sure to park EXACTLY in the center of our space.
    <img src=""&gt;

    1. marmer01 Avatar

      Yeah, that's pretty much what I parked the Suburban in. Power rear window, FTW.

      1. ZomBee Racer Avatar

        There's been a few times where I've crawled out the back window of this thing.
        It's not pretty.

  9. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

    My favorite parking set-up is where they use double lines to emphasize that you need space between cars. Doesn't always work.
    <img src="×420&quot; width="400">

    1. MVEilenstein Avatar

      The problem is most people don't park: they just stop driving after making a slow, sharp turn. It's a terrible habit formed by years of inattentive driving and not taking driving seriously.

      1. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

        Perhaps we're going about it the wrong way with the paint and what not.
        <img src="; width="400">

      2. FreeMan Avatar

        That is the most apt description of parking in the United States I think I've ever read. Well done!

  10. ptschett Avatar

    At work I sometimes am in a similar situation to the Toyota, backing in next to someone encroaching on "my" parking spot; especially in winter when a) I'm driving my Dakota, b) my neighbors have also switched to driving 4×4's and c) they've somehow acquired selective stripe blindness (the stripes are usually visible after snow clearing, if anyone bothers to look.) If the encroaching vehicle is of similar height and also backed in, my favorite passive-aggressive trick is to align my passenger mirror with their driver's mirror. If the encroaching neighbor to my right is parked nose-first I back in, right side to right side, for the smallest clearance that has me still reasonably centered in 'my' spot; if they have to fold their mirror or do special maneuvering to miss mine on their exit, that's not my problem.

  11. s.o.h.c. Avatar

    Looks like drunk parking to me.
    When I was a kid my mom and everyone else put there front tires against the curb or sidewalk or what ever there was that was convenient. People who drive full size 4x4s don't do that anymore.

  12. Maymar Avatar

    I, by virtue of driving a series of beaters, frequently do this. Thankfully pretty dent free still. On one occasion though, I managed to pull in directly after someone who was parked right on the line (or well into the next spot?). As I get out, she makes a comment about "how nice of me to park so close to her." I retort with a muttered "how nice of you to park so close to my spot," and wander off. Sure enough, when I come back later, her Murano is perfectly centred.

    1. Sjalabais Avatar

      There is this lady at work in her tiny blue Peugeot…she always ends up parking at an angle, with the car sticking out far from the spot and not even close to be centered. Quite often we arrive at the same time (also due to her driving being on a similar level with her parking; me being caught in the line of traffic behind her). Many, many times she has given me the death stare when I parked her in with one straight, centered swipe. We never talk, I just smile back at her happily. One day, a bright light will ignite above her head.

  13. Dan-O Avatar

    Back in my younger days, a parking job like this would be an invitation to decorate the offending car with a "pinstripe" done with a key down the entire side of the car.

    1. Dan-O Avatar

      I don't recommend doing this nowadays, with cameras in almost every single parking lot watching your every move.

  14. Ian Avatar

    I had a Vauxhall Coupe when I just started work at Rover , Oxford and had to park in the "Other Car Park" (Non Rover). I barely have enough money to run a car after being unemployed for a few months. Anyway within the first week of being there I had 2 idiots park so close to me the only way to get into the car was to either wait or open the liftgate and climb through the car , which i did. The doors were very long so there was no way I could open them anyway and they were the frameless type… So , On the way out I dropped the window and took a key to the side of the car next to me as I reversed. Then went back and keyed the other. I know I am an aerosole but I was young and somewhat annoyed trying to leave to get home for the weekend , which was 120 miles away.

    1. mdharrell Avatar

      Now I want to put up a sign for part of my driveway saying "Other Car Park (Non Rover)."
      I also want a Vauxhall, but that's nothing new.

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