Last Call: There's no "i" in Tire Edition

I have come to the realization that my knowledge of tire brands and models is sorely lacking. It’s also dawned on me that the idea of other companies jumping on the Apple i-something bandwagon is getting seriously tiring. Bring those two disparate elements together and you have my confusion/resignation at the sight of iMove® tires on a Tahoe sitting next to me at that gas station. It turns out that iMove® tires are actually a recently introduced model of tire from the Ironman® brand—which I’ve also never heard of—from Hercules Tires, which… yep you guessed it, is also new to me. Luckily, now iKnow.
Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day.  It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.
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34 responses to “Last Call: There's no "i" in Tire Edition”

  1. kogashiwa Avatar

    When I bought my IS300 the seller proudly stated it had brand-new tires on it. They were Hercules.
    Could put bowling balls on the axles instead for all the grip they have, in almost any conditions. Also not particularly quiet. And while most tires with these features at least attempt to redeem themselves by stubbornly refusing to wear out no matter how much you wish they would, these haven’t lasted especially long either.
    Get quality tires, people. They cost what they do because they’re worth it.

    1. LeaksOil Avatar

      I cringe whenever I see “just got tires!” Or similar in an ad. First thing I think is, well I’ll likely need to put a set of tires on it. I’ve wholesaled tires to used car dealers for their used cars. It’s always the absolute cheapest junk. The ONLY exception was a high-end dealer that primarily did used Lexus, Acura, Land Cruisers, stuff like that. They always specified Michelin or Bridgestone ONLY for the luxury brands. For non-lux brands (like a Honda Pilot) they would still want brand name. But just brand name. Something recognizable to a potential buyer.

      1. Kiefmo Avatar

        I put that in our ad for the van, but in our case, it was year-old Michelins, not Deebo’s Discount Rubbers.
        We don’t do cheap tires on our road trippin’ vehicles. My Merc, OTOH, never leaves town, and gets the finest budget Korean meats.

    2. Rover 1 Avatar
      Rover 1

      They’re not just round black things that stop the wheel rims scraping on the road, they’re pieces of high technology that keep your car on the road and improve your braking and wet weather traction.

    3. Sjalabais Avatar

      I used to just buy test winning tires. Over time, I found UniRoyal RainExpert tires to be perfect for our summer (sic!), and Nokian Hakkapeliitta best for winter tires. On the Camry I replaced an old set of Hakka 5 with test winning Continental IceContact 2-tires though, because the dealer didn’t have Hakka 8 at the time.
      I’ve never been so disappointed by new tires. They spin just as much as the old tires in our steep driveway, sideways support until the backend comes around is exactly the same as before. And would you believe that the new tire feeling of driving on rails in a straight line is missing, too? That were a wasted 800$ on a very reknown industry name. But we’ll have to drive them a while before changing again.

      1. William Thieme Avatar

        Tires for a Camry cost $800??
        I paid that much for Super Sports on my M3…

        1. nanoop Avatar

          25% VAT and the fact that the dude who’s swapping the tires has only that one job (and can afford both an apartment and a car from it) will do that.
          Service is expensive, and shipping is a service, too, so buying abroad and having it sent over won’t be cheaper, usually. Don’t ask how much a haircut is…

  2. Professor Bananahot Avatar
    Professor Bananahot

    Are tires like batteries now, where there’s hundreds of brands but they all come out of four factories?

    1. LeaksOil Avatar

      No. Some tire companies own/operate factories literally all over the world (Bridgestone, for example). Sometimes they contact out manufacturing like in other industries though. For the most part, Michelin makes their own, Goodyear, Bridgestone/Firestone, Kuhmo, etc make their own.
      In my own home state of Virginia they make Yokohamas and Goodyears.
      For private label? Yes. GITI Tire Corp makes a ton, Hercules makes a bunch, …

  3. LeaksOil Avatar

    They are a private label tire sold by a wholesaler that whole sale distributes them to tire retailers. This wholesaler also runs a consumer tire purchasing website, but honestly I’ve never checked to see if they sell them on there.
    The few times I’ve sold Ironmans to my customers and they ask what’s good about them, I simply state “their new, their black, round and mostly hold air.”
    /Manager at an automotive shop.

  4. spotarama Avatar

    you’re quite right, there is no I in tyre

    1. 0A5599 Avatar

      Because why?

      1. spotarama Avatar

        i’m getting tyred of having to explain this

        1. Lokki Avatar

          The reason that there’s no “I” in cheap tires is that vowels are expensive – ask Vanna White

          1. Vairship Avatar

            Ask the military, they might start another Operation Vowel Storm:

      2. William Thieme Avatar
  5. spotarama Avatar

    I have noticed since moving from one side of our fair city (left the immigrant heavy poverty stricken north and moved to the more anglo affluent east) that the auto cross section is completely different here, for some reason I see OLD VW’s every day, loads of kombi’s as well as bugs, the occasional morris minor, loads of old aussie iron and more SUV’s than you can shake a mulletted bogan at. the old locale used to be very heavy on the quotient of retired taxis (easy to spot, they’re all custard yellow with bright patches where the taxi company stickers used to be on the doors and look like they’ve done 400,000kms in 2 years)

    1. Alcology Avatar

      I wouldn’t go around shaking mulleted bogans if I were you. Unless you’re bigger than them.

      1. spotarama Avatar

        I am indeed bigger than most

    2. outback_ute Avatar

      I deduce that you are talking about Melbourne! The ex-taxis probably have more like 6-800,000km by the time they are retired.

  6. Desmo Avatar

    imove. itire. isleep.
    Sounds right to me.

  7. Alcology Avatar

    I just typed in hooni into my browser and it did not complete to Dear god, what has happened to me. My hard drive crashed, I got busy, I went on vacation and got to drive something different. Even my wife really liked the wrangler unlimited. I was sad for a moment and then I came back and everything was good again!
    While I was away I lent my 2015 Fiesta 1.0 to our friend watching the house and our dog and she drives a manual camry that she loves and seems pretty fun to drive. She got a huge crush on the Fiesta! Damn thing is fun to drive! Kamil, if you want to take it for a week, or weekend, I live in Brookline. It’s ended up with a carbon fiber hood thanks to some ice damage (carbon fiber was cheaper than OEM and covered by insurance) and a new horn. It’s also kinda dirty. I also might have forgotten about some chili I made and left under the seat for 2 weeks in the winter while running the seat heater. And it got rear ended by some goon backing up at a red light…. A red light. And was pummeled by hail last summer so has some dents on the roof. So basically, I’m saying drive it like you stole it and I’ll hand you the keys with a smile.

    1. Alcology Avatar

      Do not lend me your car. Or your books.

    2. Alcology Avatar

      13,500 miles.

  8. jeepjeff Avatar

    AtomicToasters interlude:
    I got to meet a hero today. A PDP-11/70 running BSD Unix. I even got to poke away at a serial terminal and explore the system.
    This was at the Living Computer Museum in Seattle, WA. So, toasterites (and others), check it out if you are up here. It’s essentially Paul Allen’s collection, but the machines run and you can use them. They also have a wide array of early microcomputers to play with. And you can get a remote account and make a virtual visit to use the machines from afar.

    1. Batshitbox Avatar

      My high school friend’s dad was a DEC electrical engineer. He kept a breadboard PDP-8 prototype on display in his house, it was about the size of a medium stereo speaker of the ’80s. Fascinating guy to hang out with, way more than my high school pal.
      After he retired, moved to Florida, and his wife passed away he sold everything and bought a pre-War Packard. After a lifetime on the cutting edge of electronics, he just wanted something he didn’t understand.

    2. Wayne Moyer Avatar
      Wayne Moyer

      Oh this is going to hurt.
      So I’m 44 and my mother was a computer operator. I remember the PDP’s. /sigh
      I also remember going to work with my mother and her doing system upgrades on DEC VAX’s. You know the “Mini” computers.

      1. outback_ute Avatar

        An old relative told me about when she was studying accountancy at university in the late 40’s, and how they would use the computer overnight. I don’t know what sort it was, but it was the take-up-a-whole-floor-of-the-building-type.

    3. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      My alma matter had three VAX servers, 2 8600s and a PDP-11, although I think the PDP was relegated to just handling e-mail traffic by the time I was there (’88-’91). Aaaand, there was a VT-102 terminal in EVERY DORM ROOM! (This was a big effin’ deal, and a nationwide first for a state university at the time). I am pretty sure I was the last human to become proficient in Digital Command Language. You can’t see it in this photo, but my roommate is typing on our terminal, which we put up in our loft lounge.

  9. Maymar Avatar

    Went to the car show tonight – the most exciting thing for me was still a 25 year old Porsche dressed up like a 45 year old Porsche that costs more than my condo. Also, the old money pairing of the Volvo V90 and Mercedes E400 wagon.
    I’m really disappointed by the Lincoln Continental though – it’s so close to greatness (for what it is), but it’s a tough sell immediately after sitting in the Benz, which does a lot of the tiny touchy pieces so very similar to the Lincoln, but feels more expensive.

  10. Alff Avatar

    Aren’t all of the above Cooper brands?

    1. GTXcellent Avatar

      I believe it’s a corporate “partnership” but Cooper and Hercules are still independent companies. (I’ve been wrong many, many times before though, so take my knowledge – or lack thereof – with a big grain of salt)

  11. dukeisduke Avatar

    Yeah, Hercules has been around forever. We had a set (bias plies) on our ’66 American for awhile. The local Enco station where my mom usually bought tires sold Hercules (and Atlas, which was a brand a lot of Enco stations sold).

  12. Mason Avatar

    How many lawsuits and deaths before we got tires we could count on ?

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