Last Call: Rolling in Rubles Edition

I’m just going to leave this picture here, that of an Azerbaijani teen’s birthday present made up of a Bentley and lots of American cash, as a reminder that life isn’t fair. Okay, now that we’ve lamented life’s inequities, let’s remember that it’s hump day and the weekend is almost upon us. Fair enough?
Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day. It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged. 
Image: English Russia

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  1. I_Borgward Avatar

    Or, a Daihatsu Charade with three bald tires and an ashtray full of cigarette butts. It’s the thought that counts, right?

  2. Fuhrman16 Avatar

    I just found out that Bridgestone once made motorcycles. There’s three of them coming up for sale locally.

    1. wunno sev Avatar
      wunno sev

      they made bicycles, too! i have a Bridgestone that i used to have set up as The World’s Cheapest Fixie, with a saddle that made my penis completely unusable for a full day after just an hour or two of riding. not a fancy frame, but it’s got very nice candy-red paint.
      i’m fixin’ to rebuild it with the ten-speed drivetrain from my other obscure-manufacturer old-ass bike, a Panasonic. and also i’m going to swap the saddle over.

      1. roguetoaster Avatar

        So, you made a contraceptive device, and then abandoned the rubber tie in, only to move over to a maker of microwaves. Interesting..

      2. Alff Avatar

        If you ride a fixie, you don’t need a penis anyway.

        1. wunno sev Avatar
          wunno sev

          aw, come on now. they’re fun.

          1. Texlenin Avatar

            Come over to the recumbent side…..

      3. stigshift Avatar

        I have an old ’60s British Foremost with ’80s Fuji ten speed running gear. Love it. And it causes no penile disability, which I consider a plus.

      4. Batshitbox Avatar

        I’ve been there (I think I am there) riding the world’s cheapest formerly high end (single speed), with a numb chubbie.

      5. PotbellyJoe★★★★★ Avatar

        The Bridgestone bikes have some market still. The frames were really good. As for the rest of it, well, you have to get parts that fit your needs…

        1. wunno sev Avatar
          wunno sev

          the parts that fit my parts!
          it is a very pretty frame. straight-gauge lugged chromoly, sparkly red paint. the paint has a depth to it that i haven’t seen on another bike. paid $25 for it in chicago, deal of the century.
          the saddle from the panasonic is a $15 cheap-bike-store special that i can ride all day with no discomfort of any sort. haven’t found another that fits me so well. i threw the Dick Tingler off the bridgestone away a long time ago.

    2. Batshitbox Avatar

      I never knew about the Bridgestone motorcycles. I do remember seeing the Cannondale motorcycles in the shops back in the ’90s. They fell victim to Cannondale’s policy of reinventing every single thing EXCEPT the wheel.×300.jpg

    3. dead_elvis Avatar

      I had a Bridgestone 350 GTR 25 years ago. Never could get everything running right all together for too long, but when things worked as they should, it was a rorty little beast. It had been pretty well used & abused before I got it, and as an extremely green mechanic, the Bridgestone needed more expertise than I could provide. Parts & good info were hard to come by in those barely-wired days.

      1. dr zero Avatar
        dr zero

        I had a Bridgestone too, but the smaller 100cc model. It was a freebie my dad got from a co-worker, but it needed too much work for my limited skills and got passed on again.

  3. Rover 1 Avatar
    Rover 1

    ” life isn’t fair.”
    Then you die.
    That is all.

    1. roguetoaster Avatar

      Wait a minute, sometimes you die filthy rich, other times absolutely destitute, so there is that outcome to look forward to. Happy days!

      1. Rover 1 Avatar
        Rover 1

        Oh you’re right.
        Grumpy because I started the day without brefass scotch.

        1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

          Daily fail #1.

  4. Jeepster Avatar

    All I had was a measly firebird, wear it out boy – as if there is no tomorrow.

  5. mve Avatar

    Bernie Ecclestone knows his target audience.

  6. stigshift Avatar

    My first car was a ’67 Pontiac Ventura 2 door hardtop. Metallic turquoise with a white painted roof and a turquoise metallic Morrokide interior. I still remember that car from 1979, when I bought it. This kid won’t have that car for even a year, and ten years from now won’t be able to remember his first car. I win.

  7. Alff Avatar

    With that cash he can buy some sweet Pep Boys mods.

  8. Batshitbox Avatar

    Life is very fair; I’m only partway through it and I’m starting to see a trend. Based on empirical evidence it’s by-and-large fair. Otherwise the universe wouldn’t exist, right?
    There’s some hoon out there enjoying the crap out of a ’74 Gold Duster, and another with a troublesome ’65 Land Rover, and some poor unfortunate with a ’91 Dodge Spirit; They’re all thinking, “Maybe I got dealt a mixed hand, but fuck if I’m not going to get the most out of this short of killing myself.”
    Ain’t that money in the bank?

  9. Sjalabais Avatar

    The biggest gift from my parents ever was also car-related: ~500$ so that I could pay for my 1200$ driver’s license. That was the minimum hour price, so I got lucky.

  10. Batshitbox Avatar

    Craigslist was requiring ‘phone verification’ (really, my phone number verifies me?) before I could post this awesome giveaway, which I frankly wrote just to amuse you hoons… So here’s the text, I’m sure it will go to a good home.
    1987 Honda Elite 50S, never titled, 3500mi (bayview)
    1987 Honda Elite 50S
    engine displacement (CC): 499
    fuel: gas
    odometer: 3
    paint color: purple
    title status: lien
    transmission: automatic
    safety tips
    prohibited items
    product recalls
    avoiding scams
    The Good:
    Starts on the first kick if you ride it every day.
    Starts on the 14th or 15th kick after sitting for 12 or 18 months, or 20
    years, whatever, it’s a Honda. Honda Badger don’t give a shit; Honda
    badger woke up from a 20 year coma and just ruled it.
    Low mileage. 3500. Serious.
    Free. $0.00
    DMV has no record of this scooter.
    The Bad:
    DMV has no record of this scooter. If you want to ride on the road you
    will have to do a lien sale. I’ve confirmed this with the DMV, they have
    absolutely no record of this scooter. Ever . At all. For all their 10
    years of record keeping. (Or just ride around with no plate, turn some
    brodies on the Embarcadero and hold up a bank; SFPD has a long standing
    ‘do-not-pursue’ policy for unlicensed 2-wheeled vehicles.)
    Hidden VIN. No one can find the VIN on this scooter. The nice man from
    the DMV and I took the body panels off, and looked at the steer tube,
    and the rest of the frame, and consulted the internet, but goddamned if
    either of us could find a VIN that would satisfy the DMV. Lotsa numbers
    on this bike; federal import number, engine/drivetrain number… No VIN,
    as far as we could tell.
    Rode hard and put up wet. Rotted tires. The tires date back to the
    Reagan administration, and we pretty much thrashed them as much as we
    would have done Ronald Reagan (for 3000 miles!), given the chance.
    Anyway, they don’t hold pressure, and the sidewalls are shredded.
    Frozen brake cable. Not sure if frozen brake-on or brake-off but it’s
    definitely the one on the left handlebar. The one on the right’s a
    dream, if you’re dreaming about stopping.
    Anyway… It will be on the curb with the motor running at about 8:15
    Thursday morning when I go out to move my car for street cleaning.

  11. neight428 Avatar

    He probably needed new wheel bearings and brakes, that’s just the deposit to order the parts.

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