Last Call – Roads? Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Roads Edition


Dude, your boat’s back there. . . and your colonic is just up ahead.
Image source: [Imgur.com]

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  1. FЯeeMan Avatar
    FЯeeMan

    one dip of a heel is gonna lead to a face full of lake. Wish I was there to see it! 🙂

  2. Feds_II Avatar
    Feds_II

    While unusual to the other cottagers on the lake, for Brett boat-less jetski-ing was a natural extension of his baked bean and cabbage breakfast ritual.

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      Irregardless of what I say, nothing will make me giggle as much as that did.

  3. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    "Nah brah, training for the luge in the summer isn't SOOO hard. The real trick is keeping your hair dry."

  4. Van Sarockin Avatar
    Van Sarockin

    Power by Chili's.

  5. Foolish Avatar
    Foolish

    I think I'm with FЯeeMan on this one: in about 0.5 seconds, this is going to hurt!
    That said, a friend of mine was once foolish enough to taunt my sister about the "wussie" ride he had on the tube she was pulling behind the boat. His next ride included a right-left change of direction that launched him bodily off of said tube at such a rate of speed that we actually watched him skip twice, with a shocked look on his face, across the surface of the lake like a smooth stone, before catching a hand or foot and crashing hard!
    Even on the lake, some days are better than others.

    1. njhoon Avatar
      njhoon

      That is similar to how I dislocated my hip when I was 14. I was water skiing, the boat driver was being a jerk, spictacular wipe out….POP! I was told they could hear my yell over the engine.

    2. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      Only two skips, she wasn't trying too hard. I think 4 skips was my record when pulling tubers.

  6. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    Hahahahahahah!
    I grew up waterskiing/wakeboarding/barefooting. There's a picture of me in my high school yearbook, barefooting on one foot, with the other in the handle and my hands behind my head.
    Those suits are heavily padded, right where you'd like them to be so that this actually works just fine…comfy, even. That said, catching a toe and hitting the water with your face at about 38 mph is a great way to start your morning.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar
      FЯeeMan

      "Great" as in "Great way to start a morning at the hospital"?

      1. zsm Avatar
        zsm

        Nah, I've been told it's a great way to clear your head at the start of the day and that nothing drains your sinuses quite like a face full of lake at thirty-some MPH.

    2. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      I remember reading a Waverunner warning one time that said to always wear a wet suit to avoid "orifice injury"

      1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

        You know, that's about my least favourite injury short of "appendage shortening".

      2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        And that's not just legalese…you'd be well advised to heed that warning! I don't EVER get on our PWCs without at least 2mm of neoprene wrapped around my "lower orifices."
        "Christine Thomas, 21…was riding as a passenger when she slid backward off the rear of the seat, fell into the jet propulsion flow and received lower body and internal injuries from the blast of water…[that] left her hospitalized for two weeks, using a colostomy bag for several months and unable to bear children except by Caesarian section. She is also badly scarred."
        The whole ugly story about the lawsuit that resulted is here: http://www.dealernews.com/dealernews/article/arti

      3. Feds_II Avatar
        Feds_II

        Actually know a girl who this happened to. Stitches in uncomfortable places, NOT like the back of a Volkswagen.