Last Call- Rental Car Blues Edition

Rio is a city of contrasts; displays of great wealth mingle. With abject poverty; expressions of sexuality and decadence in a country that’s predominantly catholic.
The Kia Rio is none of these things, and only exists as expression of what you get when you pick the lowest-priced rental car agency.

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  1. Maymar Avatar

    I have an Accent, but it doesn't make me sound more interesting or sexy. It's grey and dull.

  2. Maymar Avatar

    Sebring and Bonneville aren't so bad, being places in Florida and Utah. If we're honest, the Sebring convertible is practically the official state car of Florida, and the Bonneville was always great at dealing with big flat places with limited corners.

    1. Target29 Avatar

      My first thought when I think of Bonneville is not connected to the Pontiac, but rather with my best friends brothers Triumph Bonneville special.

  3. CptSevere Avatar

    Kia also makes a Sedona, named after an Arizona town full of crystal worshiping New Age types who suffocate in sweat lodges after paying like ten grand for the privelege. Sedona is known for it's Vortices of Power. A Kia Sedona might be a nice little SUV, but will probably never be known as a vortex of power. And, anyone who buys a Kia probably can't afford to give ten grand to some charlatan in exchange for participation in phony Indian purification ceremonies.

  4. Alff Avatar

    You may want to see someone about those seizures.

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      The Matrix reset itself. A few times.

  5. BGW, Capt (Ret.) Avatar

    My only experience with Kia thus far was about 8-9 years ago when 4 of us took a road trip in a rental Sephia. Did I mention that our respective heights were 5'11, 5'11, 6'2 and 6'4? Never mind the dubious build quality or treacherous rental-car condition- there was barely enough room in the backseat for the cooler…

    1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

      The taller folks sat in the front, right? That's the only moral way to go about it.

      1. BGW Avatar

        Half and half. I'm the 6'2" and I sat in the back…behind the 6'4".
        Hence the need for the cooler, y'see.

        1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

          Hence the need to get out of the car every 50 miles, y'see. Or so I'd assume… I'm truly sorry for you.

  6. P161911 Avatar

    About 5 years ago I took a business trip to Southern California. My wife went along and I took a couple of days vacation when business was finished. The first couple of days the company paid for the rental car. I got a Hyundai smallish mid-size of some sort. Decent enough for a rental car, it had a V-6, decent power, lots of chrome and glossy fake wood on the inside, and some sort of quasi-slap shifter. I turned in the Hyundai and got the even cheaper rental car, from a different company, that I was paying for. It was a Kia smallish mid-size of some sort, I think I got a size upgrade because the really cheap one was out of stock. As soon as I got in it I realized it was the exact same car, but with acres of cheap plastic, a buzzy little 4 banger, and a decidedly overall cheap feel.

  7. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    Ka Ka Ka Kia!

  8. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    Wow, what wiped out my points?

    1. P161911 Avatar

      Mine too. Looks like Engineerd's are gone too.
      Also, the whole double, triple, and quad posting thing has been happening, because it will come back that you submission failed, when it didn't

      1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

        Looking in the other posts, everyone with new comments got wiped out. I think the IntenseDebate gerbils have died.

  9. engineerd Avatar

    I was in Florida all last summer for work. My first rental car was a Nissan Altima 2.5. Nice car, had a brake issue, took it back two days later. My next car was a Toyota Camry. Everything you've heard about the Camry being dull, numb, ugly and hateful is true. I thought it might be a bit of hyperbole. It's not. I suffered with that for 2 weeks then I couldn't take it any more. I took it back and they gave me a Lexus RX350. It was comfortable, and slightly less numb than the Camry, but still afflicted with the Toyota appliance approach to design. My last car was a Honda Accord. It was more fun to drive, but the peaky 4-banger coupled to an auto trans made it annoying (and sometimes scary) to drive.
    I also went to a wedding last summer in Minnesota and had to pay for a rental car myself. I got an "intermediate" car from Budget. It was a Hyundai Elantra. Brand new. I was more impressed with it than I was with the Lexus. That was a damn nice car for the money.
    So, what did I learn? Toyota sucks the life out of you. Honda is fun but dangerous in a not-so-fun-way. Hyundai embodies what budget cars should be.

    1. engineerd Avatar

      Did someone steal all my points? I was going to use them to buy a subscription to Men's Health!

      1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

        yes, I stole them to buy a Marlboro beach towel.

        1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
          Jeff Glucker

          interesting… my points are gone as well.

  10. Deartháir Avatar

    On the other hand, my old Buick Century was quite appropriately named; it described the age of the average Buick driver.

  11. Deartháir Avatar

    I'd also just like to point out that I still have my points. Clearly I didn't piss off some Editor, causing him to wipe out all your points in a fit of malice.

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      There was the last straw apparently…

      1. Deartháir Avatar

        Apparently. It's like Darth Vader's force-choke. Nobody is immune.

  12. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    I think CptSevere is our new points leader…

  13. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    I know Kia of even just a couple of years ago was not that great… however, they have jumped light years ahead with the Soul, Forte, and Forte Koup… The Borrego is actually a solid SUV that reminds me of the original Explorer (Boxy, useful, and drives like a truck) but with better amenities.
    Kia is moving in the right direction… away from the rio.

  14. muthalovin Avatar

    Honeymoon. September. San Fransisco and Napa and Sonoma Valleys. Rented Chevy Malibu. Highway 1 after dark. I pushed it into a corner and lo and behold, a deer! In my lane! Fortunately, the 4 cylinder Malibu is frightening to turn in very fast, so I was able to stop a good 5 yard from said deer.
    Driving Highway 1 is fantastic at any speed, I came to realize. Thanks to my Chevy Malibu, I got too slow down and appreciate life on the highway, not just the next bend. If I would have gotten the V6 Mustang that I originally wanted, I am sure I would have killed all 3 of us that night.

  15. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    You could probably buy 2 1964 Ford Falcons for the price of a new Kia Rio.

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