Last Call- Pluses and Minuses Edition


Car batteries, much like guns, can be kind of a scary thing. Treated with respect they’ll start your car, light your lights, and will fill your ears with Skrillex dropping the beat. In the wrong hands however – say someone who would drive a Jeep Patriot – their true nature can come out.

Image source: Imgur

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41 responses to “Last Call- Pluses and Minuses Edition”

  1. FrankTCat Avatar

    That'll buff right out.

  2. Devin Avatar

    I know not everyone's going to go for the facelift on that Patriot, but I think it's a pretty big improvement.

    1. dukeisduke Avatar

      Sadly, nothing can be done for the Compass.

        1. dukeisduke Avatar

          The greenhouse still reminds me of a late '50s Rambler station wagon, or some weird Renault.

          1. Bud Grayling Avatar
            Bud Grayling

            Or a 2013 Toyota RAV-4.
            2007 Compass looked better than the 2013.

          2. BobWellington Avatar

            I could see that if you're blind.

          3. Devin Avatar

            From behind the wheel, the greenhouse reminds me of this:
            <img src="; width="500">

          4. ptschett Avatar

            I'm reading that as: the greenhouse isn't a flaw, it's a feature!

  3. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
    Dean Bigglesworth

    Looks like things got electric…

    1. Alcology Avatar

      Yep, I'd set my car on fire too if that cd got stuck in there.

      1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
        Dean Bigglesworth


  4. stigshift Avatar

    Thankfully, the first time I had to jump start my '69 MGB, back in high school, my inherent distrust of Lucas electrics led me to correctly suspect that the negative cable should go on one 6v battery, and the positive on the other. Of course rust killed the car shortly afterwards, but at least it didn't die in an embarrassing electrical fire.

    1. Batshitbox Avatar

      My Land Rover was what the Brits call "Positive Earth" which means that the whole electric system starts at the negative terminal and ends at the positive. I could never quite wrap my head around what this might mean during a jump start (theoretically, nothing) and simply vowed never to jump with it.

      1. JamesJamerson Avatar

        Easy solution: attach both cables to the correct terminal on the battery.
        Advance solution: negative goes to the battery, positive goes to the frame.

  5. JayP2112 Avatar


  6. B72 Avatar

    That's a pretty serious oops. I hope no one got hurt.

  7. Maxichamp Avatar

    OT: I found a 2-owner 1995 Lexus SC300 MT. It's got 220k+ miles. Is that too high for comfort?

    1. FrankTCat Avatar

      It's a 90's Toyota. I don't think you have much to worry about if the PO's weren't ninnies.

      1. Maxichamp Avatar

        What's a "PO"?
        Previous owner?

        1. FrankTCat Avatar

          Yes indeed.

    2. PotbellyJoe Avatar

      If the engine dies, just put in a Supra 2JZ-GTE in there.

    3. craymor Avatar

      I bought a 90 lexus ls400 with 425,000 on it, drove it for 30K and then sold it for roughly what I paid for it. it's a f*cking 90's lexus, it can go forever if's it's the right price, I wouldn't worry about it one bit. just make sure it's up to date on the maintenance, check the bushings and joints in the front suspension esp…

  8. POLAЯ Avatar

    ( •_•) I guess you could say it's been
    ( •_•)>⌐■-■ expatriated!

  9. $kaycog Avatar

    Somebody should have accentuated the positive and eliminated the negative.

    1. PotbellyJoe Avatar

      Feel fortunate there are no laws against puns. They'd have more than enough ground to charge you…

      1. $kaycog Avatar

        Somebody would have to have great power to do that.

        1. PotbellyJoe Avatar

          Thank god for democracy. I just can't see a thug like that getting enough volts.

          1. $kaycog Avatar

            If somebody does charge me, they'll have to chase me down the Interstate to catch me.

          2. PotbellyJoe Avatar

            I would suggest you go into hiding should it happen. And try to find a better place than behind a large Coulomb.

          3. $kaycog Avatar

            They'll have their hands full, as I'm a real DieHard.

          4. Alff Avatar

            In that case, they'd just add a battery charge.

          5. $kaycog Avatar

            I'll just have to be very careful so that I don't end up in a jail cell.

          6. Devin Avatar

            You'll have to be EverReady to ensure that doesn't happen.

          7. $kaycog Avatar

            Anode exactly what you mean.

          8. PotbellyJoe Avatar

            It's great that you Anion the same page.

          9. $kaycog Avatar

            I don't like to jump around because I like the togetherness.

  10. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    I'm generally pretty knowledgeable when it comes to cars, and something as mundane as jump starting has almost gotten me once. I was a bit too confident, and didn't bother checking the terminals on the battery while jump starting a Mercury Tracer from the early '90s. Both cables were black, yet, the negative cable had on its terminal a red clip, causing me to incorrectly assume that it was the positive lead. Fortunately, I was attentive, and as the cables heated up, I examined the battery more closely, and found my error before something similar to the above picture ensued. It was still rather humbling.

  11. joedunlap Avatar

    Shouldn't this article have been labeled, "Jump Start- you're doing it wrong edition."?

  12. joedunlap Avatar

    And obviously Chrysler has made the choice to use much cheaper and more highly flammable plastics than VW. Sigh, when are they going to learn…..

  13. jeepjeff Avatar

    There are off-roaders who carry arc welding rods with them on the trail. Two car batteries in series will provide enough juice for a few quick welds. Car batteries aren't a joke. Also, remember, they're filled with sulfuric acid. That smoke must have been spicy.

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