Last Call: Hunk or Junk Edition

Here is a shirtless Clint Eastwood leaning over an open tool roll and contemplating the intricacies of a 1958 Jaguar XK150. That can only mean it’s time for a caption contest!
Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day.  It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.
Image: Imgur


  1. Screw this. If I can get it to start, I’m going straight to the Ford dealer for a Gran Torino.

  2. “It’s a hell of a thing, buyin’ an old Jaguar. You take away everything he’s got, and all he’s ever gonna have.” (with apologies to Unforgiven – 1992)
    “Ever notice how you come across something once in a while you shouldn’t have messed with? That’s this Jag.” (with apologies the Gran Torino – 2008)
    “You see, in this world there’s two kinds of people, my friend: Those with reliable cars, and those with Jags. You own a Jag.” (with apologies to The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly – 1967)
    “Now remember, things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. ‘Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That’s just the way it is.” (actual quote from The Outlaw Josie Wales – 1976)
    “I know what you’re thinking. “Did he put in six quarts or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a 1958 Jaguar XK150, the most complicated car in the world, and would blow its head gasket clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?” (with apologies to Dirty Harry – 1971)
    “Jaguar XK150 and me. Go ahead, make my day.” (with apologies to Sudden Impact – 1983)
    “I’m not afraid of any man, but when it comes to rebuilding this engine, my stomach turns to royal gelatin.” (with apologies to Every Which Way But Loose – 1978)
    “Well, if you’re waitin’ for this engine to turn over, you may have a long wait.” (with apologies to Pale Rider – 1985)

  3. Last time I changed my oil, I stained my shirt.

    Well, that’s not going to happen this time!

  4. Someday I’m going to be mayor of a city where people will come from all around to show off their beautifully restored classic Jaguars and I’ll never have to worry about turning a wrench on a broken dow one again.

  5. There’s two kinds of people; them goin’ somewhere, and the them goin’ nowhere. And that’s what true…”

  6. Or, ” The owner in Black fled across the Desert, and the Mechanic’s Lien followed…..”

  7. Or…”I was just reciting the Shepard’s prayer. Alan Shepard’s prayer: Oh Lord, don’t let us screw up. Amen.”

  8. Or..(I love doing this) “This is a Jag-u-ar XK150 drophead coo-pey, the preferred vehicle of our NATO allies. It makes a distinctive sound when broken, so remember it.”

    1. There’s a place in Richmond up the river from there where the same thing happens. When I was there it was a Rover SD1 floating.

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