Last Call- Hooniverse Announcement Edition

Robert Emslie
49

Comments

Porniverse

Hooniverse has been carving out a niche among the Internet’s car blogs for years now, and while we don’t feel that it has grown stale in any way, we have decided that its time to start carving out other kinds of niches. Because of that we are announcing that, effective tomorrow morning, Hooniverse will be changing to Porniverse.com.*

That’s right, in conjunction with venerable and respected print publication, Oui magazine, we are melding our love for all things cars and trucks with hard core porn. Sure, we’ll still feature cars, reviews, and how-tos, they’ll just now come with lots and lots of full-frontal. And you can bet that the Hooniverse crew will be getting in on the act. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see someone named olelongrooffan’s ole long. . . well, you know.

You’ll still find all your favorite posts – Porniverse Demands, Monday Porn Video, and of course the Porniverse Nudes to keep you abreast of the latest in car-porn events. We’re confident that you will all find the all new Porniverse just as warm and welcoming as you did the Hoon. After all, who doesn’t like a mix of JEGS and jugs?

So, join us tomorrow morning to kick off the all-new Porniverse, the newest and most radical mashup of SBC and STD on the Web.

*Monthly paywall cost $17.99 – group discounts available. NSFW, obviously.

Image source: Porniverse.com

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Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

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49 responses to “Last Call- Hooniverse Announcement Edition”

  1. stigshift Avatar
    stigshift

    Well played, hoons. Well played indeed. The tie in to Rick Ghastly was beautiful.

    Reply
  2. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    Too funny! I'm curious about the group discount.

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      As one of the few female regulars, I'm not sure you're prepared for all that entails

      Reply
      1. BAMacPherson Avatar
        BAMacPherson

        Go on….

        Reply
    2. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar
      BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

      I'm not to curious about the group though, I suspect there are too many men involved. On the other hand $kay………lingerie……uhmmm.

      Reply
      1. Devin Avatar
        Devin

        <img src="http://chuck.svaha.com/Sausage2002/images/carnylogo.jpg"&gt;

        Reply
      2. $kaycog Avatar
        $kaycog

        Lingerie would be in Undiesverse.com.

        Reply
        1. JayP2112 Avatar
          JayP2112

          FYI- that URL isn't working…

          Reply
  3. smalleyxb122 Avatar
    smalleyxb122

    I am all about the group discount! Who's in with me?

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      If it's a choice between you and biggiexb122, I suppose you're the lesser of evils.

      Reply
      1. Vairship Avatar
        Vairship

        And an order of magnitude better than biggieavalon…

        Reply
  4. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick ★

    "Hmmm, nice color interior. I wonder what kind of car it is… The seats look kinda Audi or Mercedes-esque. That door trim kinda looks like a BMW… Why do I have an erection..?"

    Reply
    1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

      Mercedes cabrio. You figure out which one, I have a pressing matter that needs attending.

      Reply
      1. Kamil_K Avatar
        Kamil_K

        Not sure that it's a cabrio. Cabrios have longer doors, these are shorter doors, as on a sedan… so I'm thinking that it's a sedan with an open sunroof.
        But it maybe an SLK too, which is short… and those are sporty seats and have those holes for AirScarf(r).

        Reply
        1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
          Dean Bigglesworth

          The airscarf and shadow on the drivers door made me think cabrio. I'd say it's an R230 SL. The door panel and seats match, no airscarf or paddle shifters on this though. Finding a picture of an identical car is impossible, it seems SL-owners are not that big on this internet thing.
          <img src="http://newmercedesdenver.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/2012-SL-Class-SL550-Roadster-Gallery-011_GOI.jpg&quot; &lt;="" img="" width="600">
          link in case the embed does not work. http://newmercedesdenver.com/wp-content/uploads/2…

          Reply
    2. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      There is a car?

      Reply
    3. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      You have a boner cause it's a Crossfire 😉

      Reply
  5. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    Looking forward to more stories about things that have been bored and stroked.

    Reply
  6. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    Craigslist Crapshoot should be entertaining.

    Reply
  7. ZomBee Racer Avatar
    ZomBee Racer

    (Say's to self… "Do not click… DO NOT CLICK…")
    […click…]
    [facedesk]

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      Says my 9 year old daughter (who has never seen that) … "Did they have autotune back then? He has an amazingly deep voice for such a little guy."

      Reply
    2. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

      Check out this adblock add-on which blocks all videos containing Astley.

      Reply
  8. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    How about a matchmaking page? Here's my ad…
    "Tri-curious Hoon seeks more experienced partner to synchronize with"
    <img src="http://datsun-240z-blog.viczcar.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/triple-sk-carbs.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. stigshift Avatar
      stigshift

      Do you know how much beer hurts when it comes out of your nose? Well, I do. Now.

      Reply
    2. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      You end up with a Brit.
      Guaranteed.

      Reply
      1. OA5599 Avatar
        OA5599

        Not necessarily. Holley will Tri just about anything.
        <img src="http://carburetor-manual.com/images/holley tri-power.JPG">

        Reply
      2. sporty88au Avatar
        sporty88au

        He could also end up with an Aussie Mopar fan

        Reply
    3. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      That was hilarious!

      Reply
  9. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    I don't think Porniverse is a good idea after all. My greatest fear is that all you guys will go blind.

    Reply
    1. stigshift Avatar
      stigshift

      Not yet, but I do need glasses now. Not sure if there's an actual correlation…

      Reply
    2. Devin Avatar
      Devin

      Ernest Borgnine could see well into his 90s.

      Reply
    3. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      As good ol' dad said-
      "I'll risk an eye on it."

      Reply
    4. OA5599 Avatar
      OA5599

      <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc0u3bCCv31qax0nso1_400.png"&gt;
      Also: NSFW
      <a href="http://denverfrank.weebly.com/uploads/8/7/4/0/874044/9544634.jpg?455×682” target=”_blank”>http://denverfrank.weebly.com/uploads/8/7/4/0/874044/9544634.jpg?455×682

      Reply
    5. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      <img src="http://www.feroniaproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/EDUCATION_20120313125430.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
  10. imaragtopman Avatar
    imaragtopman

    C'mon…one of the reasons I enjoy going to Hooniverse every day is that I don't have to deal with this kind of junk (unlike J*l*pkn*k). Let's stay focused on the cars. Aren't cars cool enough?

    Reply
    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      <img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b_qduvepXnA/TZU7-2qs0PI/AAAAAAAABc0/L1_S8LNpZr4/s1600/april1.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
    2. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      Kindly, when referring to "Redacted", use the term "Redacted"… 🙂

      Reply
  11. imaragtopman Avatar
    imaragtopman

    BTW I know it's an April fool…

    Reply
    1. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar
      BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

      <img src="http://i649.photobucket.com/albums/uu216/spawn_cte/Art%20Work/CupofShutUp.jpg&quot; width="450">

      Reply
      1. racer139 Avatar
        racer139

        Thank you. And he says btw I know its april fools.

        Reply
    2. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      April Fool?
      Crap… I was all ready to get my "rightclick-saveas" on…

      Reply
      1. Sjalabais Avatar
        Sjalabais

        All that warming up for nothing?

        Reply
  12. TurboBrick Avatar
    TurboBrick

    Porniverse? Did you guys have Antti do a feature for that site too while he was in Amsterdam?

    Reply
  13. topdeadcentre Avatar
    topdeadcentre

    What's that bit of fluff doing in front of that gorgeous red leather interior? Is there some way to get it out of the way of the lens?

    Reply
  14. OA5599 Avatar
    OA5599

    RIP Autobuff. The greatest car magazine of the 80's. Because racecar bewbies.
    <img src="http://s.ecrater.com/stores/121185/4d5f84864829d_121185n.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  15. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar
    Rust-MyEnemy

    I was genuinely disppointed when the Aprilfoolness suddenly hit me after, oh, three seconds. Not to worry, I have the "cars and girs" thread over on Autoshite . (Not always SFW)
    Cars And Girls

    Reply
    1. dead_elvis Avatar
      dead_elvis

      I only checked out the first page of that thread, but it's certainly safer than what $kaycog awards over at [redacted]. Not complaining about either, mind you.

      Reply
  16. dculberson Avatar
    dculberson

    HOW DARE YOU HAVE FUN AT LAST CALL. I demand a refund. I will be speaking with your manager.
    (Or should I say, "u no gud cotomer sevis?")

    Reply
    1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar
      Rust-MyEnemy

      Hooniverse resemble your accusations….

      Reply
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