Out of the dirt and into the Dirty South, the venerable 24 Hours of LeMons race series is back in Cajun Country. This time though, it’s here with a twist: this one’s gonna go for the full twenty-four hours. And luckily for you, I’ll be there, covering the mayhem!
If you haven’t heard of it (really, though?), the 24 Hours of LeMons, to paraphrase their own Chief Perpetrator Jay Lamm, is a race series conceived for the sole purpose of enabling all idiots to race, not just rich ones. This has the ancillary benefit of ensuring that the racers in this series have a fantastic sense of humor. To elucidate: at last year’s Crapheaps, an ’80-something Celica dressed like a Shelby GT500—the GT$500, of course—takes first place, barely a lap ahead of a 1989 Honda Civic Wagovan colored in a wide array of pastels and with two proud pink flamingos standing guard on the roof. A Miata, covered head to toe with pink fuzz and Barbie™ dolls, bites a barrier. A group of local longtime drag racers who call themselves Cajun Jihad drives a ’94 Mitsubishi Mirage featuring flat desert sand paint, scrawled Arabic script, and a pair of loudspeakers that plays a loop of Panjabi MC’s “Mundian to Bach Ke”—on the racetrack.
Some semblance of sanity is maintained with the help of Judges Murilee Martin and Jonny Lieberman, although considering the nature of their penalties, perhaps “sanity” isn’t the right word. Go “four off”, and the “Bob Ross penalty” may have you painting a depiction of your offense onto your car. Hit someone on purpose, you may be writing “This ain’t NASCAR” four hundred times in metallic paint pen on your hood and quarter panels. And, special for us Louisianians, the “Choked by Mardi Gras” penalty requires that every team member don as many Mardi Gras beads as he can fit around his neck and parade around the entirety of the paddock ho,ding hands and yelling “I am a bad driver! I am a bad driver!”
So come on down, if you’re in the area. And if you aren’t, hey, live it vicariously through me. I’ll be here all weekend!
Laissez les Crapheaps Roulez! It's the 24 Hours of LeMons, Cher!
9 responses to “Laissez les Crapheaps Roulez! It's the 24 Hours of LeMons, Cher!”
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That reminds me, will the Uberbird be making an appearance in 2 weeks?
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Yup. Working on it this weekend.
New engine's in, just need to hook everything up.-
Hooray! I look forward to passing… err.. seeing it 😉
BTW, this entry seems to have disappeared from the Hooniverse home page. -
Shizz.. I've been thinking about hopping a plane to California and driving the Schitroen. I'm not sure I should spend the dosh. In fact, I'm sure I shouldn't, but I need a weekend away.
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The Schitroen is a fine horrible choice sir!
And for any of you who want to drive (and I use that term quite loosely) an even WORSE car, the Killer ZomBee MGB is looking for another victim, er, I mean driver.
It's a piece of crap, so don't get yur hopes up. All comers must have a warped sense of humor. 🙂-
If it weren't so damn far away, you know I'd be all over that.
Just to get away from the cold weather. -
If you're looking for a driver for the next Sears Pointless race, I am in, though I'm guessing it isn't so hard to get your friends to participate when the race is local.
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Dang Sketchler, you've got your own byline! Nice going. The 'Verse can use your verbose wizardry. Plus, you never post what you're watching on tv anymore, lolzers. Psyched to see you here.
And to fulfill my daily quota of wankery, Judge Lieberman is no longer a judge. He took a job as a correctional officer or something.-
When am I going to stop trying to +1 my own comments? Probably never. I just dig my vibe that much.
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