Everyone tells you that an education will ensure greater likelihood of future earnings, a lesson that is being learned the hard way by a Jersey girl whose F-Troop of a report card has lost her the use of a cherry red 1997 ford escort 2-door hatch. The girl’s dad is willing to let the car go for the low-low price of FREE, just to teach her a lesson. Hopefully she won’t fail that one too. With its $500 net price limit, a FREE escort could make a worthy base for some sort of juvenile delinquent-themed LeMons racer, sporting an I Don’t Feel Tardy bumper sticker and copious quantities of chewing gum stuck underneath. If you’re interested, you better act fast, at that price, it won’t last long. Oh, and if it turns out to be a scam and you find yourself waking up in an ice-filled bath in a Jersey motel room and missing a kidney, you didn’t hear about this from me. You can find the live ad on Philadelphia Craigslist.