Here is a real challenge for the fans of the Verse that is Hoon. I decided to throw a wrench into your thinking and to challenge your Hoon mindset by making you choose between four very desirable cars and trucks. Each has the qualities that make any true enthusiast lust for; They can be rare, they can be diamonds in the rough, they can be relatively affordable, and any one of them can become the Hooniverse Staff Vahicle. So, without any further interruption, you will have to choose between the following; A 1984 Toyota FJ60 Land Cruiser with 81,000 Miles, A 1979 Maserati Merak SS with 23,000 Miles, a 1978 Mercury Zephyr Box Top with a Stick and 86,000 Miles, and a 1992 GMC Typhoon with 45,000 Miles. Get ready to have your mind blown…

Our first contestant is a legendary Toyota FJ60 Land Cruiser. This is one of the more desirable Toyotas ever, and it was just before the US Land Cruiser became a “Luxury SUV”. According to the listing:

1984 FJ60 Land cruiser. Purchased in 2007 from Colorado on eBay with 75K mileage, used for coast guard. I have driven only few miles during restoration, currently has 81 K miles. If you know your vehicles, you will know that no mechanic touched this SUV, looking under the hood all hardware and fasteners are in place. I am selling because, currently have a back issue and too tuff of a drive for me.

Condition: Extremely clean in and out. Strong engine, powerful 4 speed gear box. All working electrical, cold AC, new shocks, and suspension bushing. New windshield, good tires, new paint. All chromes door handles, emblems, removed before paint job. New CD player and speakers. Undercoated the wheel well. Chassis rust removed, and painted with PRO15 black rust proof paint. No tears on weather stripper or on window ceils, all in good condition. New brake slave cylinder. Exhaust Manifold surface has been cut and installed with a new gasket, and new spark plug. Vehicle has been an accident before. Driver side door and fender replaced with used original parts. Drive rear quarter panel was damaged, but has been repaired by Best Choice Auto Body Shop in Victorville, CA. Vehicle does have a salvage title, however has no frame damage. Knowing insurance companies on how they try to total all older vehicles, and this vehicle wasn’t because of the good mechanical and cosmetic condition. This truck can go over 200K miles with no problem.

With over 5 days left for the auction to close, the Buy-It-Now price is $9,500. So, is this a very Hoonworthy Truck that should beat all the others for your hard earned money. Take a look at the listing, and be sure to vote below if you think this is the one for you.

Our next contestant is a very desirable and rare Maserati Merak SS. I chose this car for this contest because it shares many of the features from the Citroën SM, which is a very lustworthy car within the Hoon mindset. This is an unrestored Maserati with a V-6 instead of a V-8, and according to the listing:

I AM SELLING A VERY RARE 1979 MASERATI MERAK SS – SUPER SPORT! I BELEIVE THAT THERE WERE ONLY 267 CARS PRODUCED FOR USA IN 1979!
23,001 ORIGINAL MILES – YES, TWENTY THREE THOUSAND ORIGINAL MILES!
PERFECT INTERIOR – STUNNING BORA DASH, INSTRUMENTS, GAUGES, PERFECT SEATS, CARPETS, DOOR PANELS, ETC.
THE INTERIOR IS SIMPLY STUNNING – THE SMELL OF THE VINTAGE ITALIAN LEATHER IS UNCOMPARABLE TO ANYTHING ELSE!
MECHANICALLY VERY STRONG – 3 WEBERS HAVE BEEN ADJUSTED AND SET AND OF COURSE SYNTHETIC FLUIDS – 5W50 SYNTEC WITH THE BEST RACING OIL FILTER!

3.0 V6 220 HP WITH TRIPLE WEBER CARBS
75/140 SYNTHETIC GEAR OIL!
NEW PLUGS, WIRES, ETC.
YOU CAN DRIVE CROSS THE COUNTRY WITH NO PROBLEMS!

PAINT IS THE WORST PART OF THE CAR – IT IS A “10 FOOTER” AND DESERVES TO BE COMPLETELY STRIPPED AND REPAINTED BUT NOT BAD FOR A DAILY DRIVER! I WILL ALSO INCLUDE A BRAND NEW NOS SET OF LEFT & RIGHT REAR TAIL LAMP CLUSTERS ORIGINAL CARELLO THAT COST ME $ 800 DOLLARS FOR THE PAIR! COMES WITH A CLEAN NEW JERSEY TITLE IN MY HAND!

IT COMES WITH THE FOLLOWING:
ORIGINAL TOOL ROLL AND TOOLS
ORIGINAL JACK
COMPLETE SERVICE MANUAL – HARDBOUND
COMPLETE PARTS MANUAL – HARDBOUND
ORIGINAL FACTORY BROCHURE
ORIGINAL MASERATI OWNER’S MANUAL LEATHER CASE

The listing states that this is probably the last affordable Italian exotic available. He is probably right, and with 15 days to go, the Buy-It-Now price tag is $20,900. Take a look at the listing here, and tell me if this is the car that shines above the three others in this comparison.

Contestant number three is a bit of a ringer. This is a 1978 Mercury Zephyr 2-Door Boxtop Sedan, equipped with the 3.3L inline six-cylinder engine, and a floor shifted three-speed manual transmission. According to the listing:

1978 MERCURY ZEPHYR 2 DOOR “BOX-TOP” 86,600 ORIGINAL MILES!! (SUPER RARE DRIVELINE COMBINATION)
RUNS EXCELLENT, STARTS RIGHT UP EVEN WHEN SUPER COLD OUT, CLUTCH AND TRANSMISSION WORK FINE, CRUISES DOWN THE ROAD VERY WELL.
3.3 LITER INLINE 6 CYLINDER ENGINE
3 SPEED MANUAL TRANSMISSION ON THE FLOOR
7.5″ REAR AXLE
POWER STEERING
MANUAL BRAKES
NO AIR CONDITIONING
HAS MANUAL WINDOWS AND DOOR LOCKS
HAS FACTORY REAR DEFROSTER
NEWER SHOCKS AND STRUTS
NEW PCV VALVE AND FUEL FILTER.
EXHAUST IN GOOD CONDITION

TIRES ARE IN GREAT SHAPE EXCEPT RIGHT FRONT HAS OUTER EDGE WEAR.
LIGHTS, TURN SIGNALS, HORN, HEATER, PARKING BRAKE ALL WORK WELL.
NO RUST ON BODY OR UNDERSIDE (SOME SURFACE RUST ON THE UNDERHOOD PARTS BUT NOTHING TO CAUSE ANY TROUBLES)
DRIVES GREAT, HAS GOOD INSPECTION STICKER TILL NEXT YEAR
NEEDS CARPET, DRIVER SIDE SEAT BACK HAS SOME HOLES, HEADLINER IS MISSING MATERIAL BUT THE BOARD IS PRESENT,MISSING RADIO, THE FASTEN SEAT BELT LIGHT STAYS ON ALL THE TIME, AND THE TRUNK WILL NOT STAY OPEN ON ITS OWN (THE TORSION SPRING CAME OUT AND SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE PUT BACK IN TO FIX THIS).THE EMISSION’S AIR PUMP IS NOT OPERATIONAL.
HAVE A CLEAN TITLE FOR IT.
THIS CAR CAN BE USED AS IT IS OR HOLDS A LOT OF POTENTIAL TO BE TURNED INTO A HOT ROD. THIS CAR IS A FOX BODY UNDERNEATH MEANING MOST MUSTANG PARTS WILL WORK ON IT. THE PAINT JOB IS IN FAIR/GOOD CONDITION WITH A COUPLE CHIPS AND SOME TINY DINGS. IT HAS BEEN REPAINTED RED, ORIGINALLY GREEN, THE DOOR JAMS, TRUNK AND UNDERHOOD ARE STILL GREEN.
COMES WITH OWNER’S MANUAL AND BUILD SHEET!!!!

Yes, this is a Fox Body, and can be turned into a real sleeper if you have the know how, and the energy to do so. There is five days left for the auction with a top bid of $2,425 so far, with no reserve. Take a look at the listing here, and tell me if you want to follow in the footsteps of our own LTDScott, and build a Fox Body Sleeper of your own.

Our final contestant is this 1992 GMC Typhoon, a vehicle that seems to stir a fair amount of lust deep within the hearts of our fans. According to the listing for this Typhoon:

Black on black. 45k miles. I’ve owned the truck for about a year and did some minor mods during that time. I upgraded the fuel pump and throttle body and it runs awesome. I also put a new heater core from GM in it, updated the resistor, blower motor, and switch relay. The truck is super clean. Orignal paint, cladding, wheels, exhaust, etc. Inspected in a PA until June 2012. Everything works properly from the AWD to the A/C. It’s a really nice example of a clean original Typhoon. I have all original parts for the truck and would be willing to set the truck back to 100% stock and negotiate the price if the buyer would rather have the truck in stock form. I’ve been messing with Turbo Buicks and Sy/Ty’s for a few years and really enjoy these vehicles. The time has just come for this one to go. The truck kelly blue book’s at $17,200

-Stock Exhaust
-Stock untouched bottom end
-Stock stock untouched heads
-Stock ECU/Chip tuned with datmaster
-Walbro 255 lph
-QA-1 12 way adj. rear shocks
-RPM 52mm throttle body
-RPM vacccum brake hose with AN fitting w/ boost tap
-RPM cold air intake
-RPM charge pipe
-RPM fuel pressure gauge
-halfast enginuity EGR delete
-Innovate wideband (all electrical ran, needs o2 bung welded into test pipe or aftermarket exhaust, your choice)
-VDO 30psi gauge
-Hot wired intercooler pump
-New cap and rotor
-Taylor 8MM wires new plugs
The truck should easily run a low 13, and with a chip and exhaust in the 12’s.

With only a few hours to go, the seller wants $17,000, but is open to reasonable offers. Take a look at the listing here, and tell me if this is the vehicle that tops all the others.

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