If Ötzi the iceman is any indication, then humans have been marking their bodies with ink for more than 5,000 years. That 5,000-year old hunter is not only only the oldest known tattoo parlor patron, but as evidenced by the arrowhead in his back, he’s also the earliest confirmed murder victim. Several millennia later, we’re still inking and piercing and mohawking ourselves in an attempt to exhibit an individual sense of societal conformity. Oh yeah, and we’re also still offing each other like it’s a carnival game.
Personal expression is not limited to our personages either; in fact it’s extended to almost every accouterment we possess. We dress our cell phones in chic, expressive cases, and similarly embarrass our pets with sweaters, garish collars, and grooming that would shame Miss J. Alexander. And that fetish does not stop when it comes to our wheels.
Now, most of you very likely do not participate in any of this, car nuts being far less likely to care how their nether regions are coifed than the average person, but that doesn’t mean you can’t weigh in on what car adornment most catalyzes your rage and disgust. Perhaps it’s Carol Channing eyelashes, applied without consideration of the car’s personal shame. Or maybe it’s that bastion of redneck contempt for societal norms – truck nuts. Whatever the visual blight, which is your most hated car fetish?