Hooniverse Asks- What's the Most Annoying Car Type Devotee?

Ricers, Low Riders, Rondel Ragers, VW Vortexers, IROC-N-Rollers, it seems if there’s an automotive classification or niche, there’s some douchebag to fill it. But which ones drive you the most bat guano?
Afflicted with the twin disabilities of fartcanicus shrill-notius and the wearing of pants that appear to have come from the store pre-loaded with a six-pound defecatory sidekick, Ricers take their name from their predilection for Asian cars and the stereotypical reliance on that dietary staple. They tend to singlehandedly keep both the billet and fiberglass industries afloat, and typically the only thing OEM on their rides is the shadow.
Mullet wearers seem to be genetically predisposed to either the most craptacular ’80s pony cars, or some sort of monster truck (also favored by the ex-frat boy d-bags) the only purpose of which appears to be its ability to take up multiple lanes and parking spaces. The parking spaces in much of East LA are taken up with what are predominately GM products, again from the ’80s, although these feature tiny tires on spoked rims, as well as usually a young lady in the passenger seat named “Shy Girl.”
BMW owners are a breed unto themselves, as are Ferrari owners, although on occasion they do cross-pollinate. The result is too heinous for words, although you usually envy them their cars, even if not their personalities.
Each of these groups has the singular purpose of making life for regular car people either uncomfortable or annoying, and some are more so than others. Which one of the car cliches (think the Warriors movie, only with cars instead of gangs) burns your biscuits the most? Of course, if you happen to be a member of one of these groups, we’d also like to hear your attempt at a defense.
Image sources: [IWSTI.com, MSProtege.com]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

78 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What's the Most Annoying Car Type Devotee?”

  1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

    <img src="http://www.barefootsworld.net/barefootbobphotos/Barefoot%20Bob%202.JPG&quot; height="400">
    Model T owners. Always with the, "What the hell YOU lookin' at, Sonny!" Hell no you can't drive it! Do you even know what a spark advance lever does?" and sooner or later, "Get off my lawn!"

  2. SSurfer321 Avatar

    I drive a lifted 4×4 F150 because sometimes I find myself in extreme conditions including but not limited to:
    1. Driving/parking on grass
    2. Driving up/over curbs
    3. Driving in snow flurries
    4. Driving through puddles
    5. Driving over potholes
    Due to my x-treme ride height, the setting sun pierces through my windshield earlier and for a longer duration, thus necessitating my flat billed baseball cap.

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      You forgot #6: Repeatedly revving my truck in the driveway every morning at 5:15 AM so my neighbor Tanshanomi can enjoy listening to my Gale Banks turbo spooling up through the unmuffled exhaust.

      1. SSurfer321 Avatar

        They are just being polite and making sure you get up for work on time. You should go thank you neighbor 🙂

      2. austinminiman Avatar

        Thas' only in the morning. You spos'ed to be up makin' brekfast or sumthin'. It like an alarm clock!

        1. w00tb0t Avatar

          [youtube eSOSJ68xOBA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSOSJ68xOBA youtube]
          Turbo goes WOOOOO WOOOO!
          WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

  3. Maymar Avatar

    Diesel people – I'm down with the oil burning too, but after getting about a dozen times a day why Jeep didn't offer a diesel engine by people who largely had no idea you could get a sparkless Liberty and Grand Cherokee wears thin. Also, Jetta TDi owners are the new smug. Just sayin'

    1. K5ING Avatar

      No, TDI owners aren't the "new smug"…. we've been smug for a long time now….LOL!

      1. Maymar Avatar

        Hah! Fair enough, but supposedly, the hybrid owners stole it, and then diesel fanatics stole it right back (cause it's totally better than a hybrid, and only emits unicorn farts, I swear).

  4. engineerd Avatar

    Hybrid owners. These greenistas like to rub your face in the fact that their car is "green". Yet, what they don't know is that all they are doing is reducing the oil consumption at the vehicle level. The mining of the minerals and processing, manufacturing, transporting, and, eventually, recycling of their battery packs is less energy efficient and just as harmful to Mother Earth as my gas-engined car. The typical, smug hybrid owner shuns cars that look like other cars — i.e. the Ford Escape Hybrid — in favor of uniquely shaped hybrid cars — i.e. the Prius — so as to maximize their smugness. The only exception is SUVs with "HYBRID" emblazoned in 14" lettering across the back and sides.
    The only known cure for this sickness is to point out diesel-powered vehicles that get better mileage than the hybrid vehicle that person is spreading their smug in.

    1. alcology Avatar

      Yes definitely the Hybrids.

    2. omg_grip Avatar

      I have been considering for a while an "F Your Hybrid" bumper sticker.

      1. austinminiman Avatar

        I've contemplated getting a nice chrome Hybrid sticker for my car. In the conventional pre-2000 wisdom, it is a Hybrid., Volvo with a Ford motor…

    3. lilwillie Avatar

      Hybrid all the way. It is rare I find a owner that isn't very full of themselves for saving the planet with their Hybrid.

      1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

        I still want to start a hybrid racing league. Sidenote: Hooniverse works at my new job!!!

    4. dmilligan Avatar

      And anything to do with Ed Begley jr. What a sanctimonious plonker.

  5. Ted Avatar

    You forgot mid-life crisis man with a loud Harley.

    1. dwegmull Avatar

      Or a Porsche Boxter or 911, depending on the budget.

    2. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      A friend was checking out Mrs. Tanshanomi's new V-Star 950 and asked, "You gonna put a louder exhaust on it?"
      She replied. "Why would I want to do that? That would be obnoxious."
      He just stared at her like she was an alien.

      1. SSurfer321 Avatar

        I understand loud pipes save lives and am all for it, but there comes a point at which it is obnoxious. Especially when leaving the bar, driving by my house and jumping out of the throttle at 9K rpm at 3am. Every wednesday. All summer long.

      2. ZomBee Racer Avatar

        You married an alien?

        1. engineerd Avatar

          Didn't we all?

          1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

            Nearly – in more than one sense.

    3. Froggmann_ Avatar

      I was originally going to choose Honda Boys but Harley douches are the worst. Harley Riders, I really don't care that you spent your child's college savings account on a two wheeled vibrator or that you like to dress up like a patron of the Blue Oyster. I don't care that you feel the need to call attention to yourself by removing your mufflers but I do laugh at you when I see you broke down on the side of the freeway.

  6. muthalovin Avatar

    Saturn owners. You know what you can do with your dent resistant panels? Shove 'em!
    Just kidding. They are actually kinda cool.

    1. engineerd Avatar

      Saturn owners are just creepy. It's downright cultish and those pictures of Saturns lined up on the highway to Spring Hill for the "reunion" just fortifies my opinion.
      I'm so glad my parents left the cult before Saturn murdured all its owners and committed suicide.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

        I lost both my parents when Oldsmobile made them drink the Turbo-Rocket fluid.

      2. CaptainZeroCool Avatar

        So THAT is what I'm supposed to do?
        /Saturn Owner

        1. Saturnsufferer Avatar

          Uh, some of us are just stuck with them because it's all we can afford to keep running. At 230k miles and nearly as many rattles my 1995 SC2 is fresh out of smug.

    2. Maymar Avatar

      I suppose I can do without Saturn, but I wish they'd just keep bringing back the stand with the door panel embedded in the floor, which you were encouraged to jump on.

  7. Corvette_Poncho Avatar

    I'm going to have to agree with the previously mentioned d-bag harley group. I live in Milwaukee, home to these things so they narturally are EVERYWHERE! A bunch of old men, riding around on air cooled, carburated antique noise makers. If my car made half as much noise, I'd have noise citations coming out my @zz!

  8. Charles_Barrett Avatar

    <img src="http://pictures.styledanvers.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/sexy-car-driver-300×200.jpg&quot; width=500>
    Oh, wait… you want the most annoying type devotee…?
    Sorry. I thought you said arousing

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      Your photo didn't come through for me.
      But really, that's okay!

      1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

        Yeah, I'm kinda worried about seeing that one

    2. Charles_Barrett Avatar

      Hmm… This inline embed worked initially, but not now… anyway, the image is completely Safe For Work and G rated:
      http://pictures.styledanvers.com/wp-content/uploa

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

        Yet still distinctly uncomfortable for the rest of us.

        1. Charles_Barrett Avatar

          Well, maybe the guy is off to go try out Abercrombie & Fitch's new drive-thru window…? ;-P

        2. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

          Well, not the same sort of uncomfortable…

  9. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    Impreza owners. By which I mean the sort who buy a little-ol'-lady Impreza 1.6 GL and immediately attack it with the entire Colin McRae graphics kit.
    The Impreza has become a lifestyle choice, and, unfortunately, around here it is the lifestyle of the utter asshat. You WILL not see an Impreza being driven gently on a crowded city street, it has to be permanently bouncing off the rev limiter. You will not see a '90s impreza presented in a respectable colour scheme. An older Impreza is statistically most likely to be uninsured, is likely being driven by a 17yr old with next to no driving experience and access to 200hp all of a sudden.
    Around here, the Impreza is fairly popular as a final car.

    1. Charles_Barrett Avatar

      I had to have my Londoner friend Roger (ROGNBROW on Jalopnik) define "Chav" for me years ago when I first heard the term on an episode of "Doctor Who" on BBC America. A few weeks ago I had to explain it to my mother when that episode of DW re-ran… There really is no direct Yankee analog that I can think of…

      1. engineerd Avatar

        The closest I've ever come up with is a cross between the stereotypical Jersey Shore "guido" (for lack of a better word) and redneck.

      2. LTDScott Avatar

        Actually I can think of an American equivalent but it's not exactly PC.

        1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

          Wiggers? Yeah, they're close. Guidos aren't a bad bet, either, but it's mostly wiggers. Expensive sneakers, ugly ball caps, bass-heavy music pouring from bass-free cell-phone speakers, petty theft… And just as wiggers cross over with ricers to create ultimate white trash, chavs (neds, scallies, etc.) ruin formerly respectable economy cars in a similar fashion.
          I know that's not the friendliest name for 'em, but any white kid who refers to his equally-pasty friends as his "nigguhz" has definitely given up on political correctness already, so I've no problem with the term.

      3. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

        I've never actually seen what I'd call a chav in the US, but your country is so much richer with sterotypes that you really don't need chavs mixed in as well.
        Visually, I guess the closest stereotypes you guys have are Persians, if South Park is a reliable research source.

        1. discontinuuity Avatar

          The few Iranians I’ve met are nothing like that. Maybe in other areas, but not in Colorado. I’m still not quite sure what a chav is. Or a hoodie for that matter.

    2. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

      You got me! My post was just a thinly veiled rant against chavitty. There is a growing movement in support a national chav cull.

      1. joshuman Avatar

        From what I understand, Essex would become a wasteland.

  10. Hörñéy Avatar

    Ricers and people that drive hybrids annoy me most. For some reason most ricers seem to think a 2.0 liter four is somehow morally superior to a 6.0 liter eight. On top of that they can't be convinced that there's nothing wrong with a V8. There's a similar vibe with hybrid drivers in that they can't seemingly be convinced that their "40" MPG car is actually worse for the environment then a "gas guzzler" from the '60s. That seems to make them think that they are somehow better and then produces a "smugness." Not all of them are like that, just most of them.

  11. name_too_long Avatar

    Does "idiot-who-can't-drive-doing-ten-under-next-to-another-jackass-going-the-exact-same-speed" count as a devotee type? I mean they all tend to be driving appliances / beaters.
    Aside from them the only group in the area with sufficient numbers to thoroughly piss me off on a daily basis are the lifted truck bozos. I can't call them flatbillers since around here most of them spent the hat money on meth.

    1. Maymar Avatar

      Ahh, but those people fall into two catagories, people who know to drive in the right lane (in both senses of right), and those who don't. The latter are the idiots. I admit though, if I'm sometimes feeling sorta douchey, I'll go out of my way to pace the middle-lane idiot until they notice. They never seem to, but I feel I'm making a moral stance or something.

  12. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

    At the risk of ticking off some of the Hooniverse faithful, I think the retro-kulture/rockabilly/neo-hep-cat/billetproof/rat-rod crowd need to be included here, too, with their 'hipper-than-the-masses' contempt for everybody who doesn't have a burlesque dancer tattooed on their forearms.

    1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

      Pretty much what I came here to say. But really, all of these answers amount to the same thing, people purchasing a lifestyle. Someday I will finally put together an early-60s surf-style A Sedan, but I'm not going to hunt down parking stickers from some show in 62 to put on it. Plus, there's not enough pomade in the universe to make my hair do that rat-rodder duck's ass thing.

    2. ZomBee Racer Avatar

      +1!
      However I just chalk it up to the timeless angst of the self marginalized and don't take it too personally. I've got a car that would be at home in their ranks, and I like a lot of their rides, but they do come off as a bit holier than thou at times. Sorry bubs, I let who I am dictate my lifestyle, not the other way around. If that's not good enough for you, I shall leave you to your angst and keep my admiration of your ride to myself.

    3. mdharrell Avatar

      Oh, I agree. Certainly not on my forearms.

    4. discontinuuity Avatar

      I really do like all the kool kustoms and old-skool rods over at the HAMB, but Jesus some of those people are more obsessed with historical accuracy than Civil War re-enactors.

  13. Matt Avatar

    Flat-brim, plaid wearing, stretched, slammed and poked bro-tato VW/Audi guys. They seem to all be winning a "stupidest" appearance mod award everyday (rusted hoods, 200 lbs of crap in a roof box, 195 tires on 10" wide rims, "oooh look, my subframe touches the ground!, etc., etc.)
    Harley tough-guy wannabes are a VERY close second.

    1. discontinuuity Avatar

      I've never seen any of the local flat-billers driving such a car. Most have lifted trucks or WRXs with "No Fear" or other similar stickers.

    2. zaddikim Avatar

      Bro-tato just made my morning.

  14. engineerd Avatar

    If I had a Kubelwagen, X-Bow and Rubicon in my driveway, I'd be a happy man.

    1. zaddikim Avatar

      Can I suggest a Unimog 404 as an alternate for the Rubicon?
      /preference for ugly trucks

  15. BGW Avatar

    Just this morning, I was stuck in traffic behind a riced-out Civic with a "JDM AS FUCK!" sticker taking up the rear window. I've heard plenty of fart-cans in my time, but this thing sounded like a diarrhea-can. Apparently, VTEC never kicked in.
    So yeah. I'm gonna go with the pic up top.

    1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

      The latest JDM trend around here is the removal of the rear license plate and repositioning of it somewhere off centre.
      Of course, the regular rectangular plate is swapped for a square one, for that "import" look, even if the car was built in Birmingham
      <img src="http://2.forumer.com/uploads/civicsport/post-12-1096278995.jpg&quot; width="500">
      Thus. Why the hell put it there? What's wrong with the factory position?

  16. fisheater Avatar

    Bentley owners. Their addiction to mustard and social grace are always jamming up traffic lights. When will they learn and just bring two jars?

  17. Eggwich Avatar

    Saab owners. I'm only annoyed by a few of them, but their continual justification as to why their cars are such overlooked bargains drives me nuts. Yes, the Viggen was a nice car. Get over it.
    Honestly, I think I'm just citing a specific example of the fanboi. Fanbois, I hate you, though sometimes I am you. If you happen to recommend your own car as the car other people should buy, no matter their criteria, or as the "best car on the market," regardless of price, you make me ill and discredit your marque.
    And yeah, I spend a lot of time on VWVortex, lol, tho the fanboidom in there isn't as bad as people make it out to be.

  18. Mr_Biggles Avatar

    I am generally annoyed at a low level by the whole ricing trend, but that is a damn good picture up top and gives me a good laugh.
    What really annoys me, and maybe they aren't a group as laid out in the rules, is all the members of the general public who feel it is necessary to point out to me that my 68 Beetle is faded, has patchy paint, has some rust bubbles, needs a new top, or whatever other nitpicky comment they can come up with. It is mechanically sound and fun to drive (depending on your definition). I use it as a daily driver 3 out of 4 seasons. It's not supposed to be a show car and I wouldn't make it one if I could afford it. Regardless of ones opinion of old VW drivers, I find that as a group none of them make any of those comments to me. They may do it behind my back, but at least they all wave on the road. I don't see ricers waving at each other…

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      As a previous member of the air-cooled VW brotherhood, I found nearly every one of them to be pleasant, gracious, welcoming, intelligent, accepting and unassuming.
      Everything the liquid-cooled Dubster brigade is NOT.

      1. Mr_Biggles Avatar

        While I have been to very few swap meets and VW shows, I would say your assessment is bang on. To be fair though, maybe the gang of sullen Dubsters that always seem to be there are simply annoyed at having to hang out with what they see as a bunch of aging hippies and Ward Cleavers.

  19. earlofhalflight Avatar

    Speaking as an Australian car enthusiast, I would say Australian car enthusiasts. Trying to get through to the bulk of them that there is more to the world of automobiles than Holdens and Ford Falcons can be a very frustrating exercise.

  20. busted_cam Avatar

    anybody else notice that the "ricer" car on the right is actually a mustang under that photoshopping?
    As for the question: I'm going with supercar owners. It saddens me to know that machines designed to blast around at the limits of sanity, are typically kept locked up and only taken out on 'special' occasions. This is followed on my personal list by people who want to own supercars (or really anyone who will stand around telling you how great some car they will never drive is, for hours on end)

    1. Spencedaddy Avatar

      bugatti veyron fans….they kill me
      DUDE WOULD THAT BEAT A BUGATTI?
      i really could care less, its a pointless waste of money…..you wanna go fast? get a twin turbo supra or mustang or something
      NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE GODDAMN VEYRON

  21. buzzboy7 Avatar

    Pri-ites and similar

  22. Lotte Avatar

    Well, the only devotees that annoy me are the sound system dudes and chicks. I have to hear it, and it's usually repeating set of beats(dudes), or are pop songs that have been recycled OVER AND OVER AGAIN on the damned radio(chicks, in sunfires, usually). Crap, I don't want to hear stupid Justin Bieber again you stupid, stupid… How do they not get tired of blasting their damned music on the road? Do they actually think they're cool? Do I want to hear it? NO. SHUT UP. If their purpose is to annoy the hell out of me, then they are doing their damned job very well.

  23. jjd241 Avatar

    We don't see'em much around here, so I can't be annoyed by them, but one clique I don't get is the Donks.. http://atxcrew.com/donk.jpg

  24. MS3guy Avatar

    The post Pastrana/Block skater rally/drifter dudes. It seems they have put away the skateboards and traded them for a distinctly *hoonligan* driving scene.

  25. ptschett Avatar

    As an engineer who's spent the last two years working on off-highway diesel emissions controls and also as a motorcyclist, I have a personal pet peeve with the diesel truck performance guys who think their truck has to be shooting a massive and opaque cloud of carcinogens 3 lanes over whenever the throttle's anywhere other than low-idle.

  26. Black Steelies Avatar

    i dislike the lifted truck guys the most. It would be different if they actually used them but with such nice wheels and paint who would dare!
    I can't hate the hybrid owners and ricer dbags. their cars are just so cute!

    1. CptSevere Avatar

      Those trucks annoy me, too. All the gnarly tires and wheels, bumpers, winches, etc., and you know they'll never see the edge of the pavement.

%d bloggers like this: