Ricers, Low Riders, Rondel Ragers, VW Vortexers, IROC-N-Rollers, it seems if there’s an automotive classification or niche, there’s some douchebag to fill it. But which ones drive you the most bat guano?
Afflicted with the twin disabilities of fartcanicus shrill-notius and the wearing of pants that appear to have come from the store pre-loaded with a six-pound defecatory sidekick, Ricers take their name from their predilection for Asian cars and the stereotypical reliance on that dietary staple. They tend to singlehandedly keep both the billet and fiberglass industries afloat, and typically the only thing OEM on their rides is the shadow.
Mullet wearers seem to be genetically predisposed to either the most craptacular ’80s pony cars, or some sort of monster truck (also favored by the ex-frat boy d-bags) the only purpose of which appears to be its ability to take up multiple lanes and parking spaces. The parking spaces in much of East LA are taken up with what are predominately GM products, again from the ’80s, although these feature tiny tires on spoked rims, as well as usually a young lady in the passenger seat named “Shy Girl.”
BMW owners are a breed unto themselves, as are Ferrari owners, although on occasion they do cross-pollinate. The result is too heinous for words, although you usually envy them their cars, even if not their personalities.
Each of these groups has the singular purpose of making life for regular car people either uncomfortable or annoying, and some are more so than others. Which one of the car cliches (think the Warriors movie, only with cars instead of gangs) burns your biscuits the most? Of course, if you happen to be a member of one of these groups, we’d also like to hear your attempt at a defense.
Image sources: [IWSTI.com, MSProtege.com]
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