Hooniverse Asks: What should 2018 Santa drive?

Yes I know the date. But know for me that Christmas basically began the second the Thanksgiving Turkey slid down my gullet. A three-year-old child forces holidays on you at a faster rate than which you’re used to.
So then I ask, what would 2018 Santa drive? He still has the sleigh, but that’s his work truck. When he’s tootling around, what does 2018 Santa drive?

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33 responses to “Hooniverse Asks: What should 2018 Santa drive?”

  1. Zentropy Avatar

    I don’t see Santa as a self-indulgent character, but one that lives pretty simply. I think he’d drive something old that’s useful around the shop, and which can get around in the snow. I’m thinking ’69 F250 4×4.

    1. theskig Avatar

      That’s uncle Jesse, not Santa.

      1. P161911 Avatar

        Santa hauls ‘shine in the summer?!?! So that’s how he pays for all the toys. That explains what all the elves are doing now that all the toys get made in China.

      2. Zentropy Avatar

        They’re not the same guy?

    1. SlowJoeCrow Avatar

      Paging Paul Niedermeyer

    2. outback_ute Avatar

      I thought of the Suzuki Ignis, but as a more rotund gent I’m going for something larger. Land Cruiser

  2. Lokki Avatar

    Gentlemen (sic):
    I am disappointed at some of the suggestions so far. Plain, thrifty, utilitarian vehicles for Santa? I don’t think so.
    First, let me remind you that Santa, like Guy Fieri, likes to dress, uh flamboyantly stylishly. This is a dude who wears a red hat for goodness sake.
    Next, we know from the evidence that Santa likes some horsepower (okay, okay, reindeer power, for you Metric nuts). I ask you to note that Santa could be cruising around with six reindeer, or even four if he turbocharged them (heh, heh, don’t ask). BUT: No, Santa demands eight reindeer, count em, eight!
    Finally, I suggest that Santa isn’t someone who is slave to the latest fashion trends – again, look at his clothing choices. He’s still rocking the same look he had in those 1940’s Coca Cola ads he did. Additional proof can be seen in the fact that he never brought me any of the latest toys… they were always stuff the cool kids had had two or three years earlier.
    So, my thought is that Santa’s daily is a nicely resto-modded 55 Cadillac Brougham like this one:

    1. 0A5599 Avatar

      You know who else wore a red suit, red hat, and had cool toys before the masses? Bill Mitchell.
      Santa wants a prototype Stingray, just like the guy in charge of designing that Caddy.

    2. Zentropy Avatar

      Hell no.

    3. Tiller188 Avatar

      I appreciate both the choice and the arguments to get there — well-played!

      1. Alff Avatar

        I have that ornament. It’s part of a series. My wife would buy me the new one each year. She must not be a fan, though, ’cause I don’t see any of them on our trees this year.

  3. P161911 Avatar

    Dude lives at the North Pole! He needs a Sno-Buggy!
    Or maybe a Lingenfelter Suburban with some Mattraxs.

      1. dr zero Avatar
        dr zero

        Dude, isn’t that the South Pole?

        1. Sjalabais Avatar

          The question was “What car should Santa drive?”. No specification whether it’s Santa Claus or the lesser known South Pole Santa Dieter we’re talking about…

  4. GTXcellent Avatar

    Stereo-typically, don’t jolly old fat guys usually drive C4/5/6 ‘Vettes?

    1. Maymar Avatar

      Go with a C5 hardtop, I think they have the most luggage space.

      1. Alff Avatar

        No, because we’re very close. I let him use my car.

          1. Alff Avatar

            Only part time. I try to make up for my behavior at other times.

  5. SlowJoeCrow Avatar

    An Icelandic style Toyota HiLux like Clarkson and May drove to the North Pole.

  6. 0A5599 Avatar

    Santa knows who has been naughty and who was nice. That’s some powerful information.
    Party bus with a stripper pole. Bad girls go everywhere.

  7. Maggie Dee Avatar
    Maggie Dee

    Santa would definitely need a Mack Titan, probably an Australian built version for the 5 trailer road train. Just for all the self-entitled children of lawn mower parents.

  8. Windbüchse Avatar

    Of course, he’d drive a classic….http://raylinrestoration.com/Stuff/Postcards/Generic/51Santabaker-T.jpg

  9. crank_case Avatar

    Santa would drive a TCMCC Dale, because neither really exist and they both have extremely dubious origins. BAH HUMBUG!!! https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–x4bOBoVh–/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/18jawd4pv66fmjpg.jpg

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