Hooniverse Asks- The World Ends at 6:00 Tomorrow Night, What Are You Gonna Drive To The Grave?

There’s a group of folks who follow a certain preacher man, and this dude of the cloth has predicted that the world will end tomorrow at 6:00 PM. Well, it’s not going to end for most of us, just for the true believers who will be spirited off before – literally – all hell breaks loose. Sure, they may be wrong, and the preacher man may be a crack pot – shizzle, he’s batting 0 for 1 having previously said that the world would end back in 1994, however it turned out that Brenda and Dylan finally sleeping together didn’t have the anticipated world-shattering effect that the preacher and FoxTV had predicted.
But what if they, and all their billboards, are right? What if the world does go to hell in a handbasket at 6:00? Now, there’s some conjecture as to exactly where the fireworks will start as 6:00 pm is kind of a moving target considering the Earth’s spin and all. Regardless, it’s going to go down right around the middle of somebody’s cocktail hour and make for a very, very bad day. Especially for all of you who have been – as Loverboy so eloquently put it – working for the weekend. Couldn’t Judgement Day have a little sympathy and happen on a Monday? I mean, who plans this crap?
Anyway, as everything will be going to hell – plagues of frogs (real ones too, not just French tourists, mon dieu!), fire and brimstone raining from the sky, Mel Gibson moving in next door – it’ll be a good opportunity while everyone else is panicking for you to jump on any ride that you’ve been secretly wishing you could sell your soul to the devil to drive. ย And since now you’re probably going to meet old Scratch in person pretty shortly, what car or truck would that be?
Image source: [cakecentral.com]

51 Comments

  1. Interesting that the last apoca-guess was centred around Brenda and Dylan, as just last night we found out that Bones is pregnant with Angel's Booth's undead baby.
    While there are many vehicles I could choose, at the end of the day, practicality has to have some influence. The motorcycle dealership that I can walk to from my house has a CBX in their used inventory. If you can't mow the zombies down, you might as well outrun them:
    <img src="http://pictures.dealer.com/c/clarescycleampsporttc/0650/de4691e00a0a0064012eabae864b75d2.jpg&quot; width=500>

    1. Excellent choice. I got to thinking about those one day last summer, for no particular reason. As if by magic, my gearhead neighbor pulled into my driveway the very next day on a pristine example. They didn't enjoy the market success that Honda had hoped for but boy, are they neat.

  2. I do consider myself a believer, but I also believe in Mark 13:32, Matthew 24:36, and Acts 1:7 (basically this particular preacher man is nuts). But just in case everything I believe turns out wrong, this should be available:
    <a target='_blank' title='ImageShack – Image And Video Hosting' href='http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/152/bt0004575321ry2.jpg/'><img src='http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/1467/bt0004575321ry2.jpg&#039; border='0'/>
    Uploaded with <a target='_blank' href='http://imageshack.us'>ImageShack.us

    1. So we know where the Trinity sits (Jesus to the right of The Father). Where will you go?

      1. The Holy Ghost doesn't need a seat. He's a divine spirit, right? He can just fly along. And isn't sitting to the left of The Father less than comforting to the driver? Isn't that where the damned sit? Would The Father take the McLaren as compensation?

    2. Yeah, who gave him the inside scoop? It could be any time (the end of the world). He doesn't know, and we don't know. Just enjoy a good Saturday night.

  3. Yesterday, I stopped by the liquor store and picked up a bottle of bourbon. As I was checking out, the guy bagging the bottle looked at me and asked, "you should have gotten 2. The Rapture is tomorrow."
    I replied, "Oh, your right! Goddamn!"
    With that, I will still be here. I figure my standard response of Raptor will work just fine. After all, what better way to be ready for the Rapture actually in a Raptor. Mind. Just. Kasploded.

    1. i know the road to hell quite well. might you need a navigator?? i can show you the quick way…….

      1. It sounds like you've been there and back. How about if I show you the other way? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. If it comes, I'm hoping my heavenly reward includes a garage full of obscure iron so I'm not gonna worry about it.

    1. "Pale Death, with impartial foot, knocks at the cottages of the poor and the palaces."
      By Sunday, I guess all languages will be dead languages.

    2. Hmm… Google Translate gave me this translation:
      "Death knocks with impartial foot towers of the poor of the shops and monarchs'…"
      At least those foot towers are the impartial kind… could be worse…

  5. Not driving anywhere. I'll sit on the deck and overlook my personal green zone with case of Beer and loaded guns. The cars will be prepped for the escape. My son will rise up and either strike you all down or decide that Fanboy and Chum-Chum are on and let us all live.

  6. I plan on entering the branch at 462 Albert St., Waterloo, in mid-June when I take a trip to the corporate HQ. Odds are, it isn't yours though.

  7. Does anybody remember the scene from that movie "On the Beach" where one of the characters lives out his last moments running laps at what I think was Phillip Island? That would be a good way to go. I can't find the clip but I think he was driving a Ferrari 355 or 550.

    1. It was a Testa Rossa and Fred Astaire was the driver. He actually offs himself by revving the living hell out of it while shut in the garage and drinking richly its death-filled exhaust. Creepy movie made all the more so by being set predominantly in Australia, and then being populated with American actors without any sort of Aussie accent. Oy! Oy! Oy!

      1. The auto race was epic, with all sorts of people crashing and dying. The sub surfaced off Australia and stayed there because the fallout and radiation hadn't reached there. The scene where the sub goes back to the U.S. was pretty strange.

      2. This Hooniverse Asks question should have been bylined by you instead of that Robert guy.

  8. Pagani Zonda F.
    Everyone knows supernatural forces are repelled by SCIENCE!, and what’s more SCIENCE!-y than carbotanium monocoques?
    And if I’m wrong, at least I’ll go out in the ultimate expression of supercar-dom.

  9. I'm a Christian but I don't believe this guy knows what he is talking about any more than my neighbor with paranoid schizophrenia knows what she is talking about. That being said, if the rapture DOES come tomorrow night, I will likely be in my 1991 Geo Metro delivering pizza, or shall I say I will be delivered FROM delivering pizza in a Geo Metro. Hopefully heaven will hold something awesome for me to drive for eternity-like an SR20-DET powered PL 510.

  10. Well it would be easy to say Rosemary the hearse as usual but seeing that she's parked 200 miles away and pending inspection- it'll probably be a god-be-damned Dodge Stratus.

  11. Eh, if it were actually going to happen, I'd probably stick with the GTO. Goat features on Ol' Splitfoot, you know. He might dig it.
    But that ain't gonna happen, and here's why. I have a loaded 20-sided die and I plan to roll a natural 20 on my disbelieve roll, thereby saving the world for everyone.
    /Y'all can thank me later.
    //Especially you, Christina Ricci
    ///Supergeek? What gave you that idea?

  12. Well, we all know that the Diablo will take the hindmost. If I drive a Cirrus, I'll have one hell of a head start. Then again any Subaru already knows the way home.

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