Hooniverse Asks- How Do You Dress Your Car?

Some people announce just how big their family is on the back of there cars. To me, that’s making it a little too easy for the Pedo Bears to do their shopping. Other folks like to demonstrate their derision for a competing brand by having Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbes fame, engage in water sports with the logo. The aisles of Auto Parts stores are filled with flames, shatter sports baseballs and faux portholes. Do you like to adorn your vehicle of choice with such contributions to the arts? Oh, and by the way, Mrs. Cox appears to have a very nice rack.

Some people, myself included, prefer their cars to be au naturale, while others see their rides as rolling billboards, blank canvases for the expression of their artistic bent and perspective.
Do you still have that Gore 2000 bumper sticker fading away on your car’s ass? How about a big band aid with “ouch” written on it covering a recent door ding? The options for automotive adornment seem virtually endless and appear to have taken over from the molded plastic cup-holder/tissue box-type accessories at the local Walmarts as impulse purchases.
Given that we all seek to broadcast our aspirational self, promoting our favorite team, or our loathing of a rival on our cars can be a highly visible, and non-confrontational method. Although there have been cases of people with rival political views taking physical actions toward those espousing ideas that run counter to theirs, via bumper stickers. We call those people parolees.
So, have you ever stuck a sticker on your car? Does Calvin relieve himself on your back window? Is your family lined up on the back of the Hummer for all the world to see? Or, is your car a barren wasteland of opinion?
Image sources: [techpin.com, rlsportslines.com]

78 Comments

  1. The GIC Family Truckster currently sports:
    – "My Other Car is a Locomotive" license frame from the B&O Railroad Museum. Please note this is actually true, because The Angstmobile weighs nearly as much, smokes as much, and thanks to the exhaust leak, SOUNDS like a locomotive…
    – Chrome Chicago White Sox logo on the driver's side tailgate pillar – the angles match nicely, and I gotta rep the South Siders.
    – NIN logo sticker centered under the CHMSL. Because a NIN sticker on family vehicle freaks people out, it seems.

        1. I learned something new today. IIRC, the colors are the same as SBS' old logo, which is an open book from a different angle. I was unable to find a color pic of it in a quick search.

        2. It's hilarious how many people have those on their car that have no idea what they mean. All they know is that it's "JDM yo".
          The other one that gets me are the 17 year olds with "Advanced Driver" tags… "Advanced Driver" in Japan essentially means "Senior Citizen" in the US… ie this person is so old their ability to drive may be impaired, look out.

      1. I paid the exorbitant sum of $400 for it in Powhatan County a couple of years back and drove it home. I got the Rambler for free down there later the same year.

  2. My current vehicle is rather naked, as was the last one (I had a Mickey Mouse antenna topper on it for a while, as my mom's condition of me getting the car as a hand-me-down, but it disappeared). The Cavalier (which still sits in my driveway) wears a sticker for my college's annual auto show, and a Future LeMons car decal. I suppose I could transfer that to the Civic, but I'm afraid what it would do to my head gasket, and if that would void the warranty.

    1. Oh, man, In-N-Out Burger. When I was last in California, I made it a point to go there. I figured that, since it's exclusive to the west coast, I live in MIchigan, and I've heard of it, then it must be really good. I was not disappointed. They need to open one in MI.

    1. Even though he's still alive, I imagine Bill Watterson's rolling over in his grave.
      Then again, with all the mindless Calvin stickers out there, graverolling Bill Watterson is the most viable green energy source we have available to us. Which makes it evil in the eyes of those with said Calvin stickers.

  3. No stickers, wraps, license plates or anything, and for a reason: my luck is bad enough as is, so the last thing I need is to piss off some barely-stable sociopath because he thinks Bell's Two-Hearted is swill or because the admissions dept at my college didn't recognize his genius or because the ex-girlfriend who won't return his calls also listened to the Hot Snakes.
    Now where'd I put that tinfoil hat?

  4. Other than a dealership sticker that I have not yet had the patience to remove, there no stickers on my cars. The Priuses I regularly see seem to come standard with Obama election stickers though.

    1. It's either that or "Namaste" or "Co-Exist" bumper stickers. Last time I got cut off by a Prius it has some Buddhist slogan on the bumper, something to the effect of "chill out man." Hypocritical hippies are the worst.

      1. Last summer I got stuck behind a self-absorbed bitch yapping with her friend while blocking traffic. She had a "Coexist" sticker on her car. Finally, I got out and asked her if she could move before I make her not exist.

      2. Last winter I had to drive through 1.5 feet of fresh snow (in the Eagle, fortunately) to get around a Prius driving douche who was parked across (90° to the flow of traffic) the one plowed lane while her husband shoveled the contents of the driveway into said plowed lane. When I honked and told her she was number one (in the time-honored manner), she rolled down the window and hollered something back at me. When I asked her to repeat it she hollered "peace and love, man". I told her she was a disgrace to hippies everywhere and should do the world a favor and suck a tailpipe. F*cking Ann Arbor neo-hippe dirtbags…

  5. I have an alumni plate frame for the college i went to. Just added a small discreet magnet with the school logo. I removed the BMWCCA sticker since I haven't joined yet. Need to add the NRA, USPSA, and GSSF stickers to at least the truck.

  6. the SPG has a few:
    black Tail of the Dragon logo on LR quarter window
    "Carolina" cling on back window, CC parking sticker on back window
    "Svenska" country sticker in license plate tub, to the right of the plate

  7. I've only had one car with a sticker on it so far. My old Toyota lowrider had a car club sticker on the front windshield – Lowco. I have a "Legalize Freedom" sticker, but I feel like putting that on my truck would be like asking to get pulled over every day.

  8. Nothing. I figure cops can be of any affiliation out there, why run the risk of pissing them off and eliminating any chance of talking my way out of a ticket.
    I have contemplated a Left Lane Drivers "Move Over" windshield decal… but it just doesn't seem right on an Altima.

  9. USA7s "Tail of the Dragon" Sticker on rear glass of Pilot. Lotus Club (US sticker) on side glass of Pilot. L7C UK Club Sticker (finally fell off) on side glass of Pilot. Kids' school sticker on Civic Hybrid. Nothing on e60. The old Superlight only had USA7s "TotD" sticker on rear and USA7s.org on rollbar. New/old Seven will probably have USA7s "TotD" sticker or the Christian fish symbol (that would be a first for me, btw…)

    1. Will I be banned from the site for pining to take my stupid 2005 Freestyle on the TotD? I keep thinking this is something I need to do, but then I worry about becoming a rolling chicane (FWD + CVT FTL). The '97 T-bird might be a better choice. The Angstmobile would get me killed. But those are the only 3 at my relative disposal – drat. I need to plan a weekend and just do it – even if I can't properly hoon it the first time, I so badly want to drive it.

      1. It's amazing place. If it was not 14 hours away, I would be there all the time. Go.
        I would take whatever gets you there, then try to bum a quick ride through with a local if possible. I might be able to arrange one for you. I cannot guarantee you won't puke, though.

        1. It's only about 6 or so hours from me – definite there-and-back-in-a-weekend territory. I'll have to plan ahead a bit. Hitching is a great idea… I wonder how many serious types can be conned into schlepping a spare tire (and its attached Italian goomba) on a spirited run?
          Hmmm. I should get the wife to come with me in her car, we can trade seats for timed runs, or at least make tongue-in-cheek comparisons.
          Yes… I can't claim specifics right now, but I *will* do this at some point this summer!
          Maybe we should pick a date for a Hooniverse meet-up? Call it HoonFest 2010. Gotta start somewhere (and besides, we can't let Jeff and Rob and Tim and all the left-coasters have *all* the fun now, can we? Flyover States, Unite!)

  10. My Camry has the following:
    1) Arsenal Stickers for Fathers work.
    2) Parking sticker for where I work.
    3) Parking sticker for where my Mother works.
    4) Parking sticker for my sisters Uni.
    5) Parking sticker for my alma mater.
    6) Tag frame for my alma mater.
    7) Alabama Crimson Tide front tag.
    I think that is it…

  11. The '60 Apache has some old '80's and early '90s aftermarket stickers on the rear glass from Holley, Edlebrock. The E21 has the shop name on the roof in two spots which is covering up some paint that started to chip and I got lazy and didn't fix…..yet.
    The rest of them are naked. No stickers or anything.

  12. I only have 3 things in the back, 2 apple-stickers, 1 from my G4 iBook and one from my Macbook pro, and finally the coolest sticker you can put on any car : the nurburgringsticker that you get to put on your car after you've used it to do a lap on the nurburgring… the greatest honor for a car ever 🙂

    1. Nurburgring sticker on the back of my EuroVan too. Drove the 'ring last September in a rental Seat.

  13. Before last Wednesday, I had a FuelSlut.net sticker center glass and a local snowboard shop sticker to it's left.
    <img src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a317/ssurfer321/IMG_1426.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">
    <img src="http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a317/ssurfer321/IMG_1425.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">
    Of course the new glass is naked.
    Word of advice: use caution when tossing railroad ties into the bed of a truck 🙁

  14. I've got a Tiki hanging from my rearview that my sister brought back from Hawaii, and that's the TB's only decoration. I have actually considered removing all of the factory adornments, leaving only the bowtie on the grill and wheel centercaps. Maybe one of these days.

  15. A "University of La Verne" cling at the bottom middle of the back window and the original Mercedes-Benz quality inspection sticker at the bottom left (if you're looking from the inside) corner of the original windshield.

  16. Now that I think about it, I have a bumper sticker from some east coast cop union that my dad gave me years ago, and a "National Day of the Cowboy" bumper sticker from the feed store, on my F100's rear bumper. Kinda schizo. Oh, and the toolbox in the bed (it was free at a yard sale, I gave the guy a buck to help me load it) has a bumper sticker that says "IT STAYS UP LONGER WHEN YOU DO IT IN CONCRETE."

  17. The only decals I have on any of my cars is a 24 Hours of LeMons sticker in the center bottom of the rear window of my LTD, and Ford Falcon GTHO "Super Roo" stickers in the rear quarter windows.
    Actually that's not true, my Crown Vic (which I am in the process of selling) has a "Ford Police Vehicles" decal in the back window too.

  18. My family always supported some car decorations, starting with my brother covering my mom’s Subaru GL front bumper with army men when he was 16.
    That was followed by a white VW Pickup with 4 different (and brightly) colored wheels.
    The 88 Toyota 4×4 has seen some different iterations, but currently sports a blacked out hood center and roof, 3-foot PLAYMOBIL sticker on the passenger side, 3 rows of “kills” car outlines from a Mini ad, and a large Rainier Beer “R” on the hood. Yes, it may sound disjointed and random, and it is, but it’s awesome.

  19. My truck has a "Question Authority" and Racing Code on the back glass right behind me so they don't screw up my vision. I had a couple more BMX stickers, but they all cracked up and feel apart

  20. I wish I had a good picture to show it off, but one of the only stickers I've put on a car was a cut-up "D.A.R.E." sticker where all it said was "RESIST." It was black with white lettering put on the back of a black pickup so it was pretty cool.
    I don't go in for stickers much, really.

  21. <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/smokyburnout/DSC05248.jpg"&gt;
    My car wears no stickers, just patina and a three-pointed star.
    I've been considering one of the Gottlieb Daimler signature stickers that newer Benzes wear on the windshield, even though he died 79 years before my car was built. I also want to get a fake employee parking pass made up, for like the Bluth Company, or Venture Industries, or Stark Industries, or Wayne Industries…
    Found this sticker under the hood of a Passat once at work.
    <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v648/smokyburnout/05-09-09_1256.jpg"&gt;

  22. On my Porsche, the only decorations are the oil change stickers left there by previous owners, and a Geico sticker in the left rear quarter window. There's one oil change sticker on the windshield, with a date in 2003, and at 54,000 miles. Unfortunately, the odometer is broken at 52,000 miles.
    On my Caravan, there's the parking sticker for my high school and a Sierra Club sticker, both in the rear window. The Sierra Club one is for the ironic value, because the Caravan gets 18MPG, and burns/leaks a lot of oil.

  23. On my '55 Chevy, I have a "Moroso Sport Compact Technology" and "SCCA" sticker on a cracked window I'll one day replace. I think both are hilarious every time I look at them.

  24. My car is naked as the day it was born, with the exception of a small UVA icon in the rear-est part of the rear window.
    In my mind, I have a ton of stickers I'd like to have, based on my own experiences. To wit:
    "Brakes are for people who can't steer."

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