Every kid today thinks they’re either going to be president or dance naked on a scene. Short of these accomplishments, the minivan represents the ordinary life of old; a house, kids, a common job. Imho, this odd hate for the normal is pretty temporary, especially considering how many young adults struggle to find their way into the labour market and emancipation. Why people tend to raise themselves by lowering others is a strange phenomenon – but I honestly think that there’s a niche for every taste and need today. The minivan is not dead yet.

The demise of the minivan came about when minivans stopped being mini. Take for example the VW type 2, which had a 94 inch wheelbase, and 178 inch overall length. Compare that to a Toyota Sienna today, which is 200 inches long, has a 120 inch wheelbase, and can weigh over 4,500 pounds.

the minivan is unpopular in part because it is associated with mothers, rather than with parents. the station wagon was just a sedan with more space; dads drove them, moms drove them, kids were handed-them-down. minivans are 100% inextricably associated with moms (feel free to add your preferred sport prefix). yeah yeah, you know dads who drive them, whatever. minivans are associated with mothers, period. mothers of multiple young kids in particular. and that is perceived as a distinctly “uncool” period in one’s life.
a contrast: however they’re actually used, the basic form of the pickup truck is still driven by function. pickups drive like garbage and look like things for work. yet they’re “cool” enough to get King Ranch editions that cost like 70 grand. why? because trucks are often driven by men with disposable income and spare time. a culture of ride-pimpage is inevitable. that has spread to other people: pickup trucks are way more of a personal luxury item now than they were thirty years ago amongst all ages and genders. people see their trucks not as tools, but as vehicles for self-expression.
so when will the utilitarian, function-driven minivan become cool like the pickup truck did? probably not until young mothers get some spare time and money.

That Ford Ad. Oh my.
Button Down Shirt? Glasses? Cut his hair himself by putting the #2 comb on the clippers? Mustache? (You didn’t need to ache-k). My Dad. 1985. And yes, he drove a brand new Dodge Caravan. Red on red. (Actually: he had two: the first one was a lemon, and Chrysler replaced it a year into ownership. Both red on red. MOPAR OR NO CAR!!1!)
Why did he drive that vehicle? It was practical, and he had three year old me, my little brother and my older sister to haul around. We didn’t fit in the MG he sold when Mom was pregnant with me. I still feel the need to apologize for forcing that choice upon him.
But that’s it. He sold the British roadster for some family man practicality. As others have pointed out, what you drive is a big part of the image you project to the world. It’s part of why “must be awesome” is near the top of my requirements list for vehicles I buy. The projected image is one reason why I drive an aging Jeep Wrangler when I could afford just about whatever I wanted. I like what that choice implies about me.
Finally, my Dad’s mustache is way better than the model in the ad. Way better. He rocks the hell out of his ‘stache. It’s the one part of the legacy of the family facial hair that I have not been able to pull off.

Minivan image problem solved – at least around here. And by ‘here’ I mean ‘Hooniverse’.