Ever looked at a dilapidated FWD car and suddenly … PAH! … it hits you that the majority of the sheetmetal and a couple of the wheels are just dead weight? Wouldn’t it make hooning that boring Suzuki Swift much more fun, dangerous, and most of all, dangerous, if you just hacked off the back end? Hell, you could horribly pervert Colin Chapman’s words and say that you’re “adding lightness” while “subtracting sanity.” In any event, you’ll be happy to know that lots of folks have had the same idea as you, and that natural selection works a lot better when it’s not cheated by dumb, blind luck. Click through for a selection of some half-cocked half-car half-sanity.

Half Civic Semi-Excitement

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOS5uI8h-pA[/youtube]
Actually, that jackass wasn’t really doing all that much with his heavily modified Civic. Slap some Mugen stickers and a double-decker wing on his forehead (where else?), and then send him backwards into a Hummer H2 at full speed, and we’d be considerably happier. Since that doesn’t happen, consider it an appetizer for the main course.

Suicidal VW Terrifies Woodland Creatures

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I__4wuGLTAM[/youtube]
Yeah, now we’re talkin’! This nutjob cares not for his safety, hooning the living crap out of this half-Jetta. Endos, driving at a decent clip backwards into a tree, slamming down on the ground really hard … this guy is a danger to himself and others, taking the hoon factor off the charts. He should be forcibly restrained and his license revoked. Awesome!

Trabant Antics

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWA3hSFEEs0[/youtube]
They lose points for the casters, but chopping a Trabbie in half is kind of like bitch-slapping Manfred Gerlach with a hand wrapped in a star-spangled glove. Your revolution is over, Herr Gerlach. Condolences. The bums lost. … The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Gerlach? The bums will always lose!

The Causual Audi 100 Half-Car (for the Casual Hoon)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1IVSBBQIjA[/youtube]
Ok, so it’s not exactly the right vehicle to escape from a zombie infestation, but for a little casual around-town hooning, this might be the ticket. Audi quality (and unintended acceleration!) coupled with a tweaked power-to-weight ratio make two wheeled Audi cruising effortless. Perfect for dates!

GM A-body Does Zombie J-Turns

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvlQKb5sckk[/youtube]
Watch this monster lurch out from behind that van. Hide the children and get your tetanus shots, the zombie Pontiac 6000 (?) is coming, and it’s so angry it’s going to do j-turns! Bonus points for twilight hooning with one ominous headlight.

Even Half a Swift is Like Nails Across the Blacktop

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Idpksr-u40I[/youtube]
Even sawn in half, the Swift/Metro is an annoying little ride. This one gets an honorable mention for being the only sled on the list to be a definite fire hazard, what with all that sparking, but boy, is that scraping going to get on the neighbors’ nerves. All I have to say is, if I had this in high school, no one in my town would have gotten any sleep at all from 2am until dawn while I tackled every cul-de-sac around.
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