Lest you not get the joke, be sure to check out Murilee’s continued series over at Autoweek. Anyway, today we’ve got a pair of projects that tempt with their awesome updsides, but even the “just leave it ugly and get it running” path may require serious work. Hellacious quantities of work, if you will.

Starting with my personal pick, we’ve got a 1963 ½ Ford Galaxie fastback. It’s a “Z code” (high-compression) 390ci V8 backed by a four-speed manual. Adding an awesomeness multiplier is the bench-seat plus four speed combo. It’s in “all there” condition, but technically so is the Titanic. It’s got classic signs of long-term outdoor storage and water intrusion: a rusted out trunk and wrinkled-up interior vinyl. If it’s just an interior re-do and some patch panels it’ll still take five years, that’s not too bad. Let’s just hope the frame’s solid. The seller describes the condition as “not in a hateful state”, a phrase I’ll be stealing. $3,500 buy it now, auction ends Friday.

We’re light on air-cooled Porsche expertise here, but the common knowledge is that clean examples go for crazy money and people get angry if you modify them too much. Luckily, neither is an issue with this ’68 912. We’ve got a shell with what looks like just cosmetic rust issues, no engine and whatever transmission a 912 came with. It appears to have received some rear flares and possibly other stylistic updates. Seeing as though it’s already gutted and pre-lightened by oxidation, your first weekend of prepping it for race car duty has been covered for you. After that, you’ll just need to source like everything a motor, some patch panels, a cage and some race buckets. No reserve and bidding’s at $2,850 as I type this.