I usually abide by the old saying “Don’t feed the trolls” as well as anyone, but sometimes a troll captures the essence of his or her audience and presses their collective buttons in the perfect order. One CraigsList “seller” from downstate Illniois decided to press the buttons of the American Pony Car crowd. While this button-pressing falls short of symphonic subtlety, but I’ll applaud its concerto-like efficiency. Despite having only 200 or so words and one photo, it’s a trolling masterpiece. See the ad text after the jump.
[Source: St. Louis CraigsList]
“Hello, I have a very unique and one of a kind 2004 Mustang V6 for sale. It is in mint condition and has a Voltron Mark VII body kit imported straight from Tokyo. The body kit itself cost me around $8000. It also comes equipped with race paint, it is painted with a special blend of paint that is around 20lbs lighter than regular paint. The inside has been replaced with Recaro bucket racing seats and the dash has been custom painted with chameleon paint. This car is a quality show car and has won over thousands of awards. This car also has a lot of money invested in the engine. the last time i dynoed it, it made close to 950 horsepower. It is Tri-Charged (only one in the world) with 2 stage II Zordong turbochargers and a Kenne Bell supercharger. It has a 900lb shot of NOS too. This car will do 0-60 in under 3 seconds. and it can run 1/4 mile in 9.35 seconds and 202 mph. I have also topped this beauty out at around 233mph.
If you are interested call or text me”
What’s your favorite part? Is it the obscure 1980s cartoon reference? The weight-saving “race paint?” Maybe it’s the Zordong turbocharger, which is best said aloud for the full effect (though it’s no Zmokin’ Zupercharger).