Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Welcome to our Wednesday staple, that collection of all things drivable but deleterious, Craigslist Crapshoot. Last week I asked for you to dredge up ads for the worst exotics, and boy did some of you dig deep. We’ll have last week’s winner after the jump, but first we need this week’s assignment. 

While last week I had you looking for exotics, this week I want you to pull a Rockford and look for the bottom feeders, the thrift-store, entry level cars that are still cheapening up the place. I want Plymouth Breezes, Daewoo Lanos,’  Chevy Chevettes, and Toyota Echos. The only thing is, they need to be strippers, the smallest motor and the cheapest interior the better. Oh, and like every week, they need to be running and able to be licensed for the road.

Another bit of housekeeping, as reminder of how to keep your crap nominees from getting caught in our commenting system’s spam filter, and hence not getting seen, make sure you’re following the following:

  1. Easiest way to not get caught in the spam filters is to create an IntenseDebate account. If you do so and your posts aren’t appearing, let us know at tips@hooniverse.info and we can put you on the whitelist
  2. If you don’t want an IDC account, you can create a wordpress.com account and do the same thing.
  3. If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link
Craigslist Crapshoot doesn’t work if your candidates don’t get seen, so hopefully following one of these options will ensure that the floodgates of crap are fully open. And speaking of open, follow me through the jump to see last week’s open-top Craigslist Crapshoot winner.
Usually what we’re looking for in the weekly dumpster dive are cars for sale that could be be described as fright pigs – cars and trucks that are obviously someone’s money pit that they can no longer feed. The most common aspect is that they are so terrible that even for free they should be avoided. This week’s winner – found by  OA5599 – definitely should be avoided, but not exactly for the reasons detailed above. Instead, this exotic Corvette should be given a wide berth due to both its nose bleed high price, and batshitcrazypants presentation. The fact that reading the ALL CAPS ad is like – in the words of JayP2112 – getting punched repeatedly in the nose, is just icing on the crap-flavored cake. Check it out below, and way to go, OA5599!
 
1969 CORVETTE- 427--4 SPEED--PROTOTYPE
 

147 Comments

        1. I go with "Custom" and if that doesn't turn anything up I move on to things like lambo, moded, modified, tuner, donk, etc.

        2. I found this week's winning entry by searching the cars/trucks-owner section, using the term "ferrari" and a max price of 10000. It was pure luck that the filter couldn't tell the difference between $10K, and the $100K the seller would like to believe his car is worth.

          1. You don't need to add extra Bananas into a beer, just brew it with the right yeast and it will be bananatastic, silly brewery.

          2. That is delicious beer. I was skeptical when it was recommended to me… but it's very tasty

          3. Same here. I tried it a couple weeks ago. I was at the liquor store looking for beer to bring to a BBQ, and I felt like like trying something new. "Banana… bread… be… eh, what the hell." Grabbed a 6-er of that and a 6 of Longboard just to be safe…
            It had a very unique and smooth flavor that went surprisingly well with BBQ flank steak.

      1. It should be noted that I didn't see the stripper model part of the original post, yet still managed to find a definite stripper.

    1. Last week it was the squirrel. Now this. Your neighbors seem to have a problem with the definition of "car".

    2. It looks like the young lady got her ride – according to the link "Oops… Too late! This listing was so awesome that it's already gone."
      So which one of you guys ….. err, never mind.

  1. I just like the way this guy opens the ad:
    "Hella miles: 268xxx
    Lowered: so it rides like crap, imagine a forklift.
    Two tears in the interiors leather, both on seems. repairable.
    Cracked windshield.
    A/C & heater blower motor out: both a/c and heater work like champs, but the blower motor died at the beginning of this winter. repairable.
    Orange hood with a decal on it. repairable, lol."

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3F33Hc3ld5I95Ke5J1d1q69ac994f4b1112c7.jpg&quot; width="500">
    http://stockton.craigslist.org/cto/3573803260.htm

    1. Absolutely great! "Rides like a forklift" should be a sticker sold in 100-packs to people who like to scare a parking lot.

      1. Dude… if we jump on it now, maybe we can make "Rides Like Forklift" the new "Because Racecar."
        Edit: In fact… we could even market it to those who already bought the "Because Racecar" stickers for max lulz.

          1. I don't entirely hate them anymore…
            In 15 years, hipster kids will be all over them.

          2. In 15 years, it'll be ironic to drive a Lexus sedan. Aztek: too obvious.
            Scratch that, its ALREADY ironic to drive a Lexus sedan.

      1. On the Aztek, did you have to step UP from the base model to get black plastic cladding instead of body color?

    1. Reposts are totally legit. If it's still for sale, it's game. The triple axle Suburban got posted four times in a row or so.

  2. I like the spamwords the seller used. So choice.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ed3Ma3p15L75Kb5Jcd2id309ceedd5db1ca9.jpg"&gt;
    "(slab..donk…fleetwood..sedan.deville..eldorado..chop..top..drop..top..convertible…candy..kandy..swangs..hotrod..drag car..bbc..sbc…tubbed..pro street..slicks…bracket..car..grudge..car..)"
    <a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3627773202.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3627773202.html

    1. There is so much story behind this… Yet nothing is said.
      That ad is like a beginning of an automotive themed round robin.

    2. Hey, one of our esteemed Hooniverse Editors should call John for details (it's in the ad) and do a write up on this.
      How many cars were used to make this one? How Toyota engine and transmission?
      Or maybe just, why?

    1. I like how he has the jaunty frenched plate, but didn't fill in the actual plate slot. It's like some sort of artistic statement about registration costs causing people to stop registering badly modified Civics.

    1. Seller might take?: 3500 cash
      YVR to AUS: Rs. 2,12,731 (why is that the default). Also round trip tickets are ~60$ cheaper.
      2265mi / 20mpg hwy = 113 1/4 gal * 3.21$/gal in Salt Lake City (about halfway) = 363.53. But that's not premium…
      driveable-making suspension work in Austin: Nuts.
      Tax and Canadianization: Um…
      = Aw, screw it.

    1. I like that the owner of an Exklerized Vette is looking for a Smart as a trade.
      I saw a Smart at an intersection yesterday. Beside the brand emblem, the owner had added a decal that said "ass".

    1. Of all the things in the world for which there truly needs to be a picture of the entire car…
      Seriously, do these people just kinda arbitrarily point the camera in the general direction of the car and poke at the buttons until something happens? How hard is it, really?

    1. I saw the pic, and assumed a 350, and thought that would be pretty sweet. Reading the ad, I see that it’s actually a 3800, and that somehow makes me like it even more. I wouldn't have actually wanted it if it had a 350 in it. I’m lucky that thing is so far away from me. I want it. It’s far enough away that I can fight the temptation. If it were within, say, 100 miles of me, I’d at least be calling on it.

      1. Agreed, I am not a fan of V8 powered Chevettes. This is just right, although I wouldn't object to dropping a Buick 3.8 of the turbo persuasion into it.

    1. "Diamond Plate Steel was added to the trunk and the top of the car to prevent the heavier dancers from denting the top. :)"
      That's a mental image I could have done without.

  3. A pig with makeup, just about everything is new, but the gearing is "weird". Driver's seat may need a replacement.
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/2/vertical-3/19/0/399/396/70_413081749_xl.jpg"&gt;
    Volvo 240
    540$ for a two seater Space Wagon and a seven seater Space Wagon. The latter one has just passed inspection and is good to go, but the engine is making weird sounds. The two seater with green license plates is used "daily".
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/2/vertical-3/16/8/397/620/28_1262221599_xl.jpg"&gt;
    …and I have to end the post on something rather cool again. A guy selling three non-running SAAB 99 and a '85 Mazda 929 station wagon. Holy crap! I want every single one of them. Price is the decades-old "cash for clunkers" money of about 450$ each.
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/2/vertical-3/20/0/399/552/30_439250430_xl.jpg"&gt;

    1. I remember the death of Daewoo when the last of the dealers were doing BOGO deals. Seriously buy one get one free (for parts)

    1. A kid that works for us has one of these as his first car, except banana yellow. Gets a lot of attention!

    1. Shit. I actually kind of want a Maverick, and this one looks really nice for the price, and Lima is less than 100 miles from me. I have a self-imposed hiatus on buying cars for 2013, and things like this test my resolve.

      1. It is damn nice looking, I'd drive this into Cars & Coffee with a big shit eating grin ear to ear. An unmolested Maverick/Comet is becoming a rare thing.

  4. Did you hear about the Candy Rambler (that looks to be a decapitated coupe)?
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E13K53J75N95K85Jdd2k455db9132c251f3e.jpg"&gt;
    http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/cto/36310953
    Or for two-wheeling types, how about a maximum vert drive squidmobile?
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3G53Ke3M55I75F55H6d278f328ce7c5c71359.jpg&quot; />
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/cto/3600524749.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/cto/3600524749.html

    1. If that frame has no structural rot and the drivetrain is serviceable, that's probably $500 worth of project starting point.

  5. <img src=http://images.craigslist.org/3E43L63pb5E15Fc5Jcd2ka080c145f7ff10e3.jpg width="600">
    <img src=http://images.craigslist.org/3K73m93lf5Le5Nc5F3d2k95075ed2f8311120.jpg width="600">
    <img src=http://images.craigslist.org/3I33Jc3H85I55K25M3d2kf21d85dc03141ee2.jpg width="600">
    <img src=http://images.craigslist.org/3G13F13Jd5Kd5F85Mcd2kda28b58db5ac1829.jpg width="600">
    This one is a 5 speed, must be 4 cylinder, and the spelling in the ad is just shocking!
    http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3631190732.h

        1. Thanks for the help man! That's what I love about this site, everyone is super friendly and helpful!

          1. I'm sure I knew what I meant to say there. Just that my mind and my typing fingers didn't agree.

  6. Found a "Deawoo" Lanos, but not a base model. Automatic, leather, even a rear wiper and power antenna!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K73k73Ld5E35Fc5M2d273b42d2785dca16cb.jpg"/&gt;
    "it is good looking car … problem timing belt broken" http://worcester.craigslist.org/cto/3601089508.ht
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ke3I93Lc5K75Hb5Mdd2h845b7c4d04931a2e.jpg"/&gt;
    "Turbo" meant "base model" back in the 80's, right? http://hartford.craigslist.org/cto/3624132321.htm
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E63J83H45I65N85G5d1g1012e5f7bbb21e3b.jpg"/&gt;
    "Needs" is a base trimline that you see often on Craigslist.
    "car breaks necks … if you got money and wanna see the in side let me know inside is pearlescent too" <a href="http://longisland.craigslist.org/cto/3550665593.html” target=”_blank”>http://longisland.craigslist.org/cto/3550665593.html

    1. I wonder if that's the same diesel Escort I found last week. It's the same color, but this guy's is relatively clean, and he actually took a decent photo of it, instead of a blurry picture through a kitchen window of a car covered in snow. On the other hand, it would be weird to have two diesel Escort wagons in one city so it must be.

    1. I happened upon an All-Trac S/C Previa during the last blizzard, and I actually considered it for a bit because it'd be better than what I have in the snow while also checking off so many boxes (Mid-engined! Supercharged!), but sub-20 MPG is a dealbreaker.
      Is that an Impala front bumper?

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