Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

They say there’s an ass for every seat, and that heartening vulgarity is the likely reason that there exists in the world so much crap on the likes of Craigslist and other online classified providers. And THAT’S the reason we have Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly commenter compendium of crap that rivals a George Romero movie for its panoply of horrors.

last week I ask for a specific kind of crap – that being the worst road-worthy convertibles you could find for sale across the world’s classifieds, and boy did you deliver. We’ll get to the winner of that contest after the jump, but before we do we have some housekeeping to do. First off, no snipe hunt this week – we want all the crap that you can find. Just remember that the cars or trucks – or three-wheeled paper maché toads – need to be runners and licensable for the road.

The other thing is that it seems a good number of your responses are getting caught in our commenting system’s spam filter, and hence not getting the exposure they so richly deserve. There are a couple of ways to make sure your voice is heard – 

  1. Easiest way to not get caught in the spam filters is to create an IntenseDebate account. If you do so and your posts aren’t appearing, let us know at and we can put you on the whitelist
  2. If you don’t want an IDC account, you can create a account and do the same thing.
  3. If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link
Craigslist Crapshoot doesn’t work if your candidates don’t get seen, so hopefully following one of these options will ensure that the floodgates of crap are fully open. And speaking of open, follow me through the jump to see last week’s open-top Craigslist Crapshoot winner.
This week the award for Craigslist Crapshoot goes to Hoon Extraordinaire, FuzzyPlushroom for his contribution of this disturbingly macho-ized Geo Metro. Way to go FP! This one pushes all the right buttons – it’s a driver, its top goes up and down, and while these cars were generally terrible to begin with, this one gains extra points for its ill-considered modifications and need of “inner rocker” work. 


Convertible geo metro - $1250 (Acworth)


Source: [NH Craigslist]
We don’t normally do second place, this typically being like horseshoes and hand grenades, but this week we’re making an exception. That’s because this ’71 Impala found by fodder650, also warrants mention. That’s by virtue of its price, painter tape and drop cloth weather protection, and ad’s use of the term ‘breaks’. Well done to you as too, fodder650.


1971 impala convertible - $5500 (Pottstown, pa)




    1. I'm trying to convince a Malaise lover on G+ to grab it. It's a collectible and even has the 70's bubble wrap seats! Add in a stick shift and its a steal at $2000.

    2. And you can re-enact the Prilosec OTC commercial that stars Larry the Cable Guy! Awesome!
      It's in Victoria (a German-settled town) where you first start to see palm trees, headed toward the Gulf.

    3. I want this. A 2.3 turbo with the Volvo DOHC head conversion, a T-5, and some subtle suspension upgrades….
      Could be the best little sleeper ever. That thing looks to be in just insanely good condition.

  1. And now a dilemma.
    See I have the $100 Project Stella Mustang… and I was finally going to get down to work on it next month. I was pricing out engines and parts but then I find this looking or crap for this article.
    So for the price of the engine I could have a running convertible with the wrong transmission?! Crap I made a promise to Stella's previous owner I'd fix her up.
    <img src="; width=600 />

    1. I had a worse one, bought for $700 with its second hood crunched in and one headlight shattered and dangling. One rear wheel arch disintegrated completely; it was made of Bondo, which I overlooked at the time of purchase… because the time of purchase was at night, in January, in Maine. Oh, and it needed a head gasket sooner or later, the PCV system was clogged as is usual, the throttle stuck and tried to kill me (and then the accelerator pedal bracket broke, and I had to work the throttle by hand between shifts) and I replaced the ground wire on the starter with a piece of bent aluminium wire.
      When I sold it, I drove it 80 miles with almost no brakes, downshifting to 5 MPH and then standing on the pedal to engage the barely-functional rear calipers. Traded it for a 244 that promptly required a clutch and an alternator. I still got the better end of the deal.

  2. <img src=""&gt;
    Here's a celebratory Metro! (Cheers, Graverobber!) Surely not the worst thing out there, though, because…
    <img src=""&gt;
    …the ad for this Subaru is a comedy goldmine, and being in Everett, it may or may not be legitimately owned!
    And on that note…
    <img src=""&gt;
    …how about the world's fuzziest Kia? This one's almost guaranteed a sketchball history, too, being in some inner-city wrecking yard and, well, being an older Kia.
    That said, I actually feel like this is the scariest contender…
    <img src=""&gt;
    Old Benz, good… low mileage, that's nice… kind of creepy and possessed-looking, even the right colour for Christine… what do you mean, 'short distances'? 'Mostly for parts'? Oh no. Ohhhhh no. No way.
    Not crap… just terrifying.

      1. Believe me, I wondered that, too.
        I'm hoping for a 'terrible ad' competition. Now that I'm living closer to the city, there's a lot of illiterate foreigners in addition to the usual illiterate rednecks.

    1. I would pick a lot more towns that are way creepier for automobiles than everett. I knew a guy in high school from revere who had a fun insurance scam going. He and his buddies would push cars they no longer wanted off piers and claim they were stolen and collect on them. Rinse and repeat. Lowell and Lynn probably have their own stories of automotive hell. Hell, brockton alone probably beats them all!

      1. I live in Lowell at the moment.
        I'm also drinking at the moment.
        This isn't a coincidence.
        I'd definitely say Brockton has 'em beat, though. Jamal here would like to sell you a set of dubs… odds on 'em being stolen?

  3. Oh, and probably the best thing I have ever seen on Craigslist, ever.
    1988 Volvo 740 GLE sedan – $350
    "$350 hard price! Runs fine, only 185K right now and will quite possibly run for another 100K. A/C works great. It is standard and has a fairly new clutch put in."
    <img src=""&gt;
    <a href="” target=”_blank”>

    1. Those are pretty rare with a manual (four plus overdrive)… and for the price, you can't go wrong. Why do you not already own this?

        1. Looks like there are foot rests added up front, so it's monkey style. However, that still leaves plenty of room for some testacular ergonomic discomfort against the gas tank.
          It took me a moment to spot those foot rests. Part of that time was overcoming the shock from trying to figure out how you bend your arms that way…

          1. I've never understood ape hangers, on anything. But on this poor GSXR, they make even less sense.
            Of course, nothing about this makes sense.

          2. Oh yeah. There was so much dafuq coming off that picture that I've tried to hit the +1 on it at least five times. Alas, only the first click worked.

  4. A $14,000 1983 Chevy C20?
    <img src=""&gt;
    Ok, so once you read the ad a little you can tell (if you can get over the caps lock) that there has been a ton of work done, and if everything works as well as advertised, it really may not be that bad a price. But the lead pic sure makes you wonder why the steep price. <a href="” target=”_blank”>

      1. We've had a couple already with that Cruiserbusa bike and the unfinished Merc widebody. We still have six more days to look as well.

    1. Why have all of the major manufacturers not come up with this idea before? Every truck needs a door to get into the bed. This guy is an automotive genius. Chrysler needs to hire him, right away. Or maybe Mitsubishi or Suzuki. He could save those companies.

    2. And the winner is… Want to park this thing outside a club Saturday night and watch drunken people trying to enter the back seat. That alone would be worth the money. Wouldn't it?

    1. So are we going to note the date is wrong? Someone doesn't know how to set up their old digital camera.

    1. Must really like Cavaliers, since there's a 4 door in the driveway.
      My babysitter when I was little had a crappy 4 door with so much junk inside you had to rearrange the crap to make a spot to sit. I don't think I will ever be able to keep that image from coming to mind anytime I see a Cavalier.

      1. That's in my old neighborhood, he owned it over four years ago and also had a Sunfire at the same time. I laughed as soon as I saw the pic.

  5. I'm adding this one not because of the horribleness of the vehicle- it's really not all that bad, but for another grammatical preference of many craigslist posters that I don't quite understand.
    Look past the all caps, and you'll see "CUSTOM HOUSE OF KOLORS PAINT "LOTS OF METAL FLAKE", ". The outer quotes are mine, the inner quotes are his. Why do people quote their own words in an ad? Or maybe this was a statement of a friend, maybe someone came to see his newly painted truck and said "wow, LOTS OF METAL FLAKE." I mean, they fucking screamed that, because they were so surprised. But at least tell me who said it.
    <img src="; width=500>

    1. In today's economy, the market has been driven more towards a two rear axle. I have a buddy who's an expert on multi-axled motor vehicles.

    1. It's for turbocharging. You put the intercooler behind the lower inlet, and in the winter, well, MOAR POWAR!

    1. Apparently I hit some of the meth. Derp. I should probably make an account so I can edit mistakes like that.

    1. You are playing this game splendidly, but wrong. Please continue to do so! Some of the vehicles you find are great.

  6. I have a confession: I secretly love really tacky 80s truck paint jobs.
    There, it feels better to get that off my chest.
    <img src=""&gt;
    <img src=""&gt;
    Also, I seriously hope there is a typo on the line where he says "Over $130,000 invested" <a href="” target=”_blank”>

    1. Looks to be a rather nice clean Cutlass V-8 that somebody added 442 decals to. The interior looks normal. I could think of worse ways to spend a few grand.

  7. Ok, first thought when I saw this picture was learn how to keep your fingers out of the picture.
    <img src=""&gt;
    Then, I thought it might have been a clever non photoshop way to block out the license plate. Then I saw the picture of the front, and decided he just needs to learn to keep his fingers out of the picture.
    <<img src=""&gt;
    Link: <a href="” target=”_blank”>

  8. Alright here's my last post. Now I'm not posting it because it's crappy, in fact it's kind of cool in a weird way (just the way we like it in the hooniverse), but it's 34,900 dollars. Now, that's quite a bit of money, and it's probably a fair price for what it is, but my question is why is this on Craigslist? Who would need/want one? As far as I can see it's only practical use is for tours; that's not a very big niche market, and the consumers of that market probably aren't on the list of Craig. Although, I'm sure there are some pretty awesome, unpractical uses for it…maybe an old-timey party bus.
    <img src=""&gt;
    <img src=""&gt; <a href="” target=”_blank”>

    1. I've seen them used for weddings as well as tours. I believe we may have one or two that run through the town of Hershey as well.

  9. This Geo wins because he wants 10500. Because Insano!
    <img src=""&gt;
    Collector Geo: 1991 Geo Metro LSI Convertible 5 speed manual. air condition app. 113K. Runs excellent, two small dings in the body. Convertible top has a couple of small patches. 40 to 48 miles per gallon. Serious enquires only. Will not answer emails. $10500.
    <a href="” target=”_blank”>

    1. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry. Mostly I'm going to cry. Then realize he will get this much for it when gas hits $5 a gallon.

    1. Normal people use wallets. Keeping cash in your hand is a great way to get mugged by someone with a creepy painted van.

    2. If that were closer, I'd at least take a look. The paint is easy to remedy, and $1200 isn't a bad price for a runner. Plus, the bull bar makes it look like it has serious A-Team potential.

  10. This is something I've never seen nor heard of — a Chevette-based kit car. I know the Pinto oily bits have been used for kit cars, with the front suspension design being particularly popular with its double-a-arm goodness, but the Chevette? I thought that car was little more than a Malaise-era punch line.
    <img src=""&gt;
    <a href="” target=”_blank”>

    1. It was mostly a Malaise-era punchline, but I expect the trio of Diesel Chevettes above to actually sell. At least as parts cars. The diesel Chevettes have a following amongst a particular crowd of hypermilers (fuel efficient, good starting shape, low mass, etc).

  11. Just kidding about the 4runner in my previous post. I'd get this instead:
    <img src="; width="500'/">

    hey, im selling my 94 gt vr-4 AWD "twin turbo" 6spd. the engine makes a noise. i got it checked by a mechanic and he said its rod bearing noise, its gonna need a lower block rebuild. the car still starts, runs, and is drive able.

    147,000miles and it's pre-blowuppinessed. You know it won't crap out on you right away or soon, because it already is! Only $3000.
    EDIT: Also, I figured out another great CL keyword search to find contenders. Can you figure out my secret?

      1. hahahahaha. Nope. (But that one would probably work great, the real answer turned up a number of them.) I posted three things right in a row, only the last is a Mitsubishi.

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