Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. For last week’s challenge I asked you to say J-Day-Um, and find us some ads for Japanese sedans that came with DOHC engines.  The Rising Sun nation raised a slew of such beasts, and we’ll find the brightest one right after the jump. But first, this week’s quest! 

You know you should look both ways before crossing a street. Some cars also offer points of egress that are equally harrowing. Those are the cars I want this week. That’s right I want Suicide Doors. They say that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Well, I want all those problem children.

And, as usual, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Follow any of the following advice and you’re crap will be known far and wide.

  1. Easiest way to not get caught in the spam filters is to create an IntenseDebate account. If you do so and your posts aren’t appearing, let us know at tips@hooniverse.info and we can put you on the whitelist
  2. If you don’t want an IDC account, you can create a wordpress.com account and do the same thing.
  3. If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link
Craigslist Crapshoot doesn’t work if your candidates don’t get seen, so hopefully following one of these options will ensure that the floodgates of crap are fully open. And now, let’s make the jump and see who picked the sedan that offered the most Sake-to-me.
Considering Japanese sedans from the past 20 or so years, it perhaps would have been a bigger challenge to have you find one that didn’t have a DOHC engine, as pretty much everything that comes from a Japanese maker that has four doors seems to also have at least two camshafts. The thing of it is, not all of those cars have been super successful, and in fact some of them have come to be almost forgotten.
 
An example of one of those lost to the annals of time cars was found by vroomsocko, and that is a 1992 Mazda 929, a car that was originally the marque’s range topper. The 929 lasted through a couple of iterations before being replaced by the Millennia. That car had been intended to be part of Mazda’s upscale Amati brand, but when the company’s plans for that new marque fell through, they had to find room for the car in the Mazda line up. That meant so long 929 and pretty much the rest of us forgot it existed along with Mazda.
 
Thanks to vroomsocko we are reminded that they’re still out there, and they’re pretty cheap too. 
 
craigslist_crapshoot_07_08_13
Image source: Dayton Craigslist
 

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105 responses to “Craigslist Crapshoot”

    1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar

      Dayum, son. That's 72 feet of woofers!

      1. Eric Rood Avatar

        I've done the math and that's enough bass to fill 3-3/7 football fields!
        Math is hard.

        1. desolit Avatar

          And hes asking 22000 for it! what the hell is wrong with caprice owners these days?

    1. mac350 Avatar

      Love the old Lincolns!

    1. Tim Odell Avatar

      Whhhhhhyyyyyy?

      1. $kaycog Avatar

        Thin air in Denver……..not enough oxygen to the brain.

    1. BAMacPherson Avatar

      If so, then bring on the Saturn Ion!!!

      1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar

        Also a number of full/extended cab trucks.
        Maybe it's best not to stretch that definition too much…

        1. pj134 Avatar

          Yeah, technically these are called clamshell doors.

          1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar

            But… but… SEXIFIED….

    2. racer139 Avatar

      That add is all f*¢¿£d up. Ive had this car for a year and a half, later on it mentions it has given him years of service. Also screws holding the rear bumper cover on and red covering everything man.

    1. cruisintime Avatar

      You can be sure the blister in the center of the hood is from a little fire. Still,a big block Ford for $1250. is not bad.

      1. dukeisduke Avatar

        I love the Beak Birds. And those wheelcovers later appeared on the Mercury Grand Marquis, only with different centers.

    2. guest Avatar

      In my 42 years, this is the first time I've ever seen this model.
      Or maybe I blocked it out.

    3. HTWHLS Avatar

      talk about lead sleds..this one is already down..

  1. mdharrell Avatar

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00U0U_1btIvfxCtB1_600x450.jpg&quot; width="500">
    All four doors are suicide. As a bonus, so is the project.
    http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/cto/3972769224….

    1. Sjalabais Avatar

      3250$ is a bit stiff. I guess the "250" are his bargaining margin? Still, when I see a vehicle like this, I immediately start dreaming about putting it on a modern chassis with a moderately powerful engine – and driving the thing to kindergarden and work. And back. What's wrong with me…?

      1. mdharrell Avatar

        Not enough garage space?

        1. Sjalabais Avatar

          For starters, definitely.
          =8^)

          1. mdharrell Avatar

            I certainly don't disapprove, but just how many starters do you have, anyway?

            1. Sjalabais Avatar

              Haha, way too many!

    1. cruisintime Avatar

      What is wrong with this picture?

  2. acarr260 Avatar

    1973 Beetle with suicide doors and 17" wheels.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3t93Kd3s15Ga5K55Fbd69d519e7e396fe146c.jpg&quot; width=500>
    He wants $15k for the custom Bug… and I don't think his wall 'o trophies comes with the car.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3r63I93qb5sa5qa5tad69c1e122ea8b5b1928.jpg&quot; width=500>
    Link: http://cnj.craigslist.org/cto/3860311486.html

    1. cruisintime Avatar

      Most likely the trophies came from craigslist and garage sales.

  3. acarr260 Avatar

    Custom Audi A8L for $35k – don't worry, he has double that invested.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00y0y_2SqUvTPGGU0_600x450.jpg&quot; width=500>
    There has to be a Detroit joke in here somewhere: http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/cto/3969227106….

    1. Eric Rood Avatar

      You could buy (several) entire blocks in Detroit for $35K:
      http://oldsmobuickranwhenparked.blogspot.com/2013

      1. acarr260 Avatar

        Either one seems like a suspect purchase. I guess you could at least grow something on land in Detroit. Who wants to start a co-op?!

    2. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar

      Jeebus… and I thought the newer Audi grilles were bad….

      1. acarr260 Avatar

        It looks like it would slide and dice anything that gets near it. I just looked closer at that image – what is that in the background with Lambo doors?! It looks like something that left the factory as a Charger…

        1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar

          That is indeed what's left of a Charger. Looking at what apparently comes out of that shop, I fear the fate of that Mini, as well as that currently clean looking mid-60s Malibu, and what I think is an Impala or Caprice….

  4. BAMacPherson Avatar

    1947 Dodge Special Deeeeeeluxe
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/$(KGrHqZ,!l!FFy,VkCGEBReG-NqkBQ~~48_20.JPG" width="600">
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/$T2eC16h,!zEE9s3!Z)4OBReH!EJ6)!~~48_20.JPG" width="600">
    <a href="http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=478071316” target=”_blank”>http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=478071316

      1. acarr260 Avatar

        It looks like it's straight out of Mini Truckin' magazine. Was the mission behind this build to make everything that opened originally now open in a new and inventive manner?! I bet the glove box opens sideways.

    1. BAMacPherson Avatar

      Finally, someone did THIS to an 88 Toyota pickup.
      <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzUwWDEwMDA=/$T2eC16F,!zEE9s3!(JH8BR9Qy-Pfq!~~48_20.JPG" width="600">
      PS. They are only asking TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. <a href="http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=507993196” target=”_blank”>http://novascotia.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAd?AdId=507993196

      1. dukeisduke Avatar

        As we used to say, "You're on drugs, man!"

      2. racer139 Avatar

        Everything on the classic cars section of kijiji Nova Scotia is overpriced!

  5. acarr260 Avatar

    In an effort to bring up the level of classiness that my last two options were lacking, I give you a 1949 Jag with suicide doors for an undisclosed sum of money (if you have to ask…)
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Id3J93N75Lc5I75rdd6r2897ed7371231f3a.jpg&quot; width=500>
    Link: http://detroit.craigslist.org/okl/cto/3899689543….

  6. I Think Not Avatar

    What, no Continentals yet? Hoons, I am disappoint!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3r53s63q85G55s95t5d6j396dec30b5e710cc.jpg"&gt;
    Bonus, this one, while clean, is a bit questionably styled. Nothing from which it cannot be brought back, though.
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3870822984.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3870822984.html

    1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar

      The second post was a Continental. Just a link though, so I can see how you missed it. Don't worry, our hoon cred is still intact. 😉
      I did kinda fall in love with this one a bit…
      <img src="http://oi42.tinypic.com/kcc8pi.jpg"&gt;
      <a href="http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3981306317.html” target=”_blank”>http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3981306317.html

      1. I Think Not Avatar

        Ah, see — I only scan. Ain't nobody got time for posters who refuse to post images!

        1. Sjalabais Avatar

          I think not.

      2. HTWHLS Avatar

        I like this one…a lot! Tastefully done with enough rake to look fun.

    2. acarr260 Avatar

      Continentals are the most obvious answer… and 90% of the results for "suicide" on craigslist auto ads, so I think we would consider those low-hanging fruit. That being said, I've now looked at more ads for Continentals today than I have in total in my life prior to today. Now I want to airbag one and drop in a monster turbo diesel…

      1. I Think Not Avatar

        Yes, I suppose they are, since they're relatively common and had the rear-hinged doors for so many years.
        Still, I love them. Love them something awful. Have you seen Dax Sheppard's Continental? It's a beast, and I'd love to have something similar, although I'd want some sort of monstrous 4-spd manual instead of the C6 auto.
        http://www.popularhotrodding.com/features/1212phr

  7. I Think Not Avatar

    And here's one of those can-we-just-forget-that-was-made, awkwardly-proportioned 4-dr Thunderbirds.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01616_3LClJNzdA4F_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3983843747.h

    1. Devin Avatar

      I genuinely love these T-Birds, but then again I can have odd tastes.

  8. I Think Not Avatar

    Oh, it "runs and drives", does it? And when might be the last time it actually did so?
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00202_d3cN9FOcVgt_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3925420688.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3925420688.html

    1. stigshift Avatar

      Wow, a running flathead V6. That would make it extremely rare. Why can't people understand that a straight 6 is NOT a V6? Always loved the chrome on the '42 Chryslers though. Cool find!

      1. I Think Not Avatar

        It's the same curse that infects many non-enthusiast BMW owners.
        Curiously, I snapped a photo of an "enthusiast"-owned BMW at a car show who also suffered from this ignoramousness, coupled with the popular misconception that the end of the speedometer also indicates the top speed achievable by the car (if that were the case, my Odyssey could also do 160!)
        <img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-yryERyymW08/UeG5XTpme0I/AAAAAAAAIDA/HF_XqbR2J2I/w705-h529-no/P7130199.JPG"&gt;
        <img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-QPWLswUQ630/UeG5XLAeFjI/AAAAAAAAIJ8/ie_SPf75wo4/w608-h810-no/P7130200.JPG"&gt;

        1. stigshift Avatar

          I believe ignorance and tastelessness had a child, who then owned this car. I no longer want my eyes…

        2. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar

          I remember the interior was the best, you should show that too.

      2. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar

        Whenever I hear the term "inline v6," I immediately think of possibly the only engine that could be considered such; the VW VR6.
        <img src="http://i.imgur.com/1UwRlGC.jpg&quot; width="500">

        1. I Think Not Avatar

          Aaand brought to you by the company that, not content with an inline-5 like those feckin' trolls got, hacked off a cylinder and gave the world the asymetrical VR5!

  9. I Think Not Avatar

    When one searches for the keyword "suicide" in CL By-owner, there's a small chance of a sad story.
    Two Thunderbirds, both evidently owned by the same man who just couldn't deal with life anymore, for sale by his widow
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ff3Jf3s25Eb5s15ted686b554f115de41ff7.jpg"&gt;
    http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3857112783.h
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Lf3Fc3J65Kd5q35tad680349763530fc1098.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3857113543.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3857113543.html

    1. RegalRegalia Avatar

      Way too real.

    2. I Think Not Avatar

      I put this up out of sympathy for the woman. If I'm going to start collecting downvotes for it, I'll delete the post.

  10. Sjalabais Avatar

    Suicide doors are for passengers, right? In the rear, where mother-in-laws are located, right? Soviet ones, drinking hard, disappearing quickly, right?
    1955 Moskovich, really just an upgraded Opel Kadett from a stolen German factory. This car is slow with its 1 litre engine, but an historical oddity that is worth preserving. This is a package of a nice, redone and painted car with upgraded cooling, and one vehicle that is a bit closer to the Hooniverse ideal driving condition™. He just calls that one "parts car".
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_1303132431_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_1246818259_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_1197579112_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/8/vertical-3/07/4/424/792/24_523024953_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">
    (You can see from the detailing that the guy appears to consider the parts car way more interesting. I like that.)

    1. longrooffan Avatar

      That is some hood ornament on that flashy one. Wonder if this guy has a hauling story as well.

      1. Sjalabais Avatar

        You're right – but I have no idea what that is. Looks outsized considering the size, origin and market position position of this car.

  11. mac350 Avatar

    Here's a few within driving distance of the house. I don't like kit cars but the Gazelle has suicide doors. The Mercury is very tempting. I didn't know they had rear sucide doors. I was familiar with the coupe but not the 4door.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00o0o_fZmTLNi5q0l_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://springfield.craigslist.org/cto/3956326234….
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01111_c38ByNF2IDF_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://tulsa.craigslist.org/cto/3976973392.html
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00E0E_6LCDNZ0B99R_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://fayar.craigslist.org/cto/3959619922.html
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00t0t_2pX2ZSedPx6_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600"> <a href="http://fayar.craigslist.org/cto/3975164787.html” target=”_blank”>http://fayar.craigslist.org/cto/3975164787.html

  12. mac350 Avatar

    Where are all these hot rods coming from – 1921 Model T coupe for $20,000
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3t53N53H85L25r75t4d79f789800d85c11d5d.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://springfield.craigslist.org/cto/3923766233….
    35 Chevy Delivery for $80,000 – cool car but way out of my price range!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3L93Jc3qc5Ia5s45q6d6c2d782aa82cb91f9a.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://loz.craigslist.org/cto/3865875585.html
    48 Chrysler for $5,995
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00z0z_6LOIlHdMr7B_600x450.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://loz.craigslist.org/cto/3908597179.html
    1947 Dodge for $1,000
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3r73Kf3q85Ic5se5Ffd6t276ce53496431d34.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://littlerock.craigslist.org/cto/3903553417.h
    OK, I'm done – I'm tired and I need a nap.

    1. Sjalabais Avatar

      Wow…the '46 Chrysler appears to be quite a deal. But "undercoated when new" isn't really a selling point for a 67 year old car, is it?

  13. Tomsk Avatar

    I'm digging this '35 Chevy Master Deluxe. Unlike the '35 Standard, the Master Deluxe featured a more streamlined "turret top" body and all-suicide doors on both two- and four-door models (The front doors were hinged at the front for '36.).
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00y0y_bMNXIvncQmh_600x450.jpg&quot; />
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/3972883178.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/3972883178.html

  14. muthalovin Avatar

    This looks ominous:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00s0s_fFbftldlmwg_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    1948 DODGE W/SUICIDE DOORS!!!
    "She's a beautiful 48, come on down and see her. She even has suicide doors! Don't let the red fool you, her body is in great shape!"
    <a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3942285554.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3942285554.html

  15. muthalovin Avatar

    I am enjoying the photos of these suicide-door cars. This Lincoln looks like it wants to GTFO.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00K0K_chcjqpZZZ09_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    1965 Lincoln w/Suicide Doors
    <a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3929743966.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3929743966.html

  16. muthalovin Avatar

    GUISE! This individual can take care of our Suicide needs!!!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00808_cdNMs7OwfLi_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    FOR A GODDAMN DOLLAR!
    suicide doors – $1
    Eat your heart out, Jack.

  17. muthalovin Avatar

    This is actually quite clean. I am impressed.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00a0a_aYcNf7dcDPY_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    Custom Chrysler 300 "Suicide Doors" – $14
    <a href="http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3985630166.html” target=”_blank”>http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3985630166.html

    1. calzonegolem Avatar

      I'd buy that for $14

    2. Tim Odell Avatar

      Looks surprisingly not bad.
      Not gonna bother to click through and have it ruined by the 37 TVs likely stuffed in there.

      1. muthalovin Avatar

        Actually, there is just one interior shot out of the 8 shots, and all it is of is the steering wheel and nav screen. I thought that was surprising.

  18. muthalovin Avatar

    Impressive, but total CP.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00q0q_dyyzykUKEEE_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    1940 Ford Coupe Street Rod – Suicide Doors – $55000
    <a href="http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3983910409.html” target=”_blank”>http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3983910409.html

  19. muthalovin Avatar

    This would be a pretty badass project.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00o0o_9JzZMOFhYiJ_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    1964 suicide 4 door lincoln continental – $5500
    http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3976396261.h

    1. cruisintime Avatar

      The term is Bust your wallet project.
      Never ending spending..

  20. muthalovin Avatar

    Because Redline
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00Z0Z_kwQcmzCzoZ1_600x450.jpg"&gt;
    2006 Saturn Ion Red Line supercharged w\ suicide doors cold ac – $6000
    <a href="http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3901552210.html” target=”_blank”>http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3901552210.html

  21. muthalovin Avatar

    Not to be outdone by 'Flicks crapcan T-Bird:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kd3M33Jd5N15q45H7d6e6746d1d758c214a3.jpg"&gt;
    971 ford thunderbird with suicide doors(4door) FOR SALE – $4200
    <a href="http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3871361079.html” target=”_blank”>http://houston.craigslist.org/cto/3871361079.html

    1. cruisintime Avatar
    2. NotJustDucky Avatar

      Definitely the truck. The car could be rescued fairly easily with some paint work and maybe new wheels.

  22. BlackIce_GTS Avatar

    <img src="http://www.classiccar.com/images/carpict/00008241/Gold-Lincoln–8241_2.jpg&quot; width=500>
    Lincoln Continental Hard Top/Suicide Doors, Gold, for sale in San Luis Obispo, California, for $15,500.
    There have been some Continentals posted already, but this one is gold. You could say it's…
    Suicide d'or.
    I thought of the pun first and then looked for the car. I'm so glad that panned out.

    1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

      As Gold based puns go, that was Au-ful.

      1. BlackIce_GTS Avatar

        Didn't want to feel like I was being yellow, I thought I midas well go for it.

  23. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
  24. zen_monkey Avatar

    <img src="http://webmonkees.com/art/brat/bat.jpg"&gt;
    "1966 Batmobile like on Tv Show BATMAN "- $65000 (Johnson City)
    Reproduction. Camaro based. Probably not 1966 Camaro based. 1/2 average reproduction Batmobile price.
    No word on if the costume is included.
    http://tricities.craigslist.org/cto/3955929985.ht

    1. JayP2112 Avatar

      My hometown.

    2. Sjalabais Avatar

      Just wow. I guess this is speaking to a large and interested demographic. Will sell fast.

  25. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/1948-WILLYS-JEEPST
    Be careful, audio autoplay on that ebay listing!
    "1948 Willys JEEPSTER CUSTOM" (stop yelling please)
    <img src="http://www.motoexotica.com/vehicles/5305/52.jpg&quot; width="500">

  26. faberferrum Avatar

    And now for something more or less off topic:
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/ODE5WDEwMjQ=/$(KGrHqNHJF!FHhl7DCPrBS!UQ-,I0!~~48_35.JPG&quot; width="600">
    A picture of a Ford Ranger for sale on my local kijiji.
    I mean, why bother uploading that? Is it just to show where he parks his Ranger at night? <a href="http://saskatchewan.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-cars-trucks-1994-Ford-Ranger-W0QQAdIdZ510963202” target=”_blank”>http://saskatchewan.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-cars-trucks-1994-Ford-Ranger-W0QQAdIdZ510963202

    1. desolit Avatar

      sorry i forgot it was about suicide doors
      <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00s0s_ksVpnnuQtrK_600x450.jpg&gt;

  27. Pixel Avatar

    How about four suicide doors? That's twice as many as any other car so far, so you're getting more for your money!
    1929 essex – $7000 (lake george) http://albany.craigslist.org/cto/3932817535.html
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00y0y_bRmeayyRmCZ_600x450.jpg"&gt;

    1. mdharrell Avatar

      Nice car, but you may wish to recount the doors on the red '34 Plymouth I posted above.

      1. Pixel Avatar

        I was only getting about 4 out of 5 of the images loading correctly(work internet was weird yesterday), so I missed yours.

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