Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist
Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. 
Performance wagon may seem a contradictory phrase seeing as performance usually demands something light and lithe, while wagons are generally intended to haul copious quantities of stuff. Still, such beasts roam the earth and that’s just what we went looking for last week. We’ll see the best one in a sec, but first this week’s holy grail.
Seeing as it’s summer and many of us might have some vay-cay time saved up, what we’re going to look for this week is a fun car, something that we could potentially gymkhana on the weekends, but also be streetable for getting there and back. I’m guessing that few of us are made of money so let’s cap our initial purchase price and $3,000 (2,700€ or, post Brexit, about 7,000,000£).
As always, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Since we’ve changed commenting systems, you may need to update your commenter account. Make sure you have a Disqus account – they’re free and easy to get – and then comment away.

Got that? Good, Now, let’s get our wagons in a circle.

Wagons…. Hoooooooo!
Who said station wagons and performance were mutually exclusive terms? I know it wasn’t any of us because you all proved that idea wrong last week.
From the very definition of performance wagon—the Volvo V70R as exemplified by the ad found by Andrew_theS2kBore to the plethora of Dodge Magnums found by The Real Number_Sixptschett and Sjalabias there was ass-hauling to spare.
Manic_King brought it with some offerings from Europe, where they take both wagons and performance a little more seriously, while MarionCobretti gave us an AMC Sportabout that I had thought was cool enough to feature on NPOCP a while back. Can’t believe that hasn’t sold yet!
The big Kahuna however—meaning the car in which I’d most like to take the family on a Greek tragedy-worthy odyssey this summer—is the 1970 Dodge Coronet wagon located by Sean McMillan. The audacity of the original styling is only matched by the crazy pink and pink-er paint job. And, with a 318 under the enormous hood the performance opportunities are practically endless.
Congrats to Sean McMillan, and thank you to you all for the excellent contributions. Now, let’s go find us some cheap seats race cars.
1970 dodge coronet wagon

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  1. Andrew_theS2kBore Avatar

    If the idea of an Isuzu Stylus race car wasn’t weird enough, based on the ad text it’s almost certainly a stolen Isuzu Stylus racecar, proving that bad ideas do in fact compound exponentially.

  2. Sjalabais Avatar

    Going off with an Isuzu Stylus really raised the bar. Got to lower it with a sort-of-gymkhanable Trabant. Remember, momentum is your friend. As are ice, gravel and steep hills, at least one way. It has a cage and probably workable seats, but it is lacking an engine. Only 1500€ though, probably with room to spare:$_20.JPG$_20.JPG$_20.JPG

    1. Van_Sarockin Avatar

      An engine-less Trabant? It’s not like anything is really missing, is it?

      1. Sjalabais Avatar

        I approve of the optimist approach. Maybe a Flintstones approach is in order?

  3. mdharrell Avatar

    Would I consider a caged Baja Bug with an “Iron Duke Pinto motor” to be streetable? Yes, I would. Would I also take it onto a track? Yes, I would. That may just be me, but it could also be you for $900.

    1. CruisinTime Avatar

      An Iron duke with no cooling system , what a conglomeration.

      1. Alff Avatar

        That may work on the drag strip, if running alcohol. You better live right next door to the track, though.

      2. dead_elvis, inc. Avatar
        dead_elvis, inc.

        There’s perfectly good cooling air all around it, Mr Fancy Cooling “System”!

    2. CruisinTime Avatar

      Upvote for the WTF factor on this one.

  4. Alff Avatar

    This situation doesn’t sound the least bit sketchy…

    1. Batshitbox Avatar

      License plate ends in ‘GYM’! Totally Gymkana ready.

  5. salguod Avatar

    Here’s a tired looking, but running E30 318is with a spare M50 6 ready to drop in for $1800.

  6. salguod Avatar

    I’ve considered keeping my ti as an autocross car once I move on to a new daily. Here’s another, same year with 40% of the miles and a new clutch (mine’s still the original!). A bit over the price cap, though, at $3,500.

    1. Andrew_theS2kBore Avatar

      Better than you’d expect for something of it’s size. Needs 275s at all four corners though.

  7. Lokki Avatar

    How about a 5-speed Mini Cooper for $1900?
    There was another posted for the same price but I eliminated it because the owner posted a picture that casually included a container of Prestone Antifreeze…. Not that I’m normally a suspicious guy, but….

  8. Maymar Avatar
    If I squint hard enough, I swear I see the V6 badge. And, at $1000 Canuck bucks, there’s plenty of money left over for all sorts of tires. Adversely, for another $1000 combined, there’s another 3 MX-3s on our Craigslist equivalent (at least one of which has the 6). Start your own Spec MX-3 series!

  9. Sean McMillan Avatar
    Sean McMillan

    It’ll take some work to make this roast tires in true gymkhana fashion, but it’s got good bones

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