Classic Captions – The 1965 Plymouth Belvedere II Edition


Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that are set to run this time each week, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week’s image is an accident waiting to happen, but we will get to that in a moment…


Last Week, we had an image of an Isuzu on a Plinth and the responses were back up to the levels we all expect of the Hoons who populate this little corner of the Blogosphere. We had a few great captions, and I’ll start with the one from our friend from across the pond, Rust-MyEnemy who came up with a great caption that tied in with the name of the car” “The Stylus probably wasn’t as sharp as it should have been. I’m surprised it didn’t break all kinds of records.” That deserves a Slow Golf Clap Rusty, so well done!

It was muthalovin who came up with the runner-up position with the following caption, and it was tied in with the name of General Motors Distribution Channel during this time period (responsible for the distribution of Saturn, Saab, Isuzu, Lotus, and Daewoo models throughout Canada), and it went like this: “So, they are taking passport photos? Thanks, guys, I will be here all week.” Yuk Yuk Yuk… You have to admit, the guy is a cut-up!

However, the winning caption was from Alcology, with this very funny line: “Nobody knew where it came from or how it ended up on the dance floor or why it wanted to disco disco all night long. It had classus, it had substancus, it had stylus.” Well done Alcology, well done!

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks image, and it looks like someone is going to get hurt very badly. This image looks like it was part of a Salesman Catalog distributed to all Chrysler Plymouth dealers during this time period. The car is a 1965 Plymouth Belvedere II, which was a new model, a new designation, but made from leftovers. Let me explain: There was a Brand New Plymouth Fury introduced this year (The “C” Body), which was bigger than the previous Fury. The leftover “B” body that was used for the Fury was now available for a new sized car called the midsize sedan. A little bit of a face lift, a new name, and Voila… A New Belvedere. Anyway, what do you think the couple playing on old fashioned, metal wheel, roller skates have to do with the car? Something about how the new Belvedere is more stable than Skates? That the man had better sense when picking out his new car? Or is this image just insane? Let’s see if you can come up with a funny, snarky, or outrageous caption for this bizarre image. (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after contemplating our own caption, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

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52 responses to “Classic Captions – The 1965 Plymouth Belvedere II Edition”

  1. engineerd Avatar

    According to our new arrival
    Life is more than mere survival
    We just might live the good life yet.

  2. onrails Avatar

    Photographer: Darn it, I had the settings all wrong. Hey Chief, they're blurry. Want me to re-shoot this Belvedere spread?
    Marketing Boss: Don't worry about it…the models probably don't want to be associated with it and no one is going to get past the Barracuda in the brochure anyway.
    Corporate Lawyer: Get rid of it! If we burn this one, the poor slob who broke his leg on roller skates has no evidence against us!

  3. P161911 Avatar

    The only way someone would buy that is if they fell into it.

  4. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    Gol-durned excellence, muthalovin!
    Enjoy this Sierra Nevada gem. Hope you like hops!
    <img src="; width=300>

    1. $kaycog Avatar

      Nice one, Alcology! Congratulations! Here's a blue Isuzu for your efforts.
      <img src=""width="500"/&gt;

      1. Alcology Avatar


      2. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

        <img src=""&gt; Hi winners, you were funny! Sorry I'm late this week, was busy, so Skay, and IZM took care of everyone but Chris, here you you go!

    2. muthalovin Avatar

      I need a 4 pack of dis. Thanks!

  5. desolit Avatar

    Next on World's Most Shocking: Best Fails…. a car so beige that it will make you go into convulsions when you realize its next to you.

  6. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    The All-New Belvedere II
    Opening blurry portals into alternate dimensions in car parks everywhere this spring.

  7. Number_Six Avatar

    An attractive, promiscuous young couple leaf through an ancient tome
    Tom: "Place the rollerskates of Cthulu on your feet and approach the Belvedere of Gilgamesh"
    Betty: "Don't go near that creepy car, TOM!!!"
    Tom screams and begins to blur, then vanishes
    Former baseball player Bob Uecker is a sportswriter. A middle-aged British gentleman has just materialized in his living room
    George: "Egads, where did you come from?"
    Tom: "I'm…uh…Mr Belvedere. I've been sent from 1965 to help raise your family."
    George: "You don't seem at all well…"

    1. fodder650 Avatar

      This is beyond slow cap. I was trying to figure out a Mr Belvedere connection but it wouldnt have been this.

  8. skitter Avatar

    With the sensible 1965 Belvedere II, our testing and engineering has carefully removed every trace of a sense of humor.
    Look at that. Not even a smirk.

  9. $kaycog Avatar

    Life became a blur with the introduction of the 1965 Plymouth Belvedere.

  10. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    The day was going swimmingly until they went roller skating and Doug managed to smack the one single car in an otherwise empty 40-acre parking lot. Right there, right then, Tina realized that it just wasn't meant to be.

  11. mdharrell Avatar

    <img src="; width="400">
    "Seriously? Roller skates? No wonder you switched to police work."

  12. Devin Avatar

    Death to Videodrome! Long live the new beige!

  13. Devin Avatar

    "There are worse ways to get around than the new Belvedere II. I mean, not many, but there are worse."

  14. Alff Avatar

    There's no way I can drive with these things on. Where's that brand new key you keep going on about?

    1. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

      Right here.
      [youtube vXCj_t_tBxo youtube]

      1. Alff Avatar

        Thanks for that. I can only conclude that children of today and children of the "Age of Aquarius" are equally annoying. I'm glad for Lindsay Lohan that she's found her second career.

  15. dukeisduke Avatar

    "X Games -36, sponsored by the all-new Plymouth Belvedere II!"

  16. Batshitbox Avatar

    "Really, Dennis? One frickin' car in the whole damned parking lot and you frickin' bee line it right into it? Spaz."

  17. Pidgeonsplatz Avatar

    The Plymouth Belvedere II…faster than a speeding roller skater…in a suit…on a wet parking lot…uphill.

    1. dukeisduke Avatar

      *smacks forehead*

  18. Batshitbox Avatar

    "Uh-oh! Looks like Pilgrim's just about to land on Plymouth Rock!"

  19. Pidgeonsplatz Avatar

    "Honey, you're sweet, you're kind, you're beautiful, and I love you. But a four door & no MAX WEDGE? Sorry dear, I'm outta here!

  20. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick ★

    The all n͖̪̗̭ḛ̠͚͇̺̞̲w̹̪̗͚̞̬̥ 1̹͈͉9̶̯̠̮ͅ6͉5̩͈ P̛̬̞͉̗̜ḷ̴͓y̤̗͎̬̪ͅͅm̺o̲̝͚͎u҉t̖͎̫̹͝h̳͓̤̹̣̫͎͟ B̡̗͉̭͎̼̲̀̕ẹ̸̛l̝͕̭̭̘͡͠e͏͍̫̞͖̦v̻̺͍͠͠e̯̪͝d͏̰̞̗̟̜̼̥̞̠͞e̢̼̜̮̗̫̩͟ͅr̷͍̜̬̣͇̬͍͕e̜͍ ̡̛̱̼͔I͘͏͈̲̰̖̝̜I̞̦̳̝͓͈̯̬͈͟. I͏͖̜̮̱̙͚̖̪̠͓̟̥̞͟͞t̵̛̙̱̲͈̟̫͡ ̨̧̣͖̼̦̘͇͔̯͚̪̣͖̫͇ć̡̜̯̰͙̺͖̗̟̥͔͚͖͎̱̫̼̻͜͞ͅo̵̶̩͓̺̭̯̞̩̳̞̘̦̰̗̱̪̦͡͡͞m͞͡҉̮͉̰̬̺͙͙̜̦̝͉̺̣̥͘e̷̳͔͎̙͔̙͇͠s̸͙̗͉̺̬̠͘

    1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick ★

      Just realized that doesn't work in all formats, including mobile… Here's what it's supposed to look like:
      <img src=""&gt;

      1. Vavon Avatar

        Ah thanks, absolutely not blury now… (whahahaha)

      2. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

        I don't know what the hell I'm looking at, but that's kinda awesome.

        1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
          Scandinavian Flick ★
          1. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

            Dude. Creepy and weird. I don't get how the text thing is associated but one should not desire to umderstand the interwebs.

  21. Alcology Avatar

    The photographer for this ad went on to be a substantial contributor to google's street view.

  22. hwyengr Avatar

    Just when you thought parking at the back of the lot would save your car from scratches and dents…

  23. Sjalabais Avatar

    Let us be clear about it: Gas mileage don't matter on roller skates.

  24. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    Their strap-line was "Hell has't no Fury, so a Belvedere will have to do."

  25. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    The rollerskating accident that ruined William's modeling career led to a hatred of the crass faceless power of modern corporate culture, and bore unexpected fruit ten years later when he penned the script for Rollerball.

  26. ReneM Avatar

    7 days

  27. I_Borgward Avatar

    Mid-life crisis, huh, Fred? Trying to reclaim your lost youth? Well, old pal, roller skating ain't gonna do it. An affair with your secretary? Ain't gonna do it. And a 1965 Plymouth Belvedere? That sure as Hell ain't gonna do it.

  28. Merg A. Troyd Avatar
    Merg A. Troyd

    Pending epic face plant following Raul's double-axle with a full twist while Mindy wonders who'll she'll have to sleep with to get out of this Plymouth ad.

    1. Jim Brennan Avatar
      Jim Brennan

      Heavens to Mergatroyd… It's a Hanna-Barbera Cartoon. (BTW, Love the Screen Name)

  29. stigshift Avatar

    Gosh, Sally, you were right! It DOES handle like it's drunk and on rollerskates!

  30. Toxic Avenger Avatar
    Toxic Avenger

    Roller skates. For when your Plymouth says no no no no no.

  31. man chowder Avatar
    man chowder

    …and then it came to shawn kerri (remember car toons magazine?) THE CIRCLE JERKS LOGO!

  32. Jim Brennan Avatar
    Jim Brennan

    Courtesy Embed from a guy named Keith. Show some love Hoons…
    <img src=""&gt;

  33. Vairship Avatar

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer, pre-TV-deal.

  34. testosterone attorney, Avatar

    Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the
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  35. dui and dwi Avatar

    Whoa! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of

  36. hatteras yachts Avatar

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