Classic Captions – The 1963 MG Midget Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that are set to run this time each week, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week’s image is probably one of the most unforgettable ones yet, but we will deal with that later…


Last Week, we had an image of a Peterbilt in a Rose Garden and the responses were really thought provoking. It was tiberiusẅisë who came up with a great caption this time, tied in with the theme of the image: “Grey Poupon? But of course. 30,000 jars of it.” I think this was the first time tiberiusẅisë was in the running for the Caption Contest, so well done!

However, this time the winning tale was from onrails, and it went something like this: Upper Crust Journal Day 259 – I feel I am stretching my credibility somewhat with my choice of vehicle, but these folks seem to still be fooled. The upright grille, chrome bumpers, whitewalls, and buttercream paint got me in the gate, and when I explained that Peter Rolls and Bilt Royce were behind the engineering of the silky diesel six under the bonnet, the omission of the Spirit of Ecstasy seemed to be acceptable. Now to find my diagram of what fork goes where on the table before my dinner manners give me away…” Well done onrails, well done!

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks image. I thought last weeks image was strange… Well, this is over the top. This was an ad published for Millionair Magazine in 1963, which was produced by the Millionaires Club! This image has it all: A Girl in a Polka-Dot Bikini, Wearing High Heels. On top of that, she’s wearing a Sombrero, while riding a Burro. It’s vaguely car related because there’s a 1963 MG Midget in the image, but the real topper for this over the top image? The caption itself… “Tell her to get off her Burro, and go “Modern””. Let’s see if you can come up with a funnier, snarkier, or more outrageous caption than that… (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after contemplating our own caption, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

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57 responses to “Classic Captions – The 1963 MG Midget Edition”

  1. $kaycog Avatar

    "You have a cute little ass, Tina, but let's go for a ride in my MG."

  2. dukeisduke Avatar

    "When I told the guys at work about my vacation plans, they said, 'Bob, she'll ride your ass all the way to Mexicali.' Is this what they meant?"

  3. Alff Avatar

    Don Pedro's attempt to develop a family friendly donkey show failed so miserably that soon, he was no longer considered the patron of Tijuana.

  4. $kaycog Avatar

    Congrats on the winning caption, onrails! Here's a new Peterbilt for you.
    <img src=""width="500"/&gt;

    1. dukeisduke Avatar

      $kaycog, how much did it cost you to rent that truck for the day?

      1. Alff Avatar

        It was so expensive she had to sell everything but her underwear.

      2. $kaycog Avatar

        It was the other way around. ;D

        1. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

          Volvo does make semis (chortle), will google later…

    2. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

      HA HA HA HA! Onrails, that was frickin' hilarious!
      Hope you enjoy this here Stone Espresso Russian Imperial Stout as much as I have. Sounds weird at first, hey? It is, but it's an awesome kind of weird.
      <img src="; width=275>

      1. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

        onrails, that was really funny and creative, congrats! Here let me slip you this here, thanks google!
        <img src=""&gt; Awwcrap… we're boned now.

        1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
          Dean Bigglesworth

          Thanks… I have fond memories of changing oils in my forks in the middle of winter, out in the snow with numb fingers. That looks like it has air springs, those didn't really exist back when i rode bikes.
          Here's one from 2002… had to sell the bikes later that year.
          <img src="; width="600" </img>

          1. Alff Avatar

            Outstanding photo. You kids and your rear suspensions…

    3. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

      I like you Peterbilt. It's so…. White.

      1. $kaycog Avatar


    4. onrails Avatar

      Away from the computer for 3 days and come back a winner. Woo hoo! Thanks everyone!

  5. OA5599 Avatar

    Betty had noticed the bumper sticker on George's car, so she showed up prepared for their ride.
    <img src=""&gt;

    1. dukeisduke Avatar

      It's funny (or is it scary?), but I was thinking of that bumper sticker last night.

  6. toxicavenger1 Avatar

    So then I told her get off my ass!

  7. Synchromesh Avatar

    That's a nice ass but let me show you what 46 red horses of fury can do!

  8. Devin Avatar

    "George, I'm leaving you. You don't respect my ass and I've seen you running around with that bitch."

  9. P161911 Avatar

    Spot had seen what was going to happen next and walked slowly away as the two tall men watched.

  10. bostondairypigs Avatar

    "I told Bob I'd give him some ass if he'd take me for a ride in his new car. It's not my fault that he misunderstood me."

  11. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    The British proclivity to cling to odd units of measure is demonstrated in this picture, showing the practical difference between one and 45 Asspowers.

    1. P161911 Avatar

      Actually that should be 45 AssPower, 1 Dalmation power. It took the British until 1971 to decimalize their money, units of power were still confusing in 1963.

  12. P161911 Avatar

    This wasn't the kind of Midget the two tall men looking on expected to see in the Tijuana Donkey Show.

  13. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    With SafeSearch on, this is the only result for “Midget and Donkey.”

  14. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    Thirty seconds after Nigel made that stupid joke about touching her ass, Merideth was smiling down at his dead, trampled body, and wondering how to get bloodstains out of upholstery.

  15. muthalovin Avatar

    I have heard of the Donkey show down in Juarez, but the Midget, donkey and dalmatian show? I know where I want my bachelor's party.

  16. dwbf11 Avatar

    So THAT'S how they used to play Pogs!

  17. pj134 Avatar

    Donkeys, not sheep, because we're English, not Welsh.
    The Midget, by MG.

    1. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

      HA HA HA HA!

  18. CalculatedRisk Avatar

    MG Midget: The car that makes all asses look big

  19. skitter Avatar

    Everyone always thought Tina would be the first to get married.
    But the first time George and Bertha's eyes met, it was love.

  20. danleym Avatar

    This is one of the strangest advertising images I've ever seen. I have nothing.

  21. oldcarjunkie Avatar

    The salesman did tell me this MG would get me all the ass I could handle …

  22. NothingHappens Avatar

    It's not the first time she's been astride his ass whilst he's been inside a midget.

  23. P161911 Avatar

    "The Aristocrats!"

    1. fodder650 Avatar

      Now which comedian would you have saying it? I'm going to go with Bob Newhart.

      1. 0ToTuttiFrutti Avatar

        Bob Saget, for sure. Nobody is sicker, and more unexpected, than him.
        I think this caption is the clear winner.

    2. Alff Avatar

      Oh… well done.

  24. boostedlegowgn Avatar

    British Leyland: if you're into spotty, you'll love our take on reliability.

  25. fodder650 Avatar

    Well come on where did you think Lucas smoke came from?

  26. JayP2112 Avatar

    I want to go there.

  27. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
    ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

    There wasn't enough cocaine to rotoscope Ralph Bakshi's Seven Dalmations: Midget Gidget.

  28. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Does this MG make my ass look big?

  29. Steven Avatar

    Honestly…this photo does not require comments.

  30. XRSevin Avatar

    Bill had always dreamed of the day he'd be parked in a sports car fondling Hazel's ass.

  31. 98horn Avatar

    "The donkey show: you're not doing it right"

  32. pwned88 Avatar

    The question is, which one's making a bigger ass of themselves?

  33. dr zero Avatar
    dr zero

    I haven't got a caption, but I do have a new desktop.

    1. Alff Avatar

      Now try explaining it to the coworkers.

  34. 4doornomore Avatar

    Carnac the Magnificent: "Name three things unlikely to win a race…"

  35. stigshift Avatar

    Sadly, the language barrier kept Akira Kurosawa's attempt to remake "Donkey Ho Tay" from ever being released.

  36. TRACKRAT Avatar

    "No, I'm sorry, my ass is not for sale!"

  37. Reddy Kilowatt Avatar
    Reddy Kilowatt

    I understand why he's got her wearing a bikini and a sombrero. I don't understand why he's got the burro wearing a sombrero. I don't want to find out why he has one more dog-sized sombrero. I'm out of here!

  38. bigsmooth72 Avatar

    "get off of that beast, get in to my car"

  39. seo un-hyang Avatar

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