Classic Captions – Mazda RX3-SP Edition

In pursuit of interesting contest fodder, Classic Captions photos tend to skew cheesy, with awkwardly posed people standing around stationary cars. Well, this is foremost an enthusiast site, and sometimes you just got bring out the speed. Here’s a crossed-up, rotary-powered, pre-zoom-zoom ’77 Mazda getting downright rowdy out on a twisty road. Hell yeah badass. But the flame tracks? What’s that about? Other than pointing out that that’s some damn fine pre-Photoshop photographic manipulation, I will leave further interpretation up to the commentariat. What humorous or profound (but most likely just humorous) comment can you come up with to fit this illustration?

1978 GMC Motorhomes_08At the opposite end of the performance spectrum, last week’s entry focused not on speedy, visceral thrills, but luxury: the sumptuous interior of a GMC RV and a relaxed mountain-gazing couple. The always sly dukeisduke tied for the most votes with his hilariously inside-baseball comment, “Don and Barbara stared out at the beautiful view of the Ozarks, with the Queen City in the distance. Barbara the psychic predicted, ‘Thirty-eight years from now, that olelongrooffan will immortalize our GMC Motorhome in a Long Shots article on Hooniverse.’” Sharing the top spot but sourcing humor from a totally different cultural reference was smalleyxb122’s Futurama-flavored comment, complete with accompanying illustration: “You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread.” Very appropriate, and well done. Congrats to you both.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

  1. 0A5599 Avatar

    Mazda: Finally capable of 88 miles per hour.

  2. The Real Number_Six Avatar
    The Real Number_Six

    Unbeknownst to onlookers, winning the 24 hours of Lemons Index of Effluency at the Thunderhill Arse Freeze-a-Palooza was only the second-greatest moment this particular RX-3 enjoyed at that venue.

  3. P161911 Avatar

    Why is the Pinto driving around opposite race direction? !?!

  4. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is… don’t worry about torque.

  5. GTXcellent Avatar

    After extensive testing, Yokohama decided that magnesium radials are not a good idea

    1. 0A5599 Avatar

      Those are Firestones.

  6. Wayne Moyer Avatar
    Wayne Moyer

    Truth in advertising – waste oil is flammable and the ad shows how fast it comes out of the car.

    1. The Real Number_Six Avatar
      The Real Number_Six

      Wankel rotary motor: a tire fire in your wallet

  7. Batshitbox Avatar

    Hey, Dave! I think I found out why your rotary is using so much gas!

    1. PaulE Avatar

      Damned external combustion motors…

  8. theskitter Avatar

    Who says rear wheel drive cars can’t deal with snow?

  9. PaulE Avatar

    The Mazda RX-3SP: The SP stands for ‘spinning pyro’.

  10. Batshitbox Avatar

    “A yellow stripey car that leaves yellow stripes on the road? Our prayers have been answered! We’ll take four, please.”

    1. Wayne Moyer Avatar
      Wayne Moyer


      1. Batshitbox Avatar

        Yep. I was going for a reference to the yellow stripes in the center of the road, and the awesometastic stripes on the Mazda. I should have let the Editorial department spitball a few more ideas before posting Christian Hair Metal bands, but I had to get to work.

        1. Wayne Moyer Avatar
          Wayne Moyer

          I was looking at it from a different angle. I was trying to figure out how the RX3 was the devil since the album was “To Hell with the Devil”

  11. Van_Sarockin Avatar

    When you’re ready to burn your bridges. And everything else.

  12. P161911 Avatar

    Somehow the meaning of “burnout” was lost in translation.

  13. HuntRhymesWith Avatar

    The Mazda rotary engine: Now you don’t need to buy a Ferrari to experience external combustion.

  14. engineerd Avatar

    Jesus might have built your hotrod, but the devil built my ricer.

  15. dukeisduke Avatar

    Thanks for the hat tip, Tan.

  16. Sjalabais Avatar

    Eats Pintos for breakfast, leaves fire.

  17. SlowJoeCrow Avatar

    I can’t come up with anything clever, but I remember seeing this ad in Road & Track as a kid.

    1. Tanshanomi Avatar

      I remember reading the magazine tests that said the SP package really wasn’t all that impressive — not that much of an improvement.

  18. Fuhrman16 Avatar

    Wow, this is what I’d imagine asking 8 year old me to draw a car advertisement would look like.

  19. salguod Avatar

    I have no caption, I just need to know where to find such a bespoilered and bestriped Mazda. It is awesome.

  20. njhoon Avatar


%d bloggers like this: