Classic Captions Holiday Bonus – 2014 Honda Grom Edition

2014 Honda MSX125 Grom
It’s Labor Day in the USA today, which means most Hooniversalists are out somehwere, eating grilled food and hopefully blasting around in a boat, in their car, or on their bike. But for those of you who are in other nations, forced to work today, or simply don’t go outdoors, here’s a bonus edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest for you.
I’ve been holding onto this image for a while, unsure of what kind of response it might generate. It’s only a couple years old, so it’s not exactly “classic,” and bikes in general are a bit of a niche interest on the ‘Verse. But today is a bit of a throwaway, site-traffic-wise, so why not? It’s such an interesting throwback in this era of political correctness and liability fears: here’s a manufacturer’s press photo showing rider doing a burnout while a morsel of cheesecake (fresh from filming a Busch Beer ad, I’d guess) looks on enthusiastically. As for the significance of the ceramic dog and the pop-up shade tent, your guess is as good as mine. In one nod to modern litigiousness, the rider is admittedly pretty ATGATT.
Surely, there are a couple of clever captions for this photo already popping into your head.

1979FordVanLast week’s Ford Van ad really brought out the baser instincts of our commenters, as one would expect. Tiberiuswise took top honors with the opening comment, “Good job guys. You can hardly tell where it used to say Free Candy.” (Not so amazingly, GTXcellent posted almost the same comment at almost the same moment. Low hanging fruit, indeed.) But second place went to inveterate yukster Alff with a comment that at least limited itself to consenting adults: “I bet we could make some good money filming ourselves doing it in the van as it drives around. If only there were a way to easily distribute the movies.”

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  1. wunno sev Avatar
    wunno sev

  2. 0A5599 Avatar

    Bill, my eyes are up HERE!
    Ok, forget my eyes. You can stare at my boobs.
    I have a nice ass, Bill, you like that? Look.
    What about my shapely legs?

  3. Fuhrman16 Avatar

    So stunned was Suzan’s chihuahua by Brad’s ability to do a burnout on a 7 horsepower bike that it turned to stone.

  4. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    I don’t understand the Grom. In these days of ever faster cars and motorcycles, the Grom came out of left field as the rebirth of the monkey bike. It’s not very fast, and it’s incredibly impractical, but everyone seems to love them. I don’t understand.
    And I really don’t understand why I want one so badly.

  5. Manic_King Avatar

    Biker to the (plastic?) dog: “see, I can scrape sand over my sh!t too”.

  6. P161911 Avatar

    No matter how much noise Bill made with the bike, he couldn’t get the dog to move.

    1. 0A5599 Avatar

      Or the rear wheel, apparently. Not a bit of blur in that photo. Smoke machine off-camera?

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

        Look at the oscillation in the chain slack. I am guessing it’s simply a high shutter speed.

        1. 0A5599 Avatar

          I thought perhaps the chain slack was an optical illusion from all the lines intersecting at varying angles, but it does indeed look like they shot with a slow motion camera.
          What are the odds the dirt was placed on the ground by an art director or stunt coordinator for more photogenic burnouts? The cross street looks a lot cleaner.

  7. Tiberiuswise Avatar

    In the punctuation matters department, here’s how I read your congratulation:
    Last week’s Ford Van ad really brought out the baser instincts of our commenters.
    As one would expect, Tiberiuswise took top honors with the opening comment.

  8. CruisinTime Avatar

    By selling the Harley and buying a Honda,Ed was able to afford a girlfriend for the day.

  9. Tiberiuswise Avatar

    Hoping that Brittney liked big guys on small bikes as much as he liked big boobs on small girls, Steve did his best to strut his stuff. Mindy pointed and laughed.

  10. Lokki Avatar

    In a place where everything he saw was fake -including the dog- Ted’s embarrassment was real.

  11. theskitter Avatar

    OMG much cute! Screech halt! So 3D!

  12. JayP Avatar

    I think I went out with that gal with the plastic dog.

  13. onrails Avatar

    Riding the Grom put Bob out near the fringe. And based on the onlooker, ‘near the fringe’ was a very good place to be.

  14. Alff Avatar

    Hey Discount Tire. Your technician’s lack of attention cost me most of my Labor Day and $150 in parts I didn’t otherwise need. It also cost you. I buy a lot of tires.

    1. BigRedCaveTroll Avatar

      Discount Tire’s new promotion: “Wheel studs 1/5th off!”

    2. Scoutdude Avatar

      How did you spend $150 replacing a stud and lug nut, or is that just the one you could find after the wheel fell off?

    3. I_Borgward Avatar

      Overtorqued, or under? I also wonder what the other 19 (or 15) must look like.

      1. Alff Avatar

        Other side was fine. On this side, others were fine. Tech likely went full torque on this first one then put on the others, stretching this stud out in the process.

    4. dukeisduke Avatar

      Wow, I think I spent less than $15 (gen-u-wine Toyota parts) replacing a stud and nut on my wife’s Sienna a few months back, but I was still annoyed at Discount.
      Why was it $150? Have you complained to the store, and the district office? I’d give them a chance anyway. They’re usually a pretty stand up company.

      1. Alff Avatar

        Cascading effects. Had to bring out the BFH and slide hammer to remove 10 year old rotor and hub, since the brake job only came to my attention yesterday afternoon and needed to be done right then (note to self: drive wife’s car more often). Normally I’d give everything a gentle pickling in PB Blaster over a period of days but my wife needed the car for a long road trip this morning. After my surgical beating, neither component could be reused.

  15. Alff Avatar

    CA 2027. It’s finally done. Bultakenstein looks very different than anyone anticipated.

    1. Rover 1 Avatar
      Rover 1

      For a moment there I thought that you meant it was finished.
      Then I saw the date.
      And got the joke

  16. Mr. Ollivander Avatar
    Mr. Ollivander

    At muscle beach, the bigger bikes always kicked sand at Grom while the cute girls watched.

  17. njhoon Avatar

    A green plastic watering can
    For a fake Chinese rubber plant
    In the fake plastic earth
    That she bought from a rubber man
    In a town full of rubber plans
    To get rid of itself
    It wears her out
    It wears her out
    It wears her out
    It wears her out
    She lives with a broken man
    A cracked polystyrene man
    Who just crumbles and burns
    He used to do surgery
    For girls in the eighties
    But gravity always wins
    And it wears him out
    It wears him out
    It wears him out
    Wears him out
    She looks like the real thing
    She tastes like the real thing
    My fake plastic love
    But I can’t help the feeling
    I could blow through the ceiling
    If I just turn and run
    And it wears me out
    It wears me out
    It wears me out
    It wears me out
    And if I could be who you wanted
    If I could be who you wanted
    All the time
    All the time

  18. Wayne Moyer Avatar
    Wayne Moyer

    50cc motorcycle check
    50cc dog check
    Girlfiend on 50cc of Valium check
    Best life ever check

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar

      Unfortunately, the bike is a 125.

      1. Wayne Moyer Avatar
        Wayne Moyer

        I must be one of the three people who thought the Grom had the little motor.

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