Classic Captions Contest: 1996 Renault Twingo Edition


Renault’s conquistador of the city, the Twingo, was both adorable and also just ridiculous looking simple car. It’s a sight at which you do an almost snorty giggle. At the dawn of the 1990s, Renault hired Jean-Pierre Ploué to design this tiny thing, which at the time sold for nearly $19,000 new in today’s money. Offered initially in one trim only, the Twingo sat four, had a backseat that slid, and was powered by a lifeless engine that made 75 baguette-crushing horsepower. Like any other automobile, the Twingo went through a few minimal refreshes over its nearly twenty year lifespan. Very little changed, and in fact when Renault halted French production of the first generation Twingo in 2007, they still kept building them in Columbia for another five years.

When the last Twingo I happily rolled off the assembly line in June of 2012, it marked the end of a grand 2.6 million unit production run. Laugh all we want (totally warranted) at its circusy styling, but truthfully the car’s been a success for Renault, driving endless amounts of cash into the automaker’s wallet. Now in its third generation, the Twingo III looks actually attractive and eerily similar to Fiat’s 500. And that’s not a bad parallel to be had. History lesson aside, let’s get into the contest.

During our last Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest, Honda’s 1981 Quint played along and showed us so much late 1970s/early 1980s swagger. Here are some of the best entries from enthusiastic readers like you.

“See right there. That’s where I am going to aim when the VTEC kicks in yo!”-Wayne Moyer
“I think we’re lost”
“Oh well, have a drink”
“So where do you think we are?”
“See that mountain off in the distance? We’re right on top of it!”
“I think I’ll have a drink too…”-tonyola

“All this manly effort, and I still can’t see any foxes. Not even an Audi.”-Van_Sarockin

“If we had taken the Subaru we wouldn’t have to walk the last stretch. Let’s just set up the tent and get drunk. (Don’t drink and climb)”-Sjalabais

Diving back into this Boyz II Men-era press image of a ’96 Renault Twingo, let’s scramble up some dialogue for the scene painted above. Use the comment section below as your canvas. Side note, why on earth is the sky that purple?

By day, Robby DeGraff is an industry analyst for an automotive market research and product-consulting firm. Based an hour from Road America in Wisconsin, he once piloted a Suzuki Jimny around Iceland for two weeks alone. Robby's personal fleet includes a bright red 2001 Chevrolet Camaro that sometimes runs, his second Saabaru wagon, and hopefully a Volkswagen Vanagon in the future.

14 Comments

  1. Gerard loved his Twingo so much he named his RealDoll after it. Gerard was not allowed out in public unsupervised.

  2. Each knowing full well that the Twingo seats four, everyone in the group awkwardly shuns eye contact, thus postponing the question of who gets to avoid riding in it back to town.

  3. ANDY: Red, if you ever get out of here, do me a favor. There’s this big hayfield up near Buxton. You know where Buxton is?
    RED: Lots of hayfields there.
    ANDY: One in particular. Like something out of a Robert Frost poem about an Andy Warhol acid trip. Every guy in the county takes his wife there, some leave them behind, I don’t get that part.
    (beat)
    Promise me, Red. If you ever get out, find that spot. In the middle of that field, you will find a car that has no earthly business in North America. A piece of French detritus. You’ll find something in the glove box I want you to have.

  4. “Look, I know what I said about nobody riding free but someone’s gonna have to come up with some gas”

  5. When your girl friend has a twin, sometimes it’s necessary one twingo pick some flowers or something for awhile.

  6. The text *clearly* stated it seated only four, so they shouldn’t have been surprised one of them would kick the bucket on the drive up. Gerard is going to miss his Mom, but at least there are flowers in this field. Nicole is busy picking them, while Andre and Antoinette dig the grave.

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