Europeans have long fantasized about taking over the former Spanish colonial domains, and while I’m pretty sure the Brits never invaded Mexico, this ‘ere Jag seems ready to rewrite history by attempting to pull an Emperor Max and take over the country for a short period of time. And by that, of course, we mean that La Carrera Panamericana is basically calling to this ‘ere Jag-u-ar. And it’s calling to us, too … You’ll have to make room for the navigator by reengineering the equipment (Accusump?) in the passenger seat, but other than that, what are you missing? It’s fully built, rocking a 4.2L plant, making 439 HP (with each of those horses dragging around about 5 lbs). Plus it sounds pretty much like sex, and not the PG-13 stuff neither. Like the armor, horses, and muskets of the conquistadores, the Jag seems like a highly capable tool to decimate its competitors. Unlike Maximilian, whose Hapsburg genes gave him a lower jaw to rival a bulldozer, this professionally-built Jag likely won’t have to worry about any congenital defects, being fairly well-sorted. Just steer wide of any Mexican anti-royalists and lose the distasteful, nouveau-riche “Shaguar” badge and you should be just dandy. To rule a country, $60,000 seems reasonable, no? Fantasy Junction