Hoonicast #9: Butterface Edition

Separated at birth … amiright? Gawd, sometimes I crack myself up. Anyways, in this edition of the Hoonicast, we discuss some of the fugliest sportscars ever to burst into that category and challenge grenade-jumpers to jump. From the bottom-feeding SP250 to Jim’s jihad against the Ferrari F50, we have all sorts of uneducated and baseless […]

eBay Insanity: Certifiably Goggomobil Edition

Orange and angular; tiny and likely very, very slow; associated with two obscure brands and one very well-known one. It’s trippier than ‘Tussin and leaves a trail of blue smoke. VW Thing owners will puff out their chests and pat the fenders, proud that theirs is no longer the ugliest cheapo German car on the […]

The Hoonicast is Coming! The Hoonicast is Coming!

You don’t need to have passed American History to know all about how Paul Revere and the Raiders saved us from a French invasion in 1492. In the same vein, you don’t need to get all bent outta shape like a Honda B-series piston after 4 laps at the Thunderhill Arse-Freezeapalooza because the Hoonicast is […]

Japanese for Heavenly Fastback

The A20/35-series Celicas spent decades upon decades failing to distinguish themselves from various other J-tin penalty boxes running people from dead-end job to trailer park and back, perfectly illustrating the bell-curve that is automotive desirability. When introduced in 1970, the A20 Celica (derived from the Latin coelica, meaning “heavenly”) was a perfect shot across the […]

Burnout Machine, Thy Name is LTD

Our own incorrigible commenter LTDScott demonstrates that the PantherFox-platformed Ford LTD makes for a wonderful tire-melter. Scott, may we humbly suggest you show the 240SX drift kids how it’s done at the next D1 amateur night?

'Kill Kill Kill Kill Kill the Poor' from the Comfort of Connolly Hides

The poor! Disgusting, really. When I drive by them and my chauffeur raises an eyebrow in the rearview mirror, I’ve occasionally rolled down the window a quarter inch and allowed a nickel to drop outside, but usually I deploy the motorized privacy curtains and go back to swimming around in my ducat-filled onboard swimming pool […]

Hoonicast #8: the Fugly Lazarus Edition

Jim is going to track me down and use a flintlock to blow my brains out when he finds out about this … but the objective truth known to all human beings, as certainly as the sky is up or Lucas electronics will let you down, is that the Isuzu Axiom was ugly as sin. […]

Let Us Be Honest With Ourselves For a Moment

The easiest way to talk about the R16 in this eBay ad would be to rave about how much confit de canard and wine that tastes like raspberry jam you can fit in the sizeable hatch area while you drove around town wearing a mime outfit on your way to a Jerry Lewis appreciation event […]

Chuck Taylors with Your Bertone? The Bad Idea Mill Grinds On

I have a serious and vaguely irrational affection towards most of the misfit Gothenburg sleds, even the ones whose complexity and unreliability threaten to knock some of the Italian horrorshows off their Mount Olympian throne of awfulness. The Volvo 780 (by Bertone!) actually straddled this divide, rolling out of Bertone’s Turin assembly plant with some […]