Announcing the 2014 Hooniversal Car of the Year!

The Prestigious Hooniversal Car of the Year award!
The Prestigious Hooniversal Car of the Year award!

You know, if you had asked me to predict this year’s winner, I can honestly say I would not have guessed correctly. I may have had my hopes, but I would certainly not have guessed it. With all the flashiness, the show, the look-at-me attention-grabbing of most of the other nominations, I would not have guessed that the most Hooniverse of all the nominations would actually take home the green participation ribbon coveted trophy.
But there we have it! With a solid number of votes cast — although not as many as in previous years when the forum trolls came stomping through, and I’m just fine with that — the solid, surprise victory was not just verifiable, but decisive. Going through the logs, there was no funny business (except for one vote for the Hellcat that somehow snuck through after the voting closed. Jeff.), and all looked well. There were the usual bugs, possibly due to Defective User Error, but for those who indicated in the comments that they were unable to cast their vote, I added their selection to the tally. None of it made any difference at all.
For 2014, our come-from-behind (tee-hee!) winner is the Hurst Gremlin Rescue Vehicle!
I can’t even hope to express how thrilled I am by that. What with some tempting targets trying to lure your votes away with grumbly exhausts or come-hither glances or giant WWI-era dreadnought engines, it’s satisfying that the most Hooniverse car won. Now in fairness, as some pointed out, this car’s claim to relevance in 2014 was… a bit weak. But you know what, sometimes the claim to relevance is just that this is the year it earned its 15 minutes of fame, and we can allow that. After all, you kind of have to grant a bit of lenience to a car that so embodies Hooniverse. It’s old, it’s rare, and it’s not desirable at all. It’s a work vehicle, built for a singular purpose. It’s an orphan brand, an unloved model, from the Malaise Era, without a whole lot of due care and attention paid over the years.
In short, it’s perfect, and I’d welcome it into my home in a moment.
Congratulations to the Gremlin, this may be the only real award it’s ever won.


  1. Since they were good enough to talk to Jim for the original article, I think sending an actual ribbon* and Hooniverse Gold Subscription official letter is in order. Maybe a Hooniverse sticker for a toolbox?
    *Other participation ribbons will need to be claimed.

    1. Actually, I believe they also told Jim that they didn't need to be associated with our site.. or something like that.

    1. I assume there's no front passenger seat? Or maybe patient's length is limited to whatever the inside width of a Gremlin is… I TOLD them they shoulda used a Pacer instead!

  2. If you went by facebook likes/shares, here's how things broke down:
    1. Targa Truck: 143
    2. Blipshift Volvo: 47
    3. Apache: 23
    4. Beast of Turin: 19
    5. Gremlin: 10
    6/7. Skyhawk/OwnCar: 4
    8/9. Slingshot/Hellcat: 2
    10. Challenger: 1
    Not sure what to make of this, really. Oh well, Nixon was elected twice, so why not a Gremlin.

      1. Hooniverse's Facebook page clearly reaches a completely different target audience, and therefore DOUBLES your ad revenue!

  3. I, for one, am glad to see the most ridonkulous vehicle win. A truly awful little car (shall I tell you again about traveling cross country in its center back seat. With someone's mandatory acoustic guitar on my lap?) Total exploitative advertising vehicle. Insanely improbable for its vocation. Unironically used for its actual purpose for decades. Successfully. Gone to a well deserved, creampuff retirement. Let's also not forget that it was a small coupe. And a hatchback. And a Pacer before it found all the doughnuts. It might not be the best car, but sometimes, the right car wins.

    1. The Gremlin and the Pacer actually share very little as far as the chassis and bodywork goes. Shared components are basically just the drivetrain (and only because the deal to use a GM supplied Wankel fell through at the last minute due to GM cancelling the program), and a few interior and trim pieces.

      1. Oddly enough, I knew that. But, please, deny the fact that the Pacer is not so much more that an inflated Gremlin, tooling aside. Your night in the Pacer will be much more pleasant than mine in the Gremlin, so you've got that.

  4. Good to know that my faith in Hooniverse Hoons is soundly placed. We voted in a vehicle that few, if any of us would own or drive but think is a deserving HCOTY. Forget all the diatribe regarding quickness, cornering, shifting, quietness, paint color or body sculpture. It matters not in the grand scheme of Hoonism. Well done.

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