It’s a typically muggy Saturday in the Midwest and Hooniverse is live from Autobahn Country Club this weekend for the 24 Hours of LeMons’ race. While last year’s summer race at Autobahn was 14 straight hours (unlike the usual 14-1/2 hours over two days), this year’s is the series’ first true 24-hour race since September 2013 and your stupid lucky correspondent is here to walk you through as much as he’s able while balancing the basic needs of working the Penalty Box as a LeMons Supreme Court Justice, keeping tabs on the races on and off the track, and somehow sneaking a few hours of sleep in.

You can keep a browser tab open to Specialty Timing’s live race timing feed and be sure to spend some time reading race previews here and here. The race starts this morning at 10:00 a.m. (11:00 a.m ET) and runs through the same time Sunday morning on Autobahn’s 2.1-mile South Course.
Check back frequently throughout the weekend for updates, as I’ll be adding to this blog. The newest updates will be at the bottom so that someone with an inordinate amount of free time can scroll through and read the  sleep-deprived play-by-play.
All time stamps are Central Standard Time.
8:30 a.m. The drivers’ meeting starts in 30 minutes, so let’s take a few minutes to get acquainted with the some of the cars and storylines from BS Inspection yesterday.

The Mulsanne Straightjackets’ Renault Alpine Le Mans replica is pretty damn convincing. The bodywork is beautifully done (minus some rust, since it’s built on an Alfa Romeo Spider), which is unsurprising because it’s the work of Darren Besic, who also built the bodywork on the Opel Breadwagon GT, the Launcha Splatos, and the We Are Not Really From Iran Ford Festiva (Just google them). The Spider engine and cooling system were being finicky, but these guys have been around the block with these engines and should have it ticking.


There are two GM U-Body minivans (aka Dustbusters) at this race and I’ve cleverly forgotten to get decent photos of one. Morrow’s racing’s Lumina APV (not pictured) features a supercharged 3.8L V6 and a 5-speed swap while the Bad Decisions Racing Pontiac Trans Sport is a standard naturally aspirated 3.8L and automatic. Why is there a Firebird pictured above, too? Because it’s a numbers-matching Trans Am and the LeMons Supreme Court figures the Trans Sport will whomp it.

Zero Budget Racing’s brake-burning Chrysler Cordoba returns with a nice Willwood brake setup and better endurance-racing pads. They’ll battle in Class C with minivans, a first-gen Civic, a Fiat X1/9, Zero Budget’s own diesel Chevette, a Simca 1204, a Subaru XT, and this totally hooptie Oldsmobile Cutlass with an Olds 307 in it. America pictured? Yep, that’s it above there.

The Anonymous Subaru XT Turbo is looking dapper and hoping to improve on their DFL performance at Gingerman in April.

Regular Hooniverse commenter Chris Smalley’s V12 Jaguar returns, as well, hopefully with the car’s brakes and cooling and brake cooling issues sorted. But look how stately that thing looks! Beautiful.

The inimitable LeMons baconista tSoG (Real name: It doesn’t matter) also dredged up his Simca 1204 from the back 40 and brought it sunfaded, patina’d, and looking dapper in the engine bay.

The Rally Rolla Toyota Corolla All-Trac was one of the first cars I ever saw at a race when I went to my first LeMons event in 2010. It’s a little worse for the wear, but it’s great to see these cars at all.

LeMons’ first Hyundai Scoupe naturally blew a headgasket on the Test ‘n’ Tune day before the race. The Wonderment Consortium pulled the head and discovered that not only was the head gasket toast, there was also a channel between the cylinders. Naturally, they packed that channel full of JB Weld and just put the head back on. What could possibly go wrong?

Quite a few teams made long tows for the chance to run 24 hours. OK Speed’s Honda Civic Si has always run as the “Tape R” with liveries made from duct tape. They were torn between picking offensive hot-button issues like the Confederate flag and the Iranian nuclear agreement, so they merged the two to make the General Ali.


TARP Racing’s automatic, convertible BMW E36 towed all the way from Dallas with their incredible Cookie Monster Warlord theme, too (Google that one, too).

The Resistance also hauled their car, a 1975 Honda Civic, up from the Texas. It’s a Honda Goldwing, get it? A Goldwi…

We’ll get to the competitive teams for the overall wins as the race unfolds, but it’s worth noting that Albert from Racing 4 Nickels graciously fed everyone from LeMons HQ this incredible dry-rubbed brisket after inspections closed for the day. That was the highlight of the day for my hungry, tired ass. LeMons teams sure know how to cook right.

And HQ just before that even got a visit from a crapcan-quality luna moth. Neat stuff! That should pretty much get you up to speed, although be sure to check out Judge Phil’s BS Inspection post on the LeMons blog for more.
8:55 a.m. Drivers’ meeting starts in five minutes. The weather is a bit overcast and thunderstorms are expected this afternoon and possibly again tomorrow morning. That should keep it interesting throughout the race. Lightning interruptions will throw a wrinkle for teams to iron out and the racing surface on the South Course gets slicker than snot with puddles when it rains.
9:55 a.m. Cars are circulating on the track now and the race should start any minute.
9:59 a.m. Green flag! The 24 hours begins now with the Mulsanne Straightjackets’ “Alfina Renault” driving first past the green flag.
10:03 a.m. The Automotorworx BMW E34 leads the first lap and Landshark’s Civic promptly overtakes on the second. There’s a long way to go, but I think the Landshark car has an excellent shot at the win (not based on leading Lap 2, but on general preparedness and ability).
10:07 a.m. The UTI Racing Volkswagen Golf came in with a non-hitting transponder, but their brakes were also a smoldering mess after two laps. So it goes in LeMons.

10:33 a.m. The Simca came into the Penalty Box trailing the cord for its block heater, which is perhaps the most Simca thing possible. Meanwhile, three of the contenders for the win have already been in: the #30 Turtle Head Racing E30, the #186 Little Lebowski Urban Achievers Volvo 245, and the #63 Hong Norrth Toyota Supra.
11:06 a.m. The carnage in the race’s first hour is impressive. The Hyundai Scoupe’s JB Weld fix didn’t work, so they’re borrowing a trailer to fetch an Elantra engine donor. The TARP Racing E36’s driveshaft is having issues, Apocalyptic Racing’s Toyota Celica is having issues with their new differential, the Simca’s transmission is shifting wonkily, the Cordoba’s exhaust fell off, the diesel Chevette is overheating, and the Subaru XT blew a turbo. All within the first hour.

11:23 a.m. The paddock is chock full busted cars already: TARP’s crew are looking for replacements, the Anonymous crew are replacing their XT’s turbo, and the Zero Budget Racing/Team Priority Fail paddock is full of broken exhaust, brake, and fuel parts. Skid Marks Racing’s Neon just passed for the overall lead. It’s their first race in a couple years and the car looks as strong as it ever did in the past.
12:27 p.m. Landshark leads overall at about 10 percent race distance with the Canadian Border Patrol Toyota Cressida four laps behind in P2 overall and leading Class B. In Class C, Morrow’s Racing’s Lumina APV van leads by four laps over The Resistance’s ’75 Civic. The Bad Decisions Pontiac Trans Sport van is just two laps behind that with Judge Steve behind the wheel running 2:04 laps.
1:00 p.m. Obligatory photo dump.

1:31 p.m. After black flags for the two leading cars (Landshark and LemonAid’s Geo Metro), the Hong Norrth Toyota Supra leads from the Escort Service Ford Escort. LemonAid rejoins in third. Standings as of now:
 
1. #63 Hong Norrth C (Toyota Supra)
2. #111 Escort Service (Ford Escort)
3. #53 LemonAid Racing (Geo Metro)4. #285 Dai Mondai II (Toyota MR2)
5. #56 Skid Marks Racing (Dodge Neon)
6. #45 United Ducktape Racing (Porsche 944)
7. #44 Landshark (Acura Integra)
8. #181 Team Sheen (Acura Integra)
9. #16 Arrested Adolescent Development Program (Opel GT)
10. #91 OK Speed (Honda Civic), Class B
13. #18 Point-O-Eight (Ford Escort), Class B
14. #37 All Most Racing (Volkswagen Jetta), Class B
15. #881 Canadian Border Patrol (Toyota Cressida), Class B
CLASS C
1. #6 Morrow Racing (Chevy Lumina APV)
2. #666 Bad Decisions Racing (Pontiac Trans Sport)
3. #190 Northern Shiners (Oldsmobile Cutlass)
4. #74 The Resistance (Honda Civic)
5. #33 Tiki Time (Ford Mustang)
 

2:12 p.m. Zero Budget Racing have rebuilt their exhaust and the car is running like…well, like a car.
2:41 p.m. Fully one-quarter of the field are currently in operable in the pits. Morrow’s Racing’s van just lost power steering on the car while the Bad Decisions van is getting a wheel bearing and axle. The engine donor for Wonderment Consortium’s Scoupe arrived just a few minutes ago.
3:23 p.m. A long full-course caution from the Canadian Border Patrol’s engine left its engine oil all over the track slowed the race for about 20 minutes.
3:55 p.m. I’m about to take a break to go sleep so I can work the 2 a.m. Penalty Box shift. Landshark and LemonAid Racing run at the front of the field. OK Speed’s Honda Civic “Tape R” leads Class B by five laps from the Point-O-Eight Ford Escort. In Class C, Morrows Racing leads by 24 laps from The Resistance’s first-generation Civic.
10:45 p.m. I’m alive and the race is halfway done. More than half of the field is broken and/or trailered already. At the front of the field, the race is actually pretty close yet, though it’s entirely possible that the frontrunners are nursing maladies on their racecars. Here’s how things sit.
1. #750 Flying Pigs Racing  (Ford Mustang)
2. #63 Hong Norrth C (Toyota Supra)
3. #181 Team Sheen (Acura Integra)
4. #91 OK-Speed (Honda Civic), Class B
5. #44 Landshark (Acura Integra)
6. #45 United Ducktape Racing (Porsche 944)
7. #285 Dai Mondai II (Toyota MR2)
8. #18 Point-O-Eight (Ford Escort)
9. #555 Sideways to Victory (Ford Focus)
10. #13 Hell Kitty Racing (Honda Prelude)

11:16 p.m. Yep, it’s dark.
12:03 a.m. It’s officially Sunday, so let’s get a leader updated.
1. #63 Hong Norrth C (Toyota Supra)
2. #750 Flying Pigs Racing (Ford Mustang) +2 Laps
3. #181 Team Sheen (Acura Integra) +8 Laps
4. #45 United Ducktape Racing (Porsche 944) +9 Laps
5. #91 OK-Speed (Honda Civic) +12 Laps (Class B)
6. #285 Dai Mondai II (Toyota Supra) + 15 Laps
7. #108 Point-O-Eight (Ford Escort) +23 Laps
8. #555 Sideways to Victory (Ford Focus) +24 Laps
9. #118 Wisconsin Crap Racing (BMW E36) + 26 Laps
10. #44 Landshark (Acura Integra) +31 Laps
CLASS C
1. #6 Morrow’s Racing (Chevy Lumina APV)
2. #33 Tiki Time Racing (Ford Mustang)3. #222 Windy Shitty Racing (BMW 2002)
4. #666 Bad Decisions Racing (Pontiac Trans Sport)
5. #74 The Resistance (Honda Civic)
6. #199 The Escorts (Ford Escort)
7. #75 Zero Budget Racing (Chrysler Cordoba)
1:41 a.m. After a shower, a cup of coffee, and some sugary snacks, I think I’m ready for my last eight-hour stint in the Penalty Box.
1:55 a.m. Hong Norrth still leads overall by two laps from the Flying Pigs Mustang. OK-Speed’s Civic leads Class B by 13 laps, but there are still eight hours left to go.

2:11 a.m. A lot’s gone on in the interim few hours. The Simca blew up its engine and the team have borrowed a Saturn to get some race laps, the Fiat burned two pistons, the Merkur nuked a wheel bearing, the Scoupe is almost ready to pass tech 16 hours into the race, and the diesel Chevette spattered oil all over the underside of the hood and into the driver’s side footwell. The Cordoba has gone through two sets of brake pads and is well into its third set.
2:21 a.m. Hong Norrth’s race comes to an end. They come off the track after stopping on the track, likely with a broken differential. They will swap on the spare differential, but they’ve already fallen to third place. Flying Pigs Racing now leads.
2:30 a.m. Here’s quick rundown of retirements/problems still being solved:
#67 TARP Racing BMW E36 – Guibo and then engine
#668 2 Wycked F.A.C.E. Racing Porsche 924 (4.3L V6) – Overheating
#85 Apocalyptic Racing (Toyota Celica) – Many fuel issues
#626 Dumar ES Racing (Pontiac Trans Am) – It’s an F Body.
#100 Double Jeopardy (Jaguar XJS) – Extreme Britishness
#0 Le Mopar (Simca 1204) – Engine and trans
#888 Zero Budget Racing (Chevy Chevette Diesel) – Blown engine
#919 Afunzalo Racing (Fiat X1/9) – Burnt piston
#30 Turtle Head Racing (BMW E30) – Blown cylinder
#48 Team Priority Fail (Volkswagen Jetta) – Transmission, kind of fixed
#205 Rally Rolla (Toyota Corolla All-Trac) – Cylinder head issue, kind of fixed
#847 Team Orca (Chevy Caprice) – Transmission
#56 Skid Marks Racing (Dodge Neon) – Transmission
#777 Seriouz (Toyota MR2) – Engine
#700 James Bondo (Triumph TR7) – Transmission
#116 Burnt Rubber Soul Racing (Ford Probe) – Power steering
#368 PBR Light (BMW E30) – Master cylinder
#924 Double B Racing (Chevy Camaro) – Cooling system
The #420 Wonderment Consortium Hyundai Scoupe still hasn’t been through tech and the #403 Anonymous Subaru XT’s turbo is still not fixed.
3:00 a.m. We’re 17 hours in and the top three cars are separated by about a lap still while the Flying Pigs make a driver change. They should have two more stops to get to the finish while the new race leaders United Ducktape Racing will likely also need two stops and the Team Sheen Integra in third place will need at least two more. Still a lot of racing left.
3:17 a.m. The Scoupe rolls into tech inspection with its engine swap complete and the fresh white paint now covered in grimy handprints.

3:31 a.m. The Scoupe lives! They’ve passed tech and will take a parade lap in first gear to get on the board. Why only first gear? Because it’s the only one that works with the swapped ECU. So they’ll be spending time after that one lap to troubleshoot the rest of the car’s three or four gears.
3:48 a.m. Long full-course caution for a large oil slick at the two tightest corners on the racetrack. Sounds like the #928 Scuderia Craptastica Ford Taurus SHO is the culprit.
3:51 a.m. There are apparently scattered engine parts through about half the track.
4:17 a.m. We’re at the three-quarter distance mark and the leaders have driven more than 1,000 miles at this point. Here’s how the tight overall race sits currently as the track maintenance crew are still laying down kitty litter on the massive Yamaha V6-sourced oil slick:
1. #45 United Ducktape Racing (Porsche 944) – 500 Laps
2. #750 Flying Pigs Racing (Ford Mustang) – 500 Laps
3. #181 Team Sheen (Acura Integra) – 499 Laps
4. #91 OK-Speed (Honda Civic) – 493 Laps, Class B
5. #285 Dai Mondai II (Toyota MR2) – 490 Laps
6. #118 Wisconsin Crap Racers (BMW E36) – 474 Laps
7. #555 Sideways to Victory (Ford Focus) – 474 Laps
8. #13 Hell Kitty Racing (Honda Prelude) – 472 Laps
9. #18 Point-O-Eight (Ford Escort) – 471 Laps, Class B
10. #63 Hong Norrth C (Toyota Supra – 455 Laps
CLASS C
1. #6 Morrows Racing (Chevy Lumina APV) – 375 Laps
2. #33 Tiki Time Racing (Ford Mustang) – 350 Laps
3. #222 Windy Shitty Racing (BMW 2002) – 332 Laps
4. #199 The Escorts (Ford Escort) – 271 Laps
5. #666 Bad Decisions Racing (Pontiac Trans Sport) – 267 Laps
6. #74 The Resistance (Honda Civic) – 267 Laps
7. #75 Zero Budget Racing (Chevy Cordoba) – 233 Laps
8. #190 Northern Shiners (Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme) – 154 Laps
4:26 a.m. Back to green at last!
4:32 a.m. The race-leading Porsche promptly spins on the first green flag lap and has to report for a black flag, giving the lead back to Flying Pigs Racing.
4:37 a.m. The Priority Fail Volkswagen GTI blew up on the front straight and gave the field another 15 minutes of full-course yellow immediately after the previous one.
4:50 a.m. The United Ducktape Porsche earned a costly second black flag and now hav efallen to third place, four laps behind Flying Pigs and three laps behind Team Sheen in second place.

5:00 a.m. Here’s the cause for the long full-course caution, a scene eerily reminiscent of the Taurus SHO engine destruction at Gingerman Raceway in April. Just like that SHO engine, this one let go catastrophically without warning, scattering twisted rods and cooked oil all over the racing track and leaving a massively holed engine block in its wake.

5:17 a.m. The signs of daylight are awfully welcome. Just 4-1/2 more hours to go. Flying Pigs’ lead is almost exactly a lap over the Team Sheen Integra.
5:55 a.m. The juggling of leaders continues. Team Sheen leads United Ducktape Racing by three laps with Flying Pigs now only a half lap behind that. OK-Speed continues to run fourth overall and lead Class B by 27 laps over the Point-O-Eight Escort. The Morrows Racing Dustbuster Van leads Class C by 22 laps now.
6:07 a.m. The Zero Budget Racing diesel Chevette failed because their recently machined head sat in the team captain’s garage for a year, during which time mice used the water jacket to store dog food, unbeknownst to the team captain. The results were suboptimal.
6:12 a.m. Glowing brake rotors aren’t just for multimillion dollar GT cars.
6:30 a.m. With 3-1/2 hours left in the race, most of the leaders should all need only one more fuel stop to get to the end so there’s equal footing there. Here’s how things sit:
1. #181 Team Sheen (Acura Integra)
2. #45 United Ducktape Racing (Porsche 944) + 2 Laps
3. #750 Flying Pigs Racing (Ford Mustang) + 3 Laps
4. #285 Dai Mondai II (Toyota MR2) +13 Laps
5. #91 OK-Speed (Honda Civic) +17 Laps (Class B Leader)
6. #118 Wisconsin Crap Racing (BMW E36) +28 Laps
7. #13 Hell Kitty Racing (Honda Prelude) +30 Laps
8. #63 Hong Norrth C (Toyota Supra) + 31 Laps
9. #18 Point-O-Eight (Ford EscorT) + 37 Laps (Class B)
10. #555 Sideways to Victory V (Ford Focus) +38 Laps
In Class C, Morrows Racing leads in their Racevan by 25 laps over the Tiki Time Racing Ford Mustang and 48 laps on the Windy Shitty BMW 2002.
7:00 a.m. Three hours now and the standings are all pretty much the same as a bit ago.
7:14 a.m. Double B Racing fixed their Camaro’s broken motor mount with a fender bolt from the team’s golf cart. I am unaware of any other team that has scavenged golf cart parts to put their race car back on the track, although I fully support any team(s) that undergo such an endeavor.

7:21 a.m. A fine series of Real Racing™ photos from the first hour after sunrise.
7:35 a.m. The race-leading Team Sheen Integra makes its final pit and Flying Pigs Racing inherits the lead. The Pigs will need another fuel stop, however. United Ducktape Racing should be about a lap and a half down when Team Sheen returns to the track.
7:47 a.m. Team Sheen rejoins the race a bit more than two minutes ahead of the United Ducktape Racing Porsche. Flying Pigs still lead by about a lap and a half but will need to pit while the other two will not.
7:53 a.m. Team Sheen’s final driver has been cut loose, running the car’s fastest race laps while they try to hold off United Ducktape.
8:03 a.m. Flying Pigs make their final fuel stop and driver change. They will cycle out in third place, just behind the Porsche.
8:20 a.m. After final driver changes, Team Sheen leads by a lap over United Ducktape while Flying Pigs are about 50 seconds behind the Porsche and closing. In Class B, OK-Speed leads by 20 laps over the Point-O-Eight. The OK-Speed car needs one more fuel stop, I think, but they should have the gap covered. Morrows Racing leads Class C by 27 laps still.
8:57 a.m. The United Ducktape Racing Porsche 944 are now out with a broken transmission. Team Sheen’s lead over Flying Pigs is just a couple seconds short of two laps. OK-Speed lead by 23 laps and just turned their fastest race lap for some reason when reasonable teams would be nursing the car for another 30 minutes or so. Different approaches or maybe they’re trying to aim for I Got Screwed.
9:25 a.m. The Flying Pigs Racing is running about 3 seconds a lap faster than Team Sheen and is pretty much exactly a lap. This just might turn into a race in the race’s closing minutes.
9:41 a.m. A brief full-course caution may be enough for Team Sheen, although the Flying Pigs just ran the car’s fastest lap. They trail by just 90 seconds with 20 minutes left.
9:49 a.m. The Car and Driver (unofficial) team is going to finish 5th overall while Hong Norrth should sneak past the broken Porsche into 6th. LemonAid will finish 7th and Wisconsin Crap Racers’ E36 should snag a Top 10 finish, which is a great result for them.
9:53 a.m. The final margin of victory should end up being right around 45 seconds, which is remarkable for 24 hours of racing. The total race distance will be somewhere around 1,350 miles because I’m can’t be bothered to do maths after not sleeping at all.
10:01 a.m. Team Sheen wins the 24-hour race by just a handful of seconds over Flying Pigs Racing! That’s Team Sheen’s first LeMons win. OK-Speed cruise to Class B victory, their first, and Morrows’ racevan wins C, their billionth Class C win! Also of note: The Pentastar Duster finally finishes its first ever race.
10:14 a.m. Well, everyone survived the race. One more update after the Awards Ceremony.
[All photos copyright 2015 Hooniverse/Eric Rood]