Truck Thursday: Topkickurban

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You know what my fellow Hoons? Sometimes having an old school Suburban in your livery is just not quite enough. I mean you can drop the shell on a one ton chassis with added fender flares out back. You can even lift it several feet, even put obnoxious stickers on the rear window and it still isn’t enough.

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But drop that sucker on a Topkick chassis and that is what I’m talking about. Total awesomeness topped off by that bad ass wing on the roof to assist in high speed down force.
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And we don’t need no body on frame, we need body on frame on frame with a totally bitchin’ weld job. Plus it’s bagged!
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Yeah my fellow Hoons, no matter which view from which you see this truck you can see the thought and foresight put into it by its builder.
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It even has a straight front axle for handling ease.
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Just make sure that you secure the batteries between those frames lest they decide to grow legs. Additional bonus points for the ease of access to that diesel fuel filter.
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Yeah, my fellow Hoons, this olelongrooffan spotted this, after being alerted to its presence by thehorsefarmer, and I just had to do another “Hey I went there and saw this” kind of post.
HCOTY anyone?
Image Copyright Hooniverse 2015/longrooffan

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  1. tonyola Avatar
    tonyola

    Wow – just wow. I’ve seen some strange conversions but I’m having a little bit of a hard time wrapping my head around this – the mismatched wheel arches, the sheer cliff of a nose, the humongous fuel tanks (I assume that they’re functional), the sheet metal splash guards, the doubled frame. Makes an International CXT look rational and demure by comparison.

  2. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Bro! Ya DO know you didn’t have to go through all that trouble, right?
    They, like, make these professionally, dude.
    http://f650pickups.com/
    http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2008/05/31/16/31/2008_ford_f-650-pic-24520.jpeg

  3. theskitter Avatar

    Structural issues aside, I don’t think the Topkick is any worse aesthetically than the ‘professional’ builds.

    Was that the joke?

  4. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    I see this and think “You think you hate it now but wait till you drive it.”
    http://cdn0.dailydot.com/uploaded/images/original/2013/7/25/airbag.gif

  5. Scoff Law Avatar
    Scoff Law

    That people is “a hazard to navigation” personified in that numerous other drivers will die as they laugh themselves silly and crash their cars while doing so, and I won’t even bother to make any “size” related comments here.

  6. LEROOOY Avatar
    LEROOOY

    WE GET IT
    I love big trucks (and that Topkick grille is, for its near-architectural honesty, among my favorites), but yeeeesh. If somebody had just said “stop” and it ended up 1′ lower without the terrifying body lift, it could be quite cool-looking.

  7. Frank T. Cat Avatar
    Frank T. Cat

    HAOTY
    FTFY

  8. smalleyxb122 Avatar
    smalleyxb122

    I don’t get the frame-on-a-frame thing. The Top Kick/Kodiak shared their cabs with their contemporary C/K light duty brothers, so the body mounts (at least in the front) should have lined right up.

    1. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      I think the body lift is only on the back. The front end IS the Topkick front end from the firewall forward.

      1. econobiker Avatar
        econobiker

        Yup, I thought that also about the Topkick front end and the short length of the frame. About 4 years ago, I saw a Topkick converted to pickup w/ a Chevy crew cab body and dually rear box at a crazy pizza restaurant in Jackson TN…

  9. hubba Avatar
    hubba

    I’m wondering about the final artistic judgment. Visualize the building stepping back from what he (safe assumption, that) has built and saying, “What’s it missing?”
    “Ah. A wing. That will make it perfect.”

    1. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      While the wing is at the correct orientation for downforce, it looks like it was installed backwards.

    2. rovingardener Avatar
      rovingardener

      I’ve seen these wings since the ’70’s. Mostly they’re used to deflect air off the bluntness of a fifth wheel trailer or gooseneck, etc.. Because, you can only push through so much blunt force.

  10. Yuppie Scum Avatar
    Yuppie Scum

    I knew a guy who used to leave “Sorry about your small penis” sticky notes on things like this. Lucky he didn’t get shot.

  11. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    Even Homer Simpson wouldn’t drive that.