24 Hours of LeMons: 'Southern Discomfort' preview at CMP

LeMons_CMP_Lede
This weekend marks the second of three consecutive races for the 24 Hours of LeMons. A flying pig won last weekend’s race at Gingerman Raceway in Michigan and next weekend the series goes to New Jersey Motorsports Park, but this weekend is all about “Southern Discomfort.” LeMons has visited Carolina Motorsports Park more than any other racetrack—This is the 15th CMP event—and the Southern racers know how to LeMons.
Compared to the likely aggro racing expected in New Jersey, the 78 entries at CMP should be relatively well-behaved. As with any road racing, weather makes a huge difference and rain is often a factor at CMP, but early-week forecasts call for clear skies and pleasant temperatures. Follow the jump for more on the race.

CMP_3PM_DatsunOF INTEREST

Because this race preview is being (more) hastily put together (than usual), I’m not even going to bother talking about Class C (for cars with No Prayer of Finishing) and Class B (for cars with No Prayer of Winning Overall) separately. Instead, I’m just going to lump the best of what I’d expect in the not-going-to-win-overall together to see what’ll stick. If you find that unsatisfying, you can find the full unofficial entry list here.
Here goes:
#41 3 Pedal Mafia (Datsun 720, above) – Legends of LeMons 3 Pedal Mafia debuted this sweet Datsun pickup being run by auto journalist Christian Mental Ward at Barber Motorsports Park in February. It returns with a bit more swagger to the great Southern crapcan race.
#720 Team Sputnik B (Datsun 720) – Hark! A new challenger emerges! LeMons had never had one 720 pickup before this year and will now have two at the same race. As if that’s not amazing enough, another legendary crapcan team will make this a Datsun Duel to the (trucks’) Deaths. Smart money is on 3PM, but Sputnik have a magic touch with Nissans (and only with Nissans).
CMP_Lowballers
#230 Knoxvegas Lowballers (Mazda MPV, above) – Also debuting at Barber this year was the Lowballers’ twin-Duratec V6 MPV. The van features functional linkage with both drivetrains featuring manual transmissions. This team—whose other cars this weekend include a mid-engined Geo Metro and a Ford Contour SVT that also run Duratec engines—do quality work and even better themes.
#87 NSF Racing (Mitsubishi Cordia) – It was only a short 30 years ago that Cordias dominated the sketchiest of all 24-hour, the Longest Day SCCA races at Nelson Ledges. Today, NSF’s Cordia continues that tradition of sketchiness while hopefully at long last enjoying a heap of long-overdue domination this time around.
#57 RetroRacing (Volkswagen Super Beetle) – G.D. Yo-Man, this team’s Scandinavian guru, once said of the Super Beetle: “[Passed out in a lawn chair].”
#19 Fuzzy Blumpkins (Ford Pinto) – Still the grossest team name in LeMons history.
#29 Old Dudes (Ford Ranchero) – I do believe this will be the first Falcon-based Ranchero in LeMons history. An early Windsor V8 or a Thriftpower Six is probably a completely adequate LeMons engine, actually.
#64 Team Fairlylame (Ford Fairlane) – Speaking of Windsor V8s, the 289-powered Fairlane is just the right kind of old hooptie for LeMons duty.
#70 Squatting Dog Racing II (Plymouth Valiant) – Valiants have been particularly decent in the series and the Slant Six is still durable so long as you don’t rev it to the moon.
#113 Idle Clatter 2 (Toyota Hilux/Mercedes 300D) – The Hilux-bodied Mercedes diesel is actually a fairly convincing replica of the Top Gear Hilux. It’s incredibly slow, but they still brambled to a Class C victory in their not-Hilux Merc once. Anything can happen.
CMP_Austin_Powerless
#2 Austin Powerless (Austin Marina, above) – Shockingly, this Marina isn’t terrible. Well, it’s terrible because it’s a Marina, but it’s less terrible than it would be with any other team.
#51 Speed is Bliss 2 (BMW 635CSi) – In theory, this should be an absolutely incredible road race car if it has the big 3.5-liter BMW six and a close-ratio manual gearbox. In reality, it’s probably a deservedly depreciated Bimmer.
#86 Collateral Damage (Chevy Cavalier) – In a world full of hooptie GM J-Bodies, the Collateral Damage Cavalier is among the worst of them.
#0 Samurai Racing (Infiniti Q45) – I’m a fan of anyone brave enough to race one of these complex—but powerful like a gorilla—luxobarges.
#71 Maroon Racing (Dodge Stratus) – Like the above-mentioned Datsun 720, there had only been one before last weekend at Gingerman, where the only one to have ever raced returned after a five year absence and blew up spectacularly. Bizarrely, the second Stratus in LeMons history debuts just a week later.
#7 CYDC Motorsport (BMW E46) – Normally, an E46-chassis BMW 3 Series should be marked for derision, but the entry list refers to this as a 2.3L E46. It would be great if this car had a naturally aspirated Ford Pinto engine under the bonnet; it would be even better if they’d put a Ford High-Swirl Combustion 2.3-liter mill from a Tempo in it.
 

OF LESS INTEREST

CMP_Speedycop
This is the part where we talk about who’s likely to finish in first place in this race. Naturally, this is less exciting than the races in Class C and Class B, so we won’t spend a whole lot of time on it. In fact, I’ll only list the 10 cars that I think stand the best chance of winning. Only two cars in the field (Speedycop and Moldecarlo) have won LeMons races outright and I’m not sure if Speedycop is bringing the Civic shown on the entry list or something else entirely crazy.
Anyway, rather than tell you about the cars because they’re probably mentioned in previous LeMons previews, I’ll just insert some characteristic of the team in a famous literary work.
#732 Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Honda Civic) – “Miss Mills replied, on general principles, that the Cottage of content was better than the Palace of cold splendour, and that where Speedycop was, all was.” – David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
#418 B&W Racing (BMW E36) – “BMWs are razors to my wounded heart” – Titus Andronicus, Bill Shakespeare
#212 The Silver Bullets (Nissan 240SX) – “My rank is the highest known in Switzerland: I’m a V8-swapped Nissan.” – Arms and the Man, George Bernard Shaw
CMP_Questies
#140 Questie’s Racing Team (Ford Escort) – “I have always maintained that the one important phenomenon presented by Questie’s Racing Team is—the enormous prosperity of Fools.” – No Name, Wilkie Collins
#239 Norfolk & Chance (Acura Integra) – “‘I have seen something of this world,’ she said over the crowded trays, ‘and there are but two sorts of Acuras in it—those who take the strength out of a man and those who put it back.” – Kim, Rudyard Kipling
#262 Vermont Bert-One (Volvo 262C) – “A man loses his fortune; he gains earnestness. His eyesight goes; it leads him to a Volvo Bertone Coupe.” – The Stark Munro Letters, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#211 Rolling Chicane Racing (Honda Civic) – “Man’s cleverness is almost indefinite, and stretches like an elastic band, but human nature is like an iron ring. You can go round and round it, you can polish it highly, you can even flatten it a little on one side, whereby you will make it bulge out the other, but you will NEVER, while the world endures and man is man, win a race in a Civic.” Allan Quatermain, H. Rider Haggard
CMP_Team_SOB
#811 Team SOB – Sick of Breaking (Volkswagen Golf) – “Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing and then turbocharging.” – Anne of Green Gables, Lucy Maud Montgomery
#13 Grim Reaper Racing (Ford Mustang) – “If ‘stang lives till doomsday, she’ll burn week longer than the whole world.” – The Comedy of Errors, Shill Bakesbears
#133 Moldecarlo (Chevy Monte Carlo) – “There are such beings as race-winning GM cars, some of us have evidence that they exist. Even had we not the proof of our own unhappy experience, the teachings and records of the past give proof enough for sane peoples.” – Dracula, Bram Stoker
 
You can follow live race timing on Specialty Timing’s website or on Race Monitor with Murilee Martin’s words-and-images coverage on the Car and Driver site.

SOME MILDLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Friday Inspection  Noon to 5 p.m. ET
Saturday Session 10 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. ET
Sunday Sessions 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. and noon to 4 p.m. w/Quiet Hour at 11 a.m.
LeMons Lap Record (Full Course) 1:55.4 – The Silver Bullets (Nissan 300ZX)
LeMons Lap Record (Short Course) 0:59.7 – Superkak Racing (Ford Mustang)
Overall Winners 2008 She Got it all (Mazda RX-7)
2009 Dorifto Dogs (BMW E30
2009 White Lightning (Mazda RX-7)
2010 Rbankracing (Saab 900)
2010 Super Troopers Racing (BMW E30)
2010 Iron LeMons Racing (BMW E30)
2011 Hong Norrth (Mazda MX-3)
2011 Hong Norrth (Mazda MX-3)
2012 Rbankracing (Saab 9-3)
2012 Hong Norrth (Mazda MX-3)
2013 Moldecarlo (Chevy Monte Carlo)
2013 Racing Nemo (BMW E30)
2014 RC Spiders (Mercedes 190E)
2014 RC Spiders (Mercedes 190E)
Class B Winners 2008 CC Canada (Nissan 300ZX)
2009 Lightning McQueen (Volkswagen Jetta)
2009 Moldecarlo (Chevy Montecarlo)
2010 Team SOB (Volkswagen GTI)
2010 Uchill (Audi 100)
2010 Howard J. Turkstra Motorsports (Toyota Celica)
2011 Team Tortoise (Ford Crown Victoria)
2011 Moldecarlo (Chevy Monte Carlo
2012 Grim Reaper Racing (Ford Mustang)
2012 Student Drivers (Ford Crown Victoria)
2013 Questie’s Racing Team (Ford Escort)
2013 Morrow’s Racing (Mitsubishi Mirage)
2014 Team Scrap Iron (Ford Escort)
2014 Halfast Racing (Chevy Caprice Impala)
Class C Winners 2008 Team Saab Story (Saab 9000)
2009 Ponticrap (Pontiac Fiero)
2009 Sweede Little Pigs (Saab 900)
2010 Theoretical Racing (Datsun 280ZX)
2010 Rush Hour Racing (Ford Crown Victoria)
2010 Tunachuckers (Volvo Amazon)
2011 Sputnik (Nissan Stanza Wagon)
2011 Sputnik (Nissan Stanza Wagon)
2012 Morrow’s Racing (Buick Reatta)
2012 The Failure Modes (Volvo 240)
2013 PBR (Subaru Outback)
2013 Austin Powerless (Austin Marina)
2014 Mock Grass Racing (Kia Sephia)
2014 Cadillac Racing (Cadillac Catera)
Index of Effluency 2008 Tunachuckers (Volvo Amazon)
2009 Heavy Metal (Ford LTD)
2009 Rust Bolt Racing (BMW E12)
2010 Track Pillagerz! (Buick LeSabre)
2010 Schumacher Taxi Service (Chevy Citation)
2010 Dog Ciao Racing (Alfa Romeo Spider)
2011 NSF Racing (Plymouth Fury)
2011 Green County Moving Co. (Chevy S10)
2012 Morrow’s Racing (Buick Reatta)
2012 NSF Racing (Mercedes 170)
2013 Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Spirit of LeMons)
2013 Idle Clatter (Mercedes Benz 300SD)
2014 NSF Racing (Ford LTD)
2014 Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Ford LTD Wagon)

[Photos: Murilee Martin]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here