By now, you’ve surely read all about the trials and tribulations of Hooniverse’s own Kamil Kaluski in a Buick Regal at the 24 Hours of LeMons Halloween Hooptiefest race at New Hampshire Motor Speedway. You may even have seen some video on this site of Sorry for Party Racing’s Pontiac Firebird crashing the party and of crapcan maniac Speedycop’s Honda Accordion. It was a wild weekend at NHMS and some of the racing was even pretty good.
Silver Errors won their second race of the year with a solid performance from their Mercedes 190E. Long stints coupled with reasonably quick, clean driving are two hallmarks of LeMons success and the Errors executed both well.. Team Massholes gave them a good chase and ended up with the best-ever performance by a Ford Escort as runners up. Team Pro Crash Duh Nation round out the podium with another good outing in their Alfa Romeo Milano, albeit falling just short of a win yet again.
FRS’s Ugly Uncle (above) also take home the best-ever Toyota Camry finish (previously held by the same team at NHMS) by finishing P4 in their Solara. Favorites Bill Danger and Walk of Shame would likely have finished better, but both got caught up in contact incidents, though they recovered to Top 10 finishes. Worth noting is a Top 10 performance for Scuderia Regurgito, a team who recently traded up to an E36 from a Fiat 131 that infamously launched its broken driveshaft through the trans tunnel (The Fiat driver was OK but probably required new undergarments).
Near-Orbital Space Monkeys, who were P2 at the end of Saturday, saw their race end early on Sunday with a wreck that finished their Mustang. Early leaders Swedish Mafia Racing looks competitive for the first Volvo-engined victory in LeMons, but black flags knocked them out of contention.
Class B saw success from the Acura Legend of LEGENDary Racing, who soundly defeated Lemontarians‘ Dodge Neon. The Most Least Interesting Car in the World Mercedes 260E (above) led a good chunk of the race in B and a double Mercedes victory looked in the cards for much of Saturday, but the team had to settle for P5 in class.
In LeMons’ lowest class, three cars vied for the win for most of the weekend. Chev-itte Where the Sun Don’t Shine ran fairly quickly and led at Saturday’s end over Speedycop and his Gang of Outlaws’ normally aspirated, four-cylinder Ford Mustang and over 3 Pedal Mafia’s famous Sea Sprite. At one point Sunday, all three ran on the same lap just a few seconds apart, but mechanical failure on the Chevette and a penalty for The Boat were enough to give Speedycop’s satellite team the win in class.
3 Pedal Mafia did not go home empty-handed, however. Their luxurious Rolls Royce Silver Shadow (above, leaning like a Right Gentleman) chugged to an Index of Effluency victory, despite pre-cooked brakes and suspension travel measured in leagues. The Rolls edged out Rally Baby Racing in the Plymouth
Albatross Reliant, which found new and (un)inspiring ways to break. Speedycop’s Honda Accordion chugged along to 113th place finish, a couple spots ahead of the Rolls.
Overall (Full results here):
1. #281 Silver Errors – Zeigel Scheisshaus (Mercedes 190E) – 462 Laps
2. #508 Massholes (Ford Escort ZX2) – 460 Laps
3. #26 Team Pro Crash Duh Nations (Alfa Romeo Milano) – 458 Laps
4. #99 FRS’s Ugly Uncle (Toyota Camry Solara) – 451 Laps
5. #106 Bill Danger (Honda Accord) – 451 Laps
6. #78 Death Race (BMW E28) – 450 Laps
7. #84 Walk of Shame (BMW E36) – 447 Laps
8. #9 Scooby Doobies (Audi Quattro) – 442 Laps
9. #28 Black Gold Racing (Datsun 280ZX) – 441 Laps
10. #131 Scuderia Regurgito (BMW E36) – 440 Laps
1. #188 LEGENDary Racing (Acura Legend) – 434 Laps
2. #2 Lemontarians (Dodge Neon) – 414 Laps
3. #121 Back to the Future in a VW (Volkswagen Scirocco) – 412 Laps
4. #846 Buford Team Justice (Chevy Camaro) – 408 Laps
5. #88 Most Least Interesting Car in the World (Mercedes 260E) – 406 Laps
6. #917 Punisher GP (Peugeot 405) – 404 Laps
7. #555 Seems Legit Racing (Chevy Cavalier) – 395 Laps
8. #499 Fully Torqued Racing (Volvo 850) – 391 Laps
9. #86 Team Bacon Explosion Racing (Volkswagen Golf) – 386 Laps
10. #1 Rally Baby Racing (Volkswagen Scirocco) – 384 Laps
1. #461 Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws (Ford Mustang) – 413 Laps
2. #42 3 Pedal Mafia (Chevy S-10/Sea Sprite) – 407 Laps
3. #41 Avengers (Pontiac Firebird) – 375 Laps
4. #115 Chev-itte Where the Sun Don’t Shiner (Chevy Chevette) – 352 Laps
5. #92 Team Waahmbulance (Dodge Daytona) – 347 Laps
6. #34 Full Nelson (Saab 96) – 340 Laps
7. #70 3 Pedal Mafia (Rolls Royce Silver Shadow) – 230 Laps
8. #421 Rally Baby Racing (Plymouth Reliant K) – 214 Laps
9. #31 Vicious Regress (Chevy Monza) – 6 Laps