Hooniverse » FOUND

Want to Get With a Starlet? Go to Las Vegas!

Alex Kierstein — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 19:02:48 +0000

Ah, Las Vegas. Come for the ephemeral promise of material gain, leave with the rolling chassis of a tiny Toyota for less than your booze-addled buddy is going to blow at the strip club (“Dude, I think she really loves me! I’m going to hit the ATM again …”). Not everything that happens in Sin City needs stay there …

Hit the jump for videos of several flavors of batshit mad Starlets hauling serious ass.

It shouldn’t be too difficult to imagine what you could nestle into the empty engine bay of this cut-rate RWD roller, but in case you needed some ideas – how about Hayabusa power?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Too cliche? Maybe a V8 is more your style … 512 HP Rover engine suit your fancy?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hmm, need something even more insane? Dr. Solex prescribes 1200cc of rotary power.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The end result should drive something like this:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Of course, there’s always the LeMons route – swing a Toyota recall bulletin in a junkyard and you’re bound to hit a motor you could drop between the suspension towers. I’m thinking 22R with the hugest junkyard turbo you can snuggle alongside it – MOAR TORQUE = MOAR AWESOME. Bonus points for doing something insane with possibly the most staid, reliable engine on the planet. Extra bonus points for the instant seal of Clunkbucket approval.

You up to the challenge? Go to Las Vegas and don’t lose your $400 playing with the one-armed bandit. Or on a slot machine – HEY OH!

Craigslist

Perhaps We Could Interest You in a Plywood Racecar?

Alex Kierstein — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 22:02:19 +0000

So it looks a little like a Shelby Daytona Coupe that was shrunk in the wash, and its chassis is made out of plywood. Instead of being a miserable, abject failure consigned to the dustbin of history, the Marcos GT Fastback is a legitimately successful racecar, and this particular GT is one of only 7 works cars built and is claimed to be all original.

Lest you think the Marcos succeeded despite the cellulose-intensive structure, the idea was cribbed from the DeHaviland Mosquito and proved to be sort of a contemporary carbon fiber-esque substance, making the lightest Marcos GTs tip the scales at just over 1,000 lbs.! (Note the clever license plate attached to the nose of the car above.) Powered by a Ford 1100cc unit (instead of the more iconic and less probably 1800cc Volvo engine), backed up by a Hewland 5-speed with an LSD, we have no doubt that it would be competitive in its respective historic racing class. Plus at least from the front, it looks pretty awesome (which is becoming sort of a trend … remember the Ecurie Ecosse Tojeiro-Buick, with the Jessica Alba front and the Rosanne Bar rear?). Listed on race-cars.com for about $80,000 (65,000 euros), it seems like a relative deal for a rare (1 of 7 extant, only 2 running) works car with a lot of character. Would you get freaky with the wooden wonder, or beg off for fear of splinters?

race-cars.com

Chevy 350-powered Tractor Defies Logic, Clearly a Must-Own Toy

Alex Kierstein — Thu, 13 May 2010 19:56:16 +0000

That there is Farrari Red, dontcha know!

Summer is almost here! Time to pull your SBC-powered, dump-bed equipped Worthington tractor out of the shed, devote a half-hour to ponder why you deep-sixed your third marriage over constructing it, correctly ascertain that it serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever, and gloriously over-sell it in an eye-watering eBay Motors ad!!! (Bonus ~~WWJD~~ “what would you do with it?” poll after the ol’ jump here.)

Pa's gonna be SO proud of you, boy!" title="tractor 2" width="650" height="340" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-18057" />

Boy howdy, what a tractor! Sure, you can’t drive it on the street (although the seller point out, in a fit of semi-delusional optimism, that it might be street legal “with a little work”), but hey, the dump-bed works just fine, it don’t smoke, it has Z28-sourced ~~street~~ cred, and did I mention the dump-bed works right proper? Git on and vote with that there clicky thing now!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

eBay Motors

WTF GTR?

Mad_Science — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:00:11 +0000

We’re a pretty inclusive bunch, not really ones to pass judgement on others’ style. That said, we’re gonna go ahead and say it’s not ok to cover the dash and package shelf of your GTR with cutesy stuffed animals. Also, the only god that comes to mind in this case is Koalemos. The worst part about this car is that for as stupid as the plate and army of stuffed animals are, it’d still smoke your ass.

Still, it could’ve been worse.

Hat tip to Tim in Athens!

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Robert Emslie — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:30:07 +0000

It's the Corvette for the family man.

Have you ever pined for a Corvette, but felt that two seats and competent handling just weren’t your bag? Well, just as Burger King will accommodate your freakish penchant for a burger sans pickles and lettuce, Corvette enthusiast and family man Gene Swatek will build you a Vette you and the whole family can enjoy.

When not constructing frankenvettes, Swatek helped his wife make babies, and it was his desire to take all four of his girls to Corvette shows in a single trip that led to the creation of the four-door, limo-esque Family Vette. While the modded car is based on a C4 platform, the Swateks also own an unmolested ‘73 coupe and a stock ‘64 convertible. Their unique, elongated version of the bow tie sportster is actually based on two-thirds each of two cars- the front clip of one car being grafted to just aft of the rollbar of a second. And they’ll do it for you, should your passions lie in the dual regions of Corvette ownership and family circus comics.

If you want all that and the windswept hair that only a convertible can offer, they’ll make you one of those as well. The Family Vette II comes with all the leg room and seating capacity of its hard-top brother, but rocks both more headroom and Lincoln-esqe suicide doors.

Offered, incongruously, as one-of-a-kind creations that can be replicated on a limited basis, the Family Vette recalls the Corvette America of years past. While that Custom Coach created C3-based 4-door saw only 8 production models, you and Gene could potentially swell the numbers of Family Vettes taking up multiple parallel parking spaces across America.

familyvettes.com