Hooniverse Wagon Wednesday – 2011 Ford Focus Wagon

Due to having a truck reverse into her Mazda5, my girlfriend’s mom has to make do with a 2011 Ford Focus wagon for a while. This also handily meant I got to have a go in the Focus, as it sat there dirty and with a half tank of fuel. A manual, 1.6-litre TI-VCT base model in silver, it’s a common car here.

The longrooffocus is one of the cars that isn’t available in the States, despite this generation being otherwise for sale. You skipped the rather good actual second generation Focus and had to do with the over-extended lifespan of the first-gen one, which had become a caricature of suburban coffee stain beigeness; and for that I’m truly sorry. The second-generation Euro Focus was a step towards a mature, well-thought-out car; there are certain aspects of the current car that I find overwrought in comparison. But make a jump and I’ll tell you.

By the way, that lake in the background is a field.

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Jake’s Rotten Rental Car Reviews: 2011 Chevrolet Impala

Juxtaposed. Snoop Dogg does not approve

“Top dolla with the gold flea colla, dippin in my blue Impala?” Well, mine was silver, for one, but this car was so unbelievably mundane that I can’t help but thinking that Snoop Dogg would’ve shaken his head in disgust at this boat sharing the Impala name.

Welcome back to Jake’s Rotten Rental Car Reviews, where our road warrior hoon reviews the cars he encounters on the road: some great, some janky, and some just plain stanky. … Continue Reading

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Jake’s Rotten Rental Car Review: 2011 Volvo S40

Sometimes, in the right place and at the right time, something relatively mundane and ordinary can transcend ordinary and jump straight to hilariously entertaining.

Yes, you read right. I’m back again after a long hiatus with another review from rental car hell, or, in this case, rental car nirvana. You wouldn’t think that a Volvo S40 could inspire such a strong statement, but I guess I need to unpack that a little more.

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Jake’s Rotten Rental Car Reviews: 2009 Chevrolet Cobalt

Few cars are bad enough that putting a dead hooker in the trunk would somehow improve them. The Chevy Cobalt I drove recently was one of them.

Welcome back to another installment of Jacob’s Rotten Rental Car Reviews, the recurring series here on the Hooniverse where our resident road-warrior hoon documents the foibles of rental cars all over. This week’s loser is a cherry red Chevy Cobalt, and when I say I would have rather had chlamydia than drive this car for a week, I do not exaggerate.

Returning again to Shreveport for a business trip with about a hundred coworkers, I should have known I was in for rental car hell. … Continue Reading

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Jake’s Rotten Rental Car Reviews: 2011 Kia Sorento

I literally never thought I’d say these words in my life, but I drove a Kia…and it was a damn good car.

Welcome back to another edition of Jake’s Rotten Rental Car Reviews, where we road test the finest cars that the airport rental lots have to offer. Today’s lucky winner was the Kia Sorento.

After arriving at the National lot in Sacramento, staring down the barrel of a three hour drive to Fresno, comfort was key. … Continue Reading

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Jake’s Rotten Rental Car Reviews- 2011 Chrysler 300

Welcome to a new recurring series here on the Hooniverse. My name is Jake, and yes, I am the maniac who nominated the BMW 335d for car of the year last year.

In the way of background information, when I’m not messing around on the podcast from time to time, I travel a lot for my job (project manager for a medical software company). As a result, I’ve had ample experience demoing the best that Enterprise and National rent-a-car have to offer in their rental fleets. Or the best and worst, as it were. So, without further ado, I present the first installment of Jake’s rotten rental car reviews.

While visiting Shreveport, Louisiana, I had my first opportunity in a while to stop at the National desk and ask for the keys to whatever they had in the lot. Luckily for me, I suppose, it was a slow weekend (since nobody really visits Shreveport for a weekend getaway), and I got handed the keys to an “executive premium upgrade.” After clicking the alarm button, I was legitimately excited to see that I’d been handed the keys to a brand new 300. Not the C, mind you, but there wasn’t a cloth seat in sight, and I hoped I’d get to test the much-vaunted eight-speed transmission and the other “refinements” Chrysler claimed they’d made in the new model.

First impressions were somewhat mixed, though. … Continue Reading

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