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The Carchive: Audio Edition! Vauxhall Tape Madness


Before you click the jump, and I know that very few of you will have read this far, such is your eagerness for the riveting audio ecstasy that awaits you, I ask you this. Where else on the internet could you possibly imagine this kind of killer content?

There was a time before the world wide web, I’ve heard. Car manufacturers would strive to spread the word about their products in any way they could. Printed media was, of course, the most popular, but people had to take the time to sit and read it. TV advertising was good, but it’s hellishly expensive to run even a twenty second long slot, and it relied on people being sat there as a captive audience, and attention could easily drift. Radio was good, as it allowed people to go about their daily duties whilst having a promotional message subliminally drummed into their head several times a day.

In 1986, flushed with frenzied excitement following the release of the New Vauxhall Carlton, somebody in GM’s management had the fantastic idea of issuing a promotional tape about the new car, so people could brainwash themselves voluntarily while driving, because it’s safer to listen to a Vauxhall Cassette at 80 than to read the brochure behind the wheel. And now, in a Hooniverse World Exclusive, you too can share the excitement of Vauxhall’s hottest release of 1986. You lucky, lucky people.

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Timeless Innovations: The Jubilee Clip, a.k.a. The Hose Clamp


The mail is slow to reach my part of rural North Essex. The March 8th 1957 issue of The Autocar has just turned up, and as I sat in my listening chair, coffee and biscuits to my left, magazine on my lap, I chanced upon an advertisement for an item that I had never really put much thought into.

The Jubilee clip. Not just any jubilee clip, but a genuine Jubilee clip.

For the benefit of several readers, let’s honour this wondrous item with a brief history lesson.

The idea for a screw-tightened pressed metal sealing strap was masterminded by one Commander Lumley Robinson of the British Royal Navy. He was granted patent on the clip in 1921.

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Weekend Edition: The Pure Rambler Edition

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So, a few years ago, this olelongrooffan was out and about at the Turkey Rod Run down here in the World Center of Racing. While there, I captured this image of some cool old Ramblers which their loving owners had brought out for my viewing pleasure. I thought this was pretty cool but should my fellow Hoons choose to make the jump, you can see something I thought is equally as cool.

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The Toyota Land Cruiser is not a car

Land Cruiser sm

Read this ad.

I have nothing to else to add to it. Well, I could add that I would give my left kidney, stone n’ all, for a brand new $3320 1970 Land Cruiser.

Image source – I don’t remember, somewhere of GooglePlus me thinks. Sorry.


1970 Plymouth Products: Through The Eyes Of A Returning Soldier

Gary had served two tours in Vietnam during the late 1960s.  He was a crew chief and a door gunner in a helicopter unit for his entire stint in the war.  Truly harrowing and heroic stuff.  For those three years, he saved his military pay, hazard pay, and combat pay.  Then, a few months prior to his discharge, while at the P.X., he saw this advertisement for the brand new 1970 Plymouth linup of cars. 

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Hooniverse Weekend Edition – Some Classic Advertising Images

During the Weekend of Discovery, I was showcasing some obscure automotive makes that were built in minuscule numbers, or were never built at all, but were fortunately displayed within some vintage advertising or brochure images. While going through those images, I set aside some of my favorite images from days gone by to share with you.

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Two-Wheel Tuesday: The Kick-Ass Sound of Victory

Kerker "Sweet Sound of Victory" Magazine Ad

One day in 1987, while I was working as a counter monkey professional motorcycle parts procurement specialist, a package arrived in the mail from Kerker, which at that time was THE brand of aftermarket motorcycle exhaust to have. (Their infamous tag line, “Kerker Kicks Ass,” was much more controversial than it would seem today.) The package contained a stack of posters and some of those flexy “sound sheet” disposable phonograph records that passed for a state-of-the-art multimedia experience in 1987. Along with them was an audiocassette entitled “Kerker: The Sweet Sound of Victory.” I walked over to the sales floor and kicked the tape into the cassette deck of a Honda Aspencade, and a bunch of us stood around listening to it. It was four minutes of a badass-sounding narrator using cool phrases such as “high-octane superformance” to tell us how kick-ass Kerker exhausts were. It also featured World Champion Eddie Lawson telling us how kick-ass Kerker exhausts were. It was also four minutes of some pretty cool motorcycle sounds, which is why I slipped the cassette in my tank bag and took it home.

Amazingly, this time capsule of ’80s awesomeness must be the only snippet of audio in recording history that hasn’t made it onto the interwebs in digital format (at least as far as my Google-fu could reveal). But that changes now, because Kerker: The Sweet Sound of Victory is waiting for you in all its MP3-encoded glory after the jump.

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Hooniverse Fastback Friday – Vintage Ads: 1984 Toyota Corolla GT Coupé

Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses? Especially when you’ve left the hood open on your brand new 1984 Corolla GT Coupé and all those 4A-GE horses of your AE86 have leaped to freedom?

There weren’t even that many to begin with, as the engine only developed 123bhp. Granted, that was a more significant reading back then, but it’s still a somewhat diminutive figure on which to base your entire ad copy. But the three-door AE86 looks handsome in white, and those simplistic alloy wheels are pure class. It’s like a blueprint for a good time. Click it for a larger version.

Scanned from Autocourse 1984-1985

Hooniverse Wagon Wednesday: The Addy Edition

So last evening this olelongrooffan was hanging out at the Taj Mahal enjoying the consumption of some hurricane supplies and looking through my image library to try and scrounge something up for Hooniverse Wagon Wednesday. It’s been since my trip to the Corvette Museum that I had seen any cool longroofs.

Before I could find any cool longroofs to honor this day, I did find some cool old longroof ads and thought my fellow Hoons would enjoy them.

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Vintage Advertisement: GM has something to hide

This ad is so great in so many ways. Please comment the first thing that comes to your mind.


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