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Classic Captions – The 1961 Chrysler Newport 4-Door Hardtop Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. New England is about to get a major Blizzard, and I thought I would celebrate this occasion with a Winter Scene, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time we had an image of a Breezeway Mercury with the retractable window, and the participation rate was less than stellar… I swear, the images I think are going to pop seem to just fizzle… so let’s review last week’s entries. Our runner up comment came from one of our regulars, P161911, and it was a different take on why you might open up the back window… “Taco night is much better now with the new Mercury Breezeway.” That was one of the funniest comments all year P161911, but there was one caption that our readers liked a little bit better…

And the winning comment was from a relative new-comer to these parts, 1977chevytruck, and he tied in smoke to something British… “A window to let smoke out? You would think the British would have though of that first. Alas, the cause of the smoke would probably prevent the window from working anyway…” Ah yes, the old reliability of British Electrics… Not very Topical, but very funny none the less, so congratulations 1977chevytruck on winning this week’s Caption Contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I can’t seem to find ot where I found this image in the first place, though you can purchase the advertisement here. This is a Winter Scene featuring the 1961 Chrysler Newport 4-Door Hardtop, and I thought it was appropriate for the Blizzard of 2015 we are experiencing here in the Northeast right now… This ad is very retro in its feel as far as winter sports goes, with none of the nylon and other man-made fabrics on the models that seems to be a staple of every ski resort across the country. Yes, I think this particular advertisement was perfect for the period, and I really think it was a great way to sell a relatively mundane sedan… So, how would you have arranged the shoot to look even more appropriate?

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Lucy’s ski lesson… Day One), and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very appropriate image.

Photo Credit: Vintage Adventurers

Classic Captions – The 1963 Mercury Monterey Custom Breezeway Hardtop Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. I’m going to get a little nostalgic with this week’s image, which has quite a bit of a Mad Men Vibe to it, but we will take care of that in a moment

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Last time we had an image of a Buick Wagon on a Ski Slope, and we seem to be steady as far as participation goes… so let’s review last week’s entries. Our runner up comment came from one of our regulars, Batshitbox, and it makes you think a bit… “I told you I was a mogul in the automobile industry!”That was very clever Batshitbox, but there was one caption that our readers like a little bit better…

And the winning comment was from another one of our regular readers, mdharrell. You know, at one time I used to have a Key Case, and this hit rather close to home… “Yes, we all agree a white key case to match the car was a perfectly sensible choice. The point is the keys are on that slope somewhere, so let’s go look again. It’ll be getting dark soon.” How many of you remember Key Cases in the first place? This was not only topical, but very retro, so congratulations mdharrell on winning this week’s Caption Contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I decided to use another image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and decided to use this one for the 1963 Mercury Monterrey Breezeway Hardtop. This has that early 60’s Mad Men vibe to it, when smoking was not only acceptable, but encouraged. And what a great idea for a sedan in the first place, with the rear window that actually retracted a few inches to let stale air out, or to help in ventilation. With this feature, the Mercury stood apart from it’s Ford sibling, much more so than any other time before the Mercury Brand was killed off. Yes, I think this particular advertisement was compelling during this time period… Hell, I want one today. But what do you think the conversation was like within the Sedan between the occupants? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (So my dear, may I have one of your cigarettes per chance?), and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very interesting image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1963 Buick LeSabre Estate Wagon Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. Looking at the calendar (and a quick peek outside) it looks like we are currently in the middle of another winter season, and the image of a Buick Wagon illustrates all the fun you can have this time of year, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time we had an image of a Malaise Era Mustang II King Cobra, and the participation rate was just OK, so let’s see if we can kick it up a notch, as this post is running a bit later than usual because of the Detroit Show Coverage. Our runner up comment came from one of our regulars, GTXcellent, and it was most excellent indeed: “Tails, I win – ha ha, you have to pilot this horrible, under-powered, fiery death trap.” “Well, that’s fine. But next time, I get to fly the autogyro.” That was very clever GTXcellent, but there was one caption that our readers like a little bit better…

And the winning comment was from another one of our regular readers, onrails. His caption was similar to GTXcellent’s caption (in fact, most of the other favorites were expressing nearly the same observations), but it went like this: “Listen – we BOTH had the same pile of leftover parts to work from, I just decided to make something that was attractive, fun, and useful. You’ll just have to take the car that you made.” This was also very clever onrails, so good job on winning this week’s Caption Contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I’ve raided an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and decided upon this image for the 1963 Buick LeSabre Estate Wagon. This was the time before GM used faux wood paneling for their wagons (that changed for the 1966 model year in which Chevrolet introduced the Caprice Wagon with Woodgrain to compete with the Ford Country Squire) and is actually a fine looking vehicle. One has to question why the Buick is on the ski slope in the first place. Is that handsome shi instructor giving private lessons to the trio of beautiful women, or is he trying to get a date with at least one of them? Is this really the way to sell a top rung luxury wagon in the 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (So, who needs a private ski lesson back at the lodge?), and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very interesting image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1978 Ford Mustang II King Cobra Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. There was a time in which the Mustang shared components with the Ford Pinto, and the featured car was no different, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time we had an image of a Rambler Rouge in a Garage, and the participation rate was a little bit better this time, so I think I’ll keep this feature for a little longer… Our runner up caption was from one of our long time readers skitter, and he was still wrapped in within the Holiday Spirit: “After the kids were finally asleep, Mom, Dad, and Uncle Dave had to stay up to put all the Christmas presents together and under the tree.” That was very clever skitter, but there was one caption that our readers like a little bit better…

And the winning comment was from another one of our regular readers, Devin. His interesting caption went like this: “The end of the French New Wave movement is difficult to pin down, but many critics agree it’s marked by Godard’s poorly received film “2 or 3 Things I Fixed on Her Car.”” Ah the French New Wave Movement in Cinema, something I never really understood, which makes this caption so delightful, so good job Devin on winning this week’s Caption Contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I decided to once again use an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and I found this image for the 1978 Ford King Cobra. This would be the final year for the Ford Mustang II, as a new Fairmont Based Mustang was set to debut for the 1979 Model Year. This King Cobra was the pinnacle of wretched excess for the Mustang II, with nothing that quite fit together cohesively. It has the forward rake grill opening, with an ultra deep front air dam, the graphics were utterly pointless, the Alloy Wheels were a version of the Mustang II Ghia Lace Alloys, and it sports a 5.0L Decal on the faux hood scoop. That 5.0L V-8 was a 2bbl unit that developed a meager 122hp! So, does this racy Mustang II look the part (a part of what I don’t know…) and does this image make you want to go out and find one of these for your own? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (So, why is there a Mad Max Vibe to this image?), and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1967 Rambler Rogue V-8 Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. We are getting close to closing out 2014, so let’s celebrate with this Classic Rambler, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time we had an image of a New Yorker Fifth Avenue, and the participation rate was a little bit better this time, so it’s on to the New Year… Our runner up caption was from one of our long time readers Devin, and he channeled the 24-Hours-of-LeMons with his comment: “And dude, it was only $450! We’re sure to win the Index of Effluency in this thing!” Yes, once again, it was the track experience with bangers that was used effectively, but there was one caption that our readers like a little bit better…

And the winning comment was from another one of our regular readers, and for the second week in a row, PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ (Now with five stars!). His interesting caption went like this: “The Chrysler New Yorker, for people who have hit everything but the lottery.” This was quite funny, so good job PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ on winning this week’s Caption Contest (Again…)

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and once again I used an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and found this image for the 1967 Rambler Rogue. Did you know by 1967 you could equip the lowly Rambler American with a 343 Cubic Inch V-8 producing 280HP, on regular pump gas? This was the Hurst SC/Rambler before it was ever known that way, and what a little screamer it must have been. Looking at the ad copy, we find out that there was a mandatory option of the 4-Speed stick when you ordered the fire breathing V-8. The ad goes on to say that there were other options to consider, like a special handling package, Twin-Grip rear axle, Tachometer, Disc Brakes, and wider tires. What is really interesting is that you could get this engine in ANY Rambler American, like the Rogue Two-Door Hardtop, Plane Jane 2-Door Sedan, Roomy 4-Door Sedan, and don’t forget the Wagon… The only problem with this ad is the image itself, as the Rambler Production Line in Kenosha, Wisconsin was equally dark and depressing. With a better image, the ad would have worked better, at least that’s what I think. How about you? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (like what the hell are they doing with that Rambler in the first place…), and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1990 Chrysler New Yorker Fifth Avenue Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This is Christmas Week, and everyone is getting dressed up in their finest to go out and have a good time, which fits in nicely with this image from 1990, but we will get back to this in a moment…

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Last time we had an image of a Devilish GMC Pickup, and the participation rate was not what I expected, which means it must be the holidays… Our runner up caption was from one of our long time readers mdharrell, and was remembering a simpler time from his past… “Looking back, I remember the original pony cars, and those early Goats, and when it was normal to have a four-pot under the hood. Those were good times. Now it’s like everything’s gone to the Dev… Huh.” That was well done Professor, but there was one that our readers like a little bit better…

And the winning comment was from another one of our regular readers, PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ (Now with five stars!), and the caption went like this: “As he got out of the Diablo for the press shoot, Timmy saw he was surrounded by horses and realized what happened. It was about to get really weird for his co-workers at the Cabellero shoot.” Somehow, this caption was a bit off for me personally, but so what… Good Job PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ on winning this week’s Caption Contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and once again I used an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and found this image for the 1990 Chrysler New Yorker Fifth Avenue, which was almost the most opulent Chrysler “K” Car derivative ever. Here we have an image of the car in front of a snazzy joint called Killer Joe’s, with two equally snazzy couples admiring the car. I would almost bet that you could never get away with naming a Restaurant or Bar Killer Joe’s in today’s political climate, but this was the 90’s. The ad copy is also period correct stating that the car is “Saying Something that’s has never been said before.” So, what the hell is that suppose to mean anyway? Is this really the type of setting that would sell a vehicle like this in the first place? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption, and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1981 GMC Caballero Diablo Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. I am currently not on my own system, so if it looks a bit wonky… well, so be it. I found this image of a GMC version of the iconic El Camino, and this iteration was called the Caballero with the special Diablo trim package, so it’s time to get devilish and come up with your own classic caption…

… Continue Reading

Classic Captions – The 1960 Hillman Minx Holiday Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. It is that time of year that we are bombarded with Auto Advertising about giving or receiving a shiny new Car or Truck for the holiday, and I found this ad for a Hillman Minx that shows how long this tradition may be…

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Last time, we had a GMC Van, but not by the river, and the participation rate did increase from the week before, but I know we can do better in the coming weeks… Our runner up comment was from smalleyxb122, and his caption went like this: “Pete’s pretty hard-core. He takes his motorcycle everywhere. He takes it to work. He takes it to the store. He takes it for scenic drives up mountain roads. He’s taken it from Maine to California…twice. He’s just never learned to ride, so wherever he takes it, he takes it in his van.” This was an unusual twist which was quite clever, but our readers seem to favor one caption just a bit more…

And the winning comment was from one of our long time participants, Alff, and the caption went like this: “Be careful when you load that bike in my new van. I don’t want any gaucho marks.” This was my favorite of the week, so good job Alff on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I decided to hunt for Holiday Inspired Images from around the web, and look what I found… This is an ad image for the 1960 Hillman Minx, which is a model that was part of the Rootes Group in Great Britain. I choose it because of a mixture of artwork and photography (at lease that is what I think is photography). The image shows a young woman in proper winter attire smiling as her mate (beau, hubby, stranger…) who drives up in a snappy two-tone Hillman. This is your typical holiday imagery during the time period, complete with wrapped gifts and even a little snow in the hair of our model. Is this the perfect holiday image for the time period? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption, and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very holiday inspired image.

Photo Credit: Old Classic Car (UK)

Classic Captions – The 1977 GMC Gaucho Van Edition (for Two-Wheel Tuesday)

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. Chevrolet and GMC shared the “G” series van platforms when they were introduced in the early 70’s, but here is a GMC variant that is not well known, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had a Plymouth on the Dock of the Bay, and the participation rate was awful, though I think that might have been due to the Thanksgiving Holiday (at least here in the US), so let’s see if we can keep this feature going… Our runner up comment was from Tanshanomi, and his caption went like this: “Rust. It’s acceptable, even expected fact of life…even on the most expensive ships on the world. So don’t come crabbing to us when you see some on your $2400 Plymouth. Plymouth. For discriminating drivers who don’t expect frickin’ miracles.” He has a point, but the readers of this site seem to like one caption just a bit more…

And the winning comment was from one of our regular readers, Number_Six, and the caption went like this: “Da broad says she wants a room at the Savoy, not a ride in a Savoy, ya fahkin idiots.” This was my favorite of the week, so good job Number_Six on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and this time I went back to the archives of Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account again. This is an ad image for the 1977 GMC Gaucho Van, which is a model that I never knew existed. Fun Fact: The Mercedes-Benz Sprinter offers this same type of set-up now, only they call it the “Crew Van”. The image shows a couple of dudes with a Motorcycle (of some sort… Try and guess the make of said Motorcycle). This image is bitchin’ with the guys rocking wide legged jeans, handlebar mustache, and a can’t care attitude. So, unlike so many of the ads I use for this post, I can actually see the point of this particular image… (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like, what are they doing with that cycle anyway?), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very interesting image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1962 Plymouth Savoy Sedan Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. 1962 saw the debut of the smaller standard Plymouth and Dodge models that proved such a disaster for Chrysler, like this 1962 Plymouth Savoy 4-Door Sedan, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had a Ford Van with an interesting Delivery Driver, and the participation rate was once again not great, so I’m wondering what I have to do to spice things up a bit… Our runner up comment was from OA5599, and his caption went like this: “Ford had a better idea-a service division using attractive young women to restock the candy dishes near the cash registers of various local businesses. However, the passage of equal rights laws meant Ford had to start hiring the unattractive, the middle-aged, and males. The service died a quick death thereafter, and the windowless Ford Free Candy vans disappeared into obscurity”. This is a caption that makes you think, doesn’t it? However, you seem to like one caption just a bit more…

And the winning comment was from one of our regular readers, P161911, and the caption went like this: “”Hey buddy, wanna buy some speakers. They loaded too many on the truck.” This scam is five times more effective with an attractive female. This was very good, and my personal favorite this week, so good job P161911 on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and this time I went to the archives of Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account again. This looks like a Dealership Placard Image for the 1962 Plymouth Savoy 4-Door Sedan, and you would think that the photographer could have found a better background than a rusty ship of some sort. The image shows a lovely young lady with I would assume to be her luggage. There are four uniformed men hanging around her for some odd reason. Are they with the ship, customs, or police? I’m really not sure what is going on with this image, but it is compelling, don’t you think? It makes a great and provocative Classic Caption Image… (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (So what is the story with this woman’s luggage anyway?), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very stimulating image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

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