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Classic Captions – The 1963 Panhard 24 Coupe Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we take a look at something French, but we’ll get to that in a moment…

Classic Captions – The E10 Toyota Corolla Sprinter Edition  Hooniverse - Google Chrome 9292014 81552 PM.bmp

Last time, we had an image of a Band with a Toyota, and the participation rate was still a little off, and it makes me wonder if this feature has run its course (Let me know in the comments section), but let’s carry on anyway. Our runner up comment was from long time Hoon mdharrell, and the caption was pretty funny: “Maybe we should drive farther uphill. The guy who sold me this 2000GT said all the cool bands are really high on grass.” I think this is a first time that Professor Harrell has placed this high in our little competition, so well done. However, there was one caption that was just a bit better, and it was a Photoshop…

And the winning comment was from another longtime Hoon, HycoSpeed, and his caption was actually a photoshop that you can see on the left… This was very well done, so congratulations HycoSpeed on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again trolled for images at Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account, and this was a very interesting image. This is a 1963 Panhard 24 Coupe, with a very 60’s vibe. The female model looks very modern in a form fitting dress, evening gloves, simple pumps, and a very Jackie O hairstyle. Her Beau in the car is also very 60’s modern, but what is the car doing in a pond of some sort? I really don’t see a way for the lovely young couple to drive it out of its current location, and in all reality, why is the car there in the first place? I really like how timeless this image is, but is this really a way to sell an Obscure French Car in the 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I bet that dress is still timeless today…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very modern French image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The E10 Toyota Corolla Sprinter Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we feature a Japanese Coupe from the Sixties, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a lovely young lady in Horse Riding Attire, and the participation rate was a little off, which was somewhat surprising because I thought the image would spice things up, but what the hell do I know? Anyway, our runner up comment was from P161911, and the caption was pretty humorous: “They told me that Ferraris were great for attracting women. Forget this, I’m getting a Subaru”. It is amazing that Subaru has become the obvious choice for lesbian couples, or is that just a cliche’? However, there was one caption that received more votes…

And the winning comment was from Devin, (Yes Again…), and his caption was very short and to the point: “Annie Hall 2: Annie Hauls Ass.” This was well thought out for the image provided, so congratulations Devin on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I found this image floating around the internet of a Toyota Corolla Sprinter, and found out that it was scanned in by Matt Desmond, who owns the web site Madtype.com. It looks like this Corolla is from the 1967-68 time frame, and it shows the new Fastback Sprinter style with a trio of musicians, in a field of some sorts. It is a very good looking image, but what does it mean? Is the Corolla Groovy, Jazzy, or whatever the slang of the time was? I can understand the Drum Set, but the Electric Guitar and Amplifier is a real stretch because of the lack of a power source (Like, where do you plug in?). And is this really a way to sell a Japanese Car in the 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder what instrument she plays…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this vintage image.

Photo Credit: Matt Desmond

Classic Captions – The 1979 Ferrari 308 GTS Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we break out the riding crop and breeches to saddle an Italian Stallion, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a crowd in a deserted office park, and the participation rate was a little bit better, so let’s see if we can step it up a notch or two… we had two clear favorites this time, and our runner up comment was from GTXcellent, and he seems to be producing some great captions lately, like this one: “Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man: and another woman’s man, and a man’s man, and an old ladies’ man, and some teenager’s man, and a married couple’s man. No time to talk. How am I stayin’ aliiiiiiiiiivvvvvve? Stayin’ alive. Pimpin’ ain’t easy”. Ah Yes, the Bee Gee’s Stayin’ Alive… that sure takes me back, but there was one comment that was the run away favorite…

And the winning comment was from smalleyxb122, (Yes Again…), and his caption was very short and to the point: “Taking a Lincoln to the theater? This will not end well.” This had the groan factor as well, and I wondered why I didn’t think of it when I decided to use the image in the first place. Congratulations smalleyxb122 on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I decided to raid Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account again, and use this Ferrari 308 GTS image from 1979. There is a girl sitting on top of the hood of the Ferrari, wearing the finest in Equestrian Gear. The riding pants are called Breeches, and she sports a pair of riding boots, a riding vest, and just to break with tradition, driving gloves, and a golf cap! Now, if she was hired by a gentleman for a little, well how am I going to put this… A little play time, all she would need is a riding crop… (Oh, go look it up will you!) But to be sitting on a Ferrari in this attire, well, yes, it is appropriate… I guess this was a way of selling a Ferrari in the late 70’s, as it did nothing but generate pure lust from everyone who saw one, but is this really the correct way to sell a Sports Car? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Yes, I know sex sells…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this provocative image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we take a look at a Lincoln Town Car in a setting that is void of anything interesting…

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Last time, we had an image of a Motorcycle at a local diner, and the participation rate was nothing to write home about, but hope springs eternal… It was rather difficult to score a winner and a runner-up this week, as the top vote receivers were all commenting on the Rock Store Diner that was used as a backdrop for the Ninja Ad. As such, I am going to try and award both a winner and a runner-up from comments other than the ones dealing with this location. So, the runner-up belonged to Batshitbox (Yes, again!) and it went like this: “In a near total reversal of typical plot lines, Starfleet Chief Engineer Apex Hunter makes first contact with a planet full of male models..” Very funny, but there was one caption that was just a bit better…

And the winning comment was from mkep819, and his caption went like this: “Boy Bands & Bikes never quite caught on as big as Cars & Coffee.” To everyone who participated, this was my personal favorite this week, so congratulations mkep819 on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I reached back into the toy box that is Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and retrieved this Lincoln Continental Town Car image from 1978. The setting is very puzzling, but I will try and describe it. I think the photographer was trying to portray a group of people leaving a theater, but the actual setting looks like a business park, or an incomplete shopping center. As far as the people, they seemed to be dressed for all occasions… So let’s try and see what they are dressed for (I’ll leave that up to you). There also seems to be only one car for all of these people, and I’m sure that as big as this Lincoln is, you’re not going to get that many people inside of it. So what do you think the vision of this Photo Shoot was, and isit really a good image to use to highlight the Town Car? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder where all the other cars are…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1987 Kawasaki 250 Ninja Edition (For Two-Wheel Tuesday)

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car, truck, or in this case, the motorcycle companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week I decided to feature an advertising image for a bike after much prodding from our very own Tanshanomi, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Ford Ranchero within an Archery Range, and the participation rate was a little better, but I know our fans could step it up a notch… The runner up caption belonged to our very own Queen of the captions, $kaycog, and her caption went like this: “Peggy began to quiver in anticipation of driving her new Ranchero.” This was spot on and tied in very well with the ad image, but our readers liked one caption just a bit more…

And the winning comment was from smalleyxb122 (yes, two weeks in a row…), and his caption went like poetry: “A Ranchero’s a truck of a sort
And arch’ry’s Bill’s fav’rite sport
But I’ve heard it was said
When it came to the bed
Both of them came up too short.”
I can understand why this caption was the top vote getter this time, so congratulations smalleyxb122 on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I receied this image from Tanshanomi with the following strongly worded recommendation: “I think it’s time that Jim did a bike ad… I would like to see you combine Two Wheel Tuesday with Classic Captions, just one time…” Consider it done, but just for this one time… This is a 1987 Kawasaki 250 Ninja, and it seems to be parked with other bikes at a place called “Rock Store”. So does anyone know what the hell a Rock Store is suppose to be? Do they sell Rocks, or is it a place to buy and listen to Rock Music? This image seems to be crafted like most vehicle advertising images of this time period, with one beautiful woman at the center of the shot, surrounded by various men of different ages, mostly admiring the bike (except for that one blonde headed dude who has better looking hair than she does…) So, what does this image really have to do with selling a mid 80’s small displacement bike? And really, what the hell is everyone looking at anyway? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I’m still stuck at what a Rock Store is…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this image for Two-Wheel Tuesday.

Photo Credit: Our own Tanshanomi

Classic Captions – The 1972 Ford Ranchero Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car or truck companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we are on target with this sporting image, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a little Renault Beach Buggy in Paradise, and again the participation rate was not where I expected, so enough of the old Paradise Images, and back to the old regular shots you guys and girls seem to like… The runner up caption belonged to Alff (Nice to see you participating again…) and his caption went like this: “I’m digging the combination of flat top and high beltline”. While very funny our very own Tanshanomi added the image you see just below this paragraph, which adds to the humor… However, there was one caption that was preferred over all the others…

Classic Captions – The Renault 4CV Ghia Jolly Beachwagon Edition  Hooniverse - Google Chrome 8252014 81711 PM.bmp

And the winning comment was from smalleyxb122 (yes, again…), and his caption went like this: “Betty calls dibs on the wicker seats, while Nancy is staking her claim in the automotive fringe.” This was so spot on, so congratulations smalleyxb122 on taking the top spot with this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I thought I would once again pull an image from the prolific Alden Jewell Flickr Account. This is a 1972 Ford Ranchero parked in the middle of an Archery Range. What I am wondering about this particular image is this: What does Archery have anything to do with the Ford Rancharo. Let’s explore the setting, shall we? We have three individuals, two with bows, so I guess these are the archers. The young woman seems to have the larger bow (for whatever reason I can’t seem to understand) while the young man closest to the car/truck is kneeling. Also, what type of cargo is in the Pickup Bed anyway. Once again I have to ask is this anyway to sell a vehicle during this time period? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like what does Archery have anything to do with cars…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this image from 1972.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The Renault 4CV Ghia Jolly Beachwagon Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car or truck companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week I thought we would once again travel to a far off destination, this time with a converted Renault, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Toyota Corolla in Paradise, and the participation rate was awful, so I better up my game and find images that are more to your liking… The runner up caption belonged to I_Borgward, and it was very appropriate, but first a history lesson… Around the time of the Second World War in the Pacific, there was a cult that was started on Tanna in Vanuatu, which was also called New Hebrides during the time period. It was called the John Frum Cargo Cult, and gained traction during the 1940’s when over 300,000 American troops were stationed in New Hebrides during World War II, bringing with them an enormous amount of supplies (or “cargo”). I_Borgward used this as his contribution to the Caption Contest, and it went like this: “John Frum, he did come… oh, what a feeling!” Historically accurate, tied in with the image, and very well done, but there was one caption that was the favorite among the Hoons that frequent this site…

And the winning comment was from mkep819, and his caption went like this: “Did you know that 15 minutes can save you 15% on your car insurance?” “Everybody know that.” “Well did you know that Geckos’ taste great fried in mango sauce?” A great take on the current GEICO Ad Campaign which was quite funny, so congratulations mkep819 on taking the top spot with this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I thought I would once again pull an image from Paradise with this ad for U-Drive, Inc. This was a rent-a-car service that you could rent these types of Beach-Wagons with a Tape Player that was your invisible tour guide to the sights and sounds of the islands. The image is a wonderful depiction of the late 50’s Island Life, where the women are all in swim suits, and the weather is always picture perfect. It is very different from how you experience Hawaii (or any other Pacific Paradise) today, but would this print ad entice you to book your vacation to this part of the world? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Did you know they still make these types of buggies? Click Here!), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this image from paradise.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – A Toyota Corolla in Paradise (Papua New Guinea) Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car or truck companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week I thought we would travel to a far off destination, where some people tend to call this place Paradise, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Modified Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet, and the participation rate was better than I expected, and most of the comments were hilarious… The runner up caption came from Batshitbox (yes, again…), and it was rather unexpected (and very funny…): “They call her, “SpongeBra SquareShorts””. Good job Batshitbox, now I can’t get the theme from SpongeBob SquarePants out of my head, and while this was a great caption there was one just a bit better…

And the winning comment was from P161911 (also a regular), and his caption went like this: “Kelli was worried that Bob would figure out that she wasn’t a natural blonde and that these weren’t her natural breasts. Bob wasn’t worried that Kelli would figure out it wasn’t a real Porsche.” This was a very funny exchange P161911, so once again, congratulations on taking the top spot with this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and this time I found this image from a website called “Madang – Ples Bilong Mi”, subtitled “A Daily Journal of a Permanent Resident of Paradise”. The author was living in New Guinea for quite some time, and some of his posts reflected life on what has to be one of the most beautiful places on Planet Earth. This image was published in a old magazine called “Paradise” and his postings about the advertising images can be seen here. However, let’s concentrate on this particular image for a moment. I’m going to let the author describe it in his own words…

Now here is a very nice snap of some lovely ladies doing . . . something, I’m not sure what, maybe exchanging gifts, who knows? It’s one of those “concept” things that I’m never sure why it is supposed to make me want to buy a particular car. It seems like a lot of mumbo-jumbo to me, but then I’m not very sophisticated. When I see one of these old automobile ads I can’t help wondering how long the thing held up here in PNG. I still see some that look a lot like this one on the streets, belching white smoke and wobbling back and forth on bent rims and dead shocks. Most of them are held together only by the tenacity of rust.

So, what do you think these lovely young women are doing anyway, and is this really the proper way to advertise a car in paradise? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I still don’t know what these young women are doing anyway…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this image from paradise.

Photo Credit: Madang – Ples Bilong Mi

Classic Captions – The 1992 930-Vee Cabriolet Kit Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car or truck companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. Remember VW Beetle Kit Cars of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s? Well, here is a reminder of how fantastic these cars can be, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Plymouth in a Thoroughbred Race, and the captions were very funny for the most part… The runner up caption came from Scandinavian Flick ★, and you have to read it with a racetrack announcers voice in your head, and it will all begin to make sense: “Coming around the front stretch, we have Her Royalist Majesty, followed closely by Not My Fault, and Cunning Stunt.
Taking up the rear is Glue Pot, Without a Care, and the newcomer; Raging Fury…
What’s this? Raging Fury has pulled along side Glue Pot and has… oh my… he just PIT maneuvered Glue Pot! This is unprecedented! Now as he’s overtaking Without a Care, he… HE BRAKE CHECKED Without a Care!!
Now he’s just plowing through the competition! Literally! He’s taken out Target Practice, Eye of Bull, Rankle Wotary, Stapler Red, Know Scone, and Runs With Scissors!
I… I am at a loss for words… Raging Fury, in a stunning display of… of… I don’t even know…. has just swept the race. Folks, I need to go lie down.”
I can hear the announcers voice over a tinny speaker system, and it was quite exciting… But it wasn’t the winner this week…

And the winning comment was from a new participant to the caption contest, Lokki, and his (or her) caption went like this: “Bob, in a strange moment of doubt, began to wonder if the Salesman might have lied when he said the car was ‘Racetrack-Ready”. This was very funny Lokki, so now it’s time to sign up for an Intense Debate Account so the Hoons who frequent this site can follow your witty commentary… And once again, congratulations on taking the top spot with this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and once again I raided the treasure chest of vintage advertising images from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream. This is a brochure image for the 1992 930-Vee Kit Car, built using a Volkswagen Beetle Cabriolet. The 930 signifies that the finished product is suppose to resemble a Porsche 930 Turbo Sports Car, which if you squint, it sorts does… This (and other) VW Based Kits promise you an exciting new car using your existing Volkswagen Beetle. In fact this particular kit promises that you and a buddy can bolt on the kit and transform a dowdy Beetle into this magnificent swan over a weekend. I can guarentee you that the Blonde doesn’t come with the car at all. And if you think the Cabriolet looks awkward, you should see the standard sedan version… And does this ad really make you want to go out an purchase this kit anyway? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I’m not paying attention any more, just staring…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this wet and wild image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1959 Plymouth Fury Convertible Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car or truck companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. So what’s with the Plymouth running with a bunch of Thoroughbreds? We will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Young Couple looking into a house, and the captions were fun for the most part… The runner up caption was by Devin, and it was very funny in my opinion “It took Jim and Cathy a surprisingly long time to realize that the blinds were closed.” Short and to the point, and oh so close to winning, but there was one just slightly better.

And the winning comment was from Tanshanomi, and it was the very first one: “See? I told you it was my parents’ Skylark. But what are they doing way out h—…wait, THAT’S NOT MOM!” Yes, finding out your parents were in fact human is the stuff of comedy, so congratulations on winning the classic caption contest this time.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, this particular print as for Plymouth is very interesting. This was for the 1959 Plymouth Fury, and it seems to be taking place at a racetrack for Thoroughbreds. The ad copy is rather interesting, and goes like this: “Full of Fury, and Eager to Run! And they’re off! The sleek, sure-footed Plymouth Sport Fury steps ahead and stays ahead.” Other tag lines include “…all the “horses” you could want for modern driving.” and “You’ll learn why the smart money’s riding on Plymouth for ’59.” Well, when they think up a theme for an advertisement, they certainly stick with it. Is this really a way of selling a car during this time period? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder if the horses were spooked during this photo shoot…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this dog-gone image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

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