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Classic Captions – The 1957 Oldsmobile Super 88 Holiday Coupe Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. Daylight Savings Time is set to expire this weekend (for the parts of the country that observe it), and with time reverting backwards, Winter is that much closer, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Buick with a yard full of onlookers, and the participation rate was not that bad this week, so I guess I’ll stick around and do a few more of these features… Our runner up comment was from our own engineerd™ (and it’s been a while…), and his caption was actually my favorite of the week: “The entire neighborhood of Shady Acres was looking for Billy’s lost dog, Rex. Rex may have been found hours earlier if it weren’t for Mr. Wilson’s new Buick.” Very clever Mr. engineerd™, but there was one caption that proved to be the favorite of the readers…

And the winning comment was from relative newcomer, paulz67, and his caption had an interesting twist: “Once again, the dog earned his keep and an extra bit of kibble, after chasing and catching a Buick this year.” How about that, the two top captions zeroed in on the Dog… and it works! Well done paulz67 on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once the Flickr library of Alden Jewell’s Photostream Account. This is an ad for the 1957 Oldsmobile Super 88 Holiday Coupe with a group of people and the Oldsmobile on a Frozen Lake, with some fast looking “Ice Boats” behind the car. I’m not really sure what this scene has to do with the car, but it is exciting, so let’s bask in its imagery… You have two handsome couples at the front of the car (with one young lady actually sitting on the car), and a determined young man at the back of the car, and I really don’t know what he is currently doing… So, what is the purpose of this image… To set a sporting tone for the Oldsmobile? To state that you can go anywhere you desire in your new Super 88? That the heater that is optional in this sporty coupe is up to the task of keeping these two couples warm on the long drive home? and once again I have to ask…Is this really a way to sell this type of car during the 50’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like is winter really over the horizon?), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1976 Buick LeSabre Hardtop Sedan Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we are back in Suburbia, but we will get to that in a moment, with a rare (but needed) jump to the next page…
… Continue Reading

Classic Captions – The 1960 Mercury Park Lane Convertible Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we are litterly going to the dogs, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Chevrolet at a Golf Country Club, and once again the participation rate was disappointing, so I ask what is it going to take to get our caption rate to increase? Leave your suggestions within the comments if you have any ideas. Our runner up comment was from our own Queen of the Captions, $kaycog, and her caption was very well done: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s not room in your wife’s car for these golf clubs. She already has too much junk in the trunk.” Thank you $kaycog for the entry, but there was one more that seemed to be the favorite this time…

And the winning comment was from Beer Expert, Irishzombieman☆, and his caption had a peculiar twist: Bob bought a black Brougham because he balked at beige. Betty begged Bob to buy blue but Bob’s bowels banged and the baño beckoned before Betty could bargain, so Betty bought Bob a baby blue blazer that matched her blouse. “Bye,” said Bob as Betty’s baited breath blew by, and the brook behind babbled like Betty’s brother did when he imbibed a bottle of beer. Lazlo, the porter, faked a smile and tossed the golf sticks in the trunk, all the while thinking of phrases the rhymed with “I’m going to kill them.” While not my favorite caption this time, you guys seemed to like it, so very well done Irishzombieman☆ on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again took the liberty of using an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account. This is a vintage advertisement for a 1960 Mercury Park Lane Convertible in what could only be described as a multi-story Hotel or Motel setting. The image has it all, and by that I mean everything. Young couples looking down from the balcony to the marvelous Mercury, a cute kid staring at the pair of Great Danes, and the Driver of the mile long Convertible that doesn’t know how to park the damn thing. So, is this really a way to sell this type of car in the early 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like how do you keep these Great Danes from simply getting out of the car in the first place…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1989 Chevrolet Caprice Brougham LS Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week I decided to use a very Domestic Luxury Sedan, but can you spot the flaw in this image? (We will get to that in a moment…)

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Last time, we had an image of a French Coupe in a Pond, and while the participation rate increased, I think it was because I was complaining, but let’s move on… Our runner up comment was from long time Hoon topdeadcentre, and the caption was fairly fong, so buckle up: Out-of-Photo Hooniverse Peasant: Listen. Strange women standing in ponds distributing obscure French cars is no basis for a system of Classic Captions. Supreme automotive cleverness derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Driver: Be quiet!
Classic Captions – The 1963 Panhard 24 Coupe Edition  Hooniverse - Google Chrome 1062014 94656 PM.bmp
Hooniverse Peasant: You can’t expect to wield supreme style and panache just ’cause some watery tart threw a 1960’s Panhard at you!
Driver: [grabs Peasant] Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Hooniverse peasant: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Driver: [shakes Peasant] Shut up!
Hooniverse Peasant: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!”
I’m not sure how to take this particular caption, so I will take it as a compliment for the series (well done topdeadcentre!) However, there was one caption that was the overwhelming favorite this time…

And the winning comment was from another longtime Hoon, smalleyxb122, and his caption tied in the main character from Beverly Hills Cop (Though I don’t really get the connection, so here goes:) “Mr. Foley had been missing for days. The search team was having no luck until Greg decided to drive his car through the forest and its lush April foliage. After all, what better way to locate Axel under the spring leaves than with a Panhard?” This was one of the more confusing captions in a long time, so very well done smalleyxb122 on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again swiped an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account. This is a Dealership Placard for a 1989 Chevrolet Caprice Brougham LS Sedan in all of its 80’s glory. If this was a Dealership Image that was used to display this model, then they really screwed up. Can you spot the obvious flaw in the image? Well, when these were trimmed at ASC (American Sunroof Corporation), they added the extension to the roof, and covered it with a padded vinyl cover. However, if the trunk lid wasn’t modified, it would simply open right into the window. So, the trunk lid wouldn’t go any higher than you see in the picture, which limits the usefulness of the trunk… So, is this really a way to sell this type of car in the late 80’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder if the porter hit his head on the trunk lid…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very modern French image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1963 Panhard 24 Coupe Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we take a look at something French, but we’ll get to that in a moment…

Classic Captions – The E10 Toyota Corolla Sprinter Edition  Hooniverse - Google Chrome 9292014 81552 PM.bmp

Last time, we had an image of a Band with a Toyota, and the participation rate was still a little off, and it makes me wonder if this feature has run its course (Let me know in the comments section), but let’s carry on anyway. Our runner up comment was from long time Hoon mdharrell, and the caption was pretty funny: “Maybe we should drive farther uphill. The guy who sold me this 2000GT said all the cool bands are really high on grass.” I think this is a first time that Professor Harrell has placed this high in our little competition, so well done. However, there was one caption that was just a bit better, and it was a Photoshop…

And the winning comment was from another longtime Hoon, HycoSpeed, and his caption was actually a photoshop that you can see on the left… This was very well done, so congratulations HycoSpeed on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again trolled for images at Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account, and this was a very interesting image. This is a 1963 Panhard 24 Coupe, with a very 60’s vibe. The female model looks very modern in a form fitting dress, evening gloves, simple pumps, and a very Jackie O hairstyle. Her Beau in the car is also very 60’s modern, but what is the car doing in a pond of some sort? I really don’t see a way for the lovely young couple to drive it out of its current location, and in all reality, why is the car there in the first place? I really like how timeless this image is, but is this really a way to sell an Obscure French Car in the 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I bet that dress is still timeless today…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very modern French image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The E10 Toyota Corolla Sprinter Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we feature a Japanese Coupe from the Sixties, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a lovely young lady in Horse Riding Attire, and the participation rate was a little off, which was somewhat surprising because I thought the image would spice things up, but what the hell do I know? Anyway, our runner up comment was from P161911, and the caption was pretty humorous: “They told me that Ferraris were great for attracting women. Forget this, I’m getting a Subaru”. It is amazing that Subaru has become the obvious choice for lesbian couples, or is that just a cliche’? However, there was one caption that received more votes…

And the winning comment was from Devin, (Yes Again…), and his caption was very short and to the point: “Annie Hall 2: Annie Hauls Ass.” This was well thought out for the image provided, so congratulations Devin on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I found this image floating around the internet of a Toyota Corolla Sprinter, and found out that it was scanned in by Matt Desmond, who owns the web site Madtype.com. It looks like this Corolla is from the 1967-68 time frame, and it shows the new Fastback Sprinter style with a trio of musicians, in a field of some sorts. It is a very good looking image, but what does it mean? Is the Corolla Groovy, Jazzy, or whatever the slang of the time was? I can understand the Drum Set, but the Electric Guitar and Amplifier is a real stretch because of the lack of a power source (Like, where do you plug in?). And is this really a way to sell a Japanese Car in the 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder what instrument she plays…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this vintage image.

Photo Credit: Matt Desmond

Classic Captions – The 1979 Ferrari 308 GTS Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we break out the riding crop and breeches to saddle an Italian Stallion, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a crowd in a deserted office park, and the participation rate was a little bit better, so let’s see if we can step it up a notch or two… we had two clear favorites this time, and our runner up comment was from GTXcellent, and he seems to be producing some great captions lately, like this one: “Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man: and another woman’s man, and a man’s man, and an old ladies’ man, and some teenager’s man, and a married couple’s man. No time to talk. How am I stayin’ aliiiiiiiiiivvvvvve? Stayin’ alive. Pimpin’ ain’t easy”. Ah Yes, the Bee Gee’s Stayin’ Alive… that sure takes me back, but there was one comment that was the run away favorite…

And the winning comment was from smalleyxb122, (Yes Again…), and his caption was very short and to the point: “Taking a Lincoln to the theater? This will not end well.” This had the groan factor as well, and I wondered why I didn’t think of it when I decided to use the image in the first place. Congratulations smalleyxb122 on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I decided to raid Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account again, and use this Ferrari 308 GTS image from 1979. There is a girl sitting on top of the hood of the Ferrari, wearing the finest in Equestrian Gear. The riding pants are called Breeches, and she sports a pair of riding boots, a riding vest, and just to break with tradition, driving gloves, and a golf cap! Now, if she was hired by a gentleman for a little, well how am I going to put this… A little play time, all she would need is a riding crop… (Oh, go look it up will you!) But to be sitting on a Ferrari in this attire, well, yes, it is appropriate… I guess this was a way of selling a Ferrari in the late 70’s, as it did nothing but generate pure lust from everyone who saw one, but is this really the correct way to sell a Sports Car? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Yes, I know sex sells…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this provocative image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we take a look at a Lincoln Town Car in a setting that is void of anything interesting…

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Last time, we had an image of a Motorcycle at a local diner, and the participation rate was nothing to write home about, but hope springs eternal… It was rather difficult to score a winner and a runner-up this week, as the top vote receivers were all commenting on the Rock Store Diner that was used as a backdrop for the Ninja Ad. As such, I am going to try and award both a winner and a runner-up from comments other than the ones dealing with this location. So, the runner-up belonged to Batshitbox (Yes, again!) and it went like this: “In a near total reversal of typical plot lines, Starfleet Chief Engineer Apex Hunter makes first contact with a planet full of male models..” Very funny, but there was one caption that was just a bit better…

And the winning comment was from mkep819, and his caption went like this: “Boy Bands & Bikes never quite caught on as big as Cars & Coffee.” To everyone who participated, this was my personal favorite this week, so congratulations mkep819 on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I reached back into the toy box that is Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and retrieved this Lincoln Continental Town Car image from 1978. The setting is very puzzling, but I will try and describe it. I think the photographer was trying to portray a group of people leaving a theater, but the actual setting looks like a business park, or an incomplete shopping center. As far as the people, they seemed to be dressed for all occasions… So let’s try and see what they are dressed for (I’ll leave that up to you). There also seems to be only one car for all of these people, and I’m sure that as big as this Lincoln is, you’re not going to get that many people inside of it. So what do you think the vision of this Photo Shoot was, and isit really a good image to use to highlight the Town Car? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder where all the other cars are…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1987 Kawasaki 250 Ninja Edition (For Two-Wheel Tuesday)

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car, truck, or in this case, the motorcycle companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week I decided to feature an advertising image for a bike after much prodding from our very own Tanshanomi, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Ford Ranchero within an Archery Range, and the participation rate was a little better, but I know our fans could step it up a notch… The runner up caption belonged to our very own Queen of the captions, $kaycog, and her caption went like this: “Peggy began to quiver in anticipation of driving her new Ranchero.” This was spot on and tied in very well with the ad image, but our readers liked one caption just a bit more…

And the winning comment was from smalleyxb122 (yes, two weeks in a row…), and his caption went like poetry: “A Ranchero’s a truck of a sort
And arch’ry’s Bill’s fav’rite sport
But I’ve heard it was said
When it came to the bed
Both of them came up too short.”
I can understand why this caption was the top vote getter this time, so congratulations smalleyxb122 on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I receied this image from Tanshanomi with the following strongly worded recommendation: “I think it’s time that Jim did a bike ad… I would like to see you combine Two Wheel Tuesday with Classic Captions, just one time…” Consider it done, but just for this one time… This is a 1987 Kawasaki 250 Ninja, and it seems to be parked with other bikes at a place called “Rock Store”. So does anyone know what the hell a Rock Store is suppose to be? Do they sell Rocks, or is it a place to buy and listen to Rock Music? This image seems to be crafted like most vehicle advertising images of this time period, with one beautiful woman at the center of the shot, surrounded by various men of different ages, mostly admiring the bike (except for that one blonde headed dude who has better looking hair than she does…) So, what does this image really have to do with selling a mid 80’s small displacement bike? And really, what the hell is everyone looking at anyway? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I’m still stuck at what a Rock Store is…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this image for Two-Wheel Tuesday.

Photo Credit: Our own Tanshanomi

Classic Captions – The 1972 Ford Ranchero Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car or truck companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we are on target with this sporting image, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a little Renault Beach Buggy in Paradise, and again the participation rate was not where I expected, so enough of the old Paradise Images, and back to the old regular shots you guys and girls seem to like… The runner up caption belonged to Alff (Nice to see you participating again…) and his caption went like this: “I’m digging the combination of flat top and high beltline”. While very funny our very own Tanshanomi added the image you see just below this paragraph, which adds to the humor… However, there was one caption that was preferred over all the others…

Classic Captions – The Renault 4CV Ghia Jolly Beachwagon Edition  Hooniverse - Google Chrome 8252014 81711 PM.bmp

And the winning comment was from smalleyxb122 (yes, again…), and his caption went like this: “Betty calls dibs on the wicker seats, while Nancy is staking her claim in the automotive fringe.” This was so spot on, so congratulations smalleyxb122 on taking the top spot with this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I thought I would once again pull an image from the prolific Alden Jewell Flickr Account. This is a 1972 Ford Ranchero parked in the middle of an Archery Range. What I am wondering about this particular image is this: What does Archery have anything to do with the Ford Rancharo. Let’s explore the setting, shall we? We have three individuals, two with bows, so I guess these are the archers. The young woman seems to have the larger bow (for whatever reason I can’t seem to understand) while the young man closest to the car/truck is kneeling. Also, what type of cargo is in the Pickup Bed anyway. Once again I have to ask is this anyway to sell a vehicle during this time period? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like what does Archery have anything to do with cars…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this image from 1972.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

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