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Classic Captions – The 1962 Plymouth Savoy Sedan Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. 1962 saw the debut of the smaller standard Plymouth and Dodge models that proved such a disaster for Chrysler, like this 1962 Plymouth Savoy 4-Door Sedan, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had a Ford Van with an interesting Delivery Driver, and the participation rate was once again not great, so I’m wondering what I have to do to spice things up a bit… Our runner up comment was from OA5599, and his caption went like this: “Ford had a better idea-a service division using attractive young women to restock the candy dishes near the cash registers of various local businesses. However, the passage of equal rights laws meant Ford had to start hiring the unattractive, the middle-aged, and males. The service died a quick death thereafter, and the windowless Ford Free Candy vans disappeared into obscurity”. This is a caption that makes you think, doesn’t it? However, you seem to like one caption just a bit more…

And the winning comment was from one of our regular readers, P161911, and the caption went like this: “”Hey buddy, wanna buy some speakers. They loaded too many on the truck.” This scam is five times more effective with an attractive female. This was very good, and my personal favorite this week, so good job P161911 on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and this time I went to the archives of Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account again. This looks like a Dealership Placard Image for the 1962 Plymouth Savoy 4-Door Sedan, and you would think that the photographer could have found a better background than a rusty ship of some sort. The image shows a lovely young lady with I would assume to be her luggage. There are four uniformed men hanging around her for some odd reason. Are they with the ship, customs, or police? I’m really not sure what is going on with this image, but it is compelling, don’t you think? It makes a great and provocative Classic Caption Image… (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (So what is the story with this woman’s luggage anyway?), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very stimulating image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1971 Ford Econoline Van Edition

1971 Ford Econoline-01

Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. The Commercial Van Market has gone through a seismic shift with almost all of the vans offered completely redesigned, and the last time that happened was the late 60’s and early 70’s with the Econoline leading the way

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Last time, we had a Pinto Wagon in Drag, and the participation rate was not great, but it wasn’t bad either, so I guess I’ll continue to shake things up a bit… Our runner up comment was from dwbf11, and his caption went like this: “Who knew that a Bobcat would be so effective at hauling Cougar tail?”. That was very clever and a great observation, but there was one caption that our readers liked better…

And the winning comment was from one of our regular contributors, Tanshanomi, and it was actually the image you see below, and his caption that was very appropriate: “…or Mercury Bobcat photo” This was a terrific caption entry Tanshanomi, so good job on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

Classic Captions – The 1975 Mercury Bobcat Wagon Edition  Hooniverse - Google Chrome 11182014 100031 AM.bmp

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and this time I went to the archives of the Old Car Manual Project. This is a Brochure Cover Image for the 1971 Ford Econoline Van. The image shows a lovely young lady with a two-wheel trolly carrying a Philco something-or-other. Remember, at this time, Philco used to be a Ford Brand for Stereo Hi-Fi’s, Color Television Sets, and major appliances, so it ties in nicely with the Ford Brand. I’m really not sure how her pose is suppose to say anything about the rugged nature of the Econoline, but so what. It makes a great cover image for a brochure. (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like I really wonder what is in that Philco Box…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image.

Photo Credit: The Old Car Manual Project

Classic Captions – The 1975 Mercury Bobcat Wagon Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. There was once a time in which the Mercury Brand offered almost everything the sister Ford dealer offered, except they were trimmed with a little more chrome to help distinguish the models… Like this Ford Pinto in Drag, the Mercury Bobcat

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Last time, we had an image of French Simca trapped in the Old West, and the participation rate was awful once again (I guess you really don’t like anything from the 1950’s), so I guess I’ll have to shake things up a bit… Our runner up comment was from our own $kaycog (Yet again), and her caption was very clever: “You know, Tex, that’s not just any run-of-the-mill car. It’s a new run-by-the-mill Simca”. Always the Bridesmaid, but one day she will ring the bell…

And the winning comment was from one of our regular readers, Batshitbox, and his caption was very appropriate: “Well, in all fairness, we did tell him to get out of Dodge.” This was a very well played Batshitbox, so good job on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again raided the library of Alden Jewell’s Photostream Account. This is a Dealership Placard for the 1975 Mercury Bobcat Wagon which is really a Fancier Ford Pinto. This was a typical setting for these types of images that were on display at the dealership. It shows a young couple at some kind of a shop standing next to their new Pride and Joy in motoring, only to be disappointed within a few months. There are shopping bags in the cargo area, but I really have to wonder what they contain, as the rear of the wagon sits lower than the front. Do you really think this type of imagery really sells cars? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like this wagon seems to be overloaded already…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this highly unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1957 Simca Vedette V-8 Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. Did you know that Ford once had an assembly line in Poissy (France), and that our featured car is essentially a renamed Ford? We will get to this fascinating bit of history in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of an Oldsmobile on a Frozen Lake, and the participation rate was not what I expected, and I wonder why that is… Our runner up comment was from our own $kaycog (Yet again), and her caption was actually quite humorous: “You guys are going to be in trouble. This is your father’s Oldsmobile. Help me push!” Love the way $kaycog tied in with the old Oldsmobile theme, but there was one overwhelming favorite this week…

And the winning comment was from one of our regular readers, PotbellyJoe ©, and his caption had an interesting twist: “Marketing was pretty pissed when the intern returned from the shoot in Charlevoix. Somehow, “Make it look like A Nice car.” was improperly relayed due to poor handwriting.” This was a very Punny play on words, so well done PotbellyJoe © on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have sampled from the Flickr library of Alden Jewell’s Photostream Account. This is an ad for the 1957 Simca Vedette Sedan that seems to be trapped in a recreation of an “Old West” town. So, what would be the meaning of having a French Full Sized, V-8 equipped sedan parked next to a horse drawn wagon be? And why is there a couple of rugged looking dudes sitting on the wagon next to the car anyway? What is this image suppose to represent? Is this just some kind of random image published just for the American (or Australian) Market? And is this really a way to sell a French Sedan during the 50’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (A French Car in the Old West… Hmmmm…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this highly unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1957 Oldsmobile Super 88 Holiday Coupe Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. Daylight Savings Time is set to expire this weekend (for the parts of the country that observe it), and with time reverting backwards, Winter is that much closer, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Buick with a yard full of onlookers, and the participation rate was not that bad this week, so I guess I’ll stick around and do a few more of these features… Our runner up comment was from our own engineerd™ (and it’s been a while…), and his caption was actually my favorite of the week: “The entire neighborhood of Shady Acres was looking for Billy’s lost dog, Rex. Rex may have been found hours earlier if it weren’t for Mr. Wilson’s new Buick.” Very clever Mr. engineerd™, but there was one caption that proved to be the favorite of the readers…

And the winning comment was from relative newcomer, paulz67, and his caption had an interesting twist: “Once again, the dog earned his keep and an extra bit of kibble, after chasing and catching a Buick this year.” How about that, the two top captions zeroed in on the Dog… and it works! Well done paulz67 on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once the Flickr library of Alden Jewell’s Photostream Account. This is an ad for the 1957 Oldsmobile Super 88 Holiday Coupe with a group of people and the Oldsmobile on a Frozen Lake, with some fast looking “Ice Boats” behind the car. I’m not really sure what this scene has to do with the car, but it is exciting, so let’s bask in its imagery… You have two handsome couples at the front of the car (with one young lady actually sitting on the car), and a determined young man at the back of the car, and I really don’t know what he is currently doing… So, what is the purpose of this image… To set a sporting tone for the Oldsmobile? To state that you can go anywhere you desire in your new Super 88? That the heater that is optional in this sporty coupe is up to the task of keeping these two couples warm on the long drive home? and once again I have to ask…Is this really a way to sell this type of car during the 50’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like is winter really over the horizon?), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1976 Buick LeSabre Hardtop Sedan Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we are back in Suburbia, but we will get to that in a moment, with a rare (but needed) jump to the next page…
… Continue Reading

Classic Captions – The 1960 Mercury Park Lane Convertible Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we are litterly going to the dogs, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a Chevrolet at a Golf Country Club, and once again the participation rate was disappointing, so I ask what is it going to take to get our caption rate to increase? Leave your suggestions within the comments if you have any ideas. Our runner up comment was from our own Queen of the Captions, $kaycog, and her caption was very well done: “I’m sorry, sir, but there’s not room in your wife’s car for these golf clubs. She already has too much junk in the trunk.” Thank you $kaycog for the entry, but there was one more that seemed to be the favorite this time…

And the winning comment was from Beer Expert, Irishzombieman☆, and his caption had a peculiar twist: Bob bought a black Brougham because he balked at beige. Betty begged Bob to buy blue but Bob’s bowels banged and the baño beckoned before Betty could bargain, so Betty bought Bob a baby blue blazer that matched her blouse. “Bye,” said Bob as Betty’s baited breath blew by, and the brook behind babbled like Betty’s brother did when he imbibed a bottle of beer. Lazlo, the porter, faked a smile and tossed the golf sticks in the trunk, all the while thinking of phrases the rhymed with “I’m going to kill them.” While not my favorite caption this time, you guys seemed to like it, so very well done Irishzombieman☆ on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again took the liberty of using an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account. This is a vintage advertisement for a 1960 Mercury Park Lane Convertible in what could only be described as a multi-story Hotel or Motel setting. The image has it all, and by that I mean everything. Young couples looking down from the balcony to the marvelous Mercury, a cute kid staring at the pair of Great Danes, and the Driver of the mile long Convertible that doesn’t know how to park the damn thing. So, is this really a way to sell this type of car in the early 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (Like how do you keep these Great Danes from simply getting out of the car in the first place…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1989 Chevrolet Caprice Brougham LS Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week I decided to use a very Domestic Luxury Sedan, but can you spot the flaw in this image? (We will get to that in a moment…)

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Last time, we had an image of a French Coupe in a Pond, and while the participation rate increased, I think it was because I was complaining, but let’s move on… Our runner up comment was from long time Hoon topdeadcentre, and the caption was fairly fong, so buckle up: Out-of-Photo Hooniverse Peasant: Listen. Strange women standing in ponds distributing obscure French cars is no basis for a system of Classic Captions. Supreme automotive cleverness derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Driver: Be quiet!
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Hooniverse Peasant: You can’t expect to wield supreme style and panache just ’cause some watery tart threw a 1960’s Panhard at you!
Driver: [grabs Peasant] Shut up! Will you shut up?!
Hooniverse peasant: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Driver: [shakes Peasant] Shut up!
Hooniverse Peasant: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!”
I’m not sure how to take this particular caption, so I will take it as a compliment for the series (well done topdeadcentre!) However, there was one caption that was the overwhelming favorite this time…

And the winning comment was from another longtime Hoon, smalleyxb122, and his caption tied in the main character from Beverly Hills Cop (Though I don’t really get the connection, so here goes:) “Mr. Foley had been missing for days. The search team was having no luck until Greg decided to drive his car through the forest and its lush April foliage. After all, what better way to locate Axel under the spring leaves than with a Panhard?” This was one of the more confusing captions in a long time, so very well done smalleyxb122 on winning this weeks classic caption contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again swiped an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account. This is a Dealership Placard for a 1989 Chevrolet Caprice Brougham LS Sedan in all of its 80’s glory. If this was a Dealership Image that was used to display this model, then they really screwed up. Can you spot the obvious flaw in the image? Well, when these were trimmed at ASC (American Sunroof Corporation), they added the extension to the roof, and covered it with a padded vinyl cover. However, if the trunk lid wasn’t modified, it would simply open right into the window. So, the trunk lid wouldn’t go any higher than you see in the picture, which limits the usefulness of the trunk… So, is this really a way to sell this type of car in the late 80’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder if the porter hit his head on the trunk lid…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very modern French image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The 1963 Panhard 24 Coupe Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we take a look at something French, but we’ll get to that in a moment…

Classic Captions – The E10 Toyota Corolla Sprinter Edition  Hooniverse - Google Chrome 9292014 81552 PM.bmp

Last time, we had an image of a Band with a Toyota, and the participation rate was still a little off, and it makes me wonder if this feature has run its course (Let me know in the comments section), but let’s carry on anyway. Our runner up comment was from long time Hoon mdharrell, and the caption was pretty funny: “Maybe we should drive farther uphill. The guy who sold me this 2000GT said all the cool bands are really high on grass.” I think this is a first time that Professor Harrell has placed this high in our little competition, so well done. However, there was one caption that was just a bit better, and it was a Photoshop…

And the winning comment was from another longtime Hoon, HycoSpeed, and his caption was actually a photoshop that you can see on the left… This was very well done, so congratulations HycoSpeed on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I have once again trolled for images at Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream Account, and this was a very interesting image. This is a 1963 Panhard 24 Coupe, with a very 60’s vibe. The female model looks very modern in a form fitting dress, evening gloves, simple pumps, and a very Jackie O hairstyle. Her Beau in the car is also very 60’s modern, but what is the car doing in a pond of some sort? I really don’t see a way for the lovely young couple to drive it out of its current location, and in all reality, why is the car there in the first place? I really like how timeless this image is, but is this really a way to sell an Obscure French Car in the 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I bet that dress is still timeless today…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very modern French image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell Flickr Photostream

Classic Captions – The E10 Toyota Corolla Sprinter Edition

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week we feature a Japanese Coupe from the Sixties, but we will get to that in a moment…

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Last time, we had an image of a lovely young lady in Horse Riding Attire, and the participation rate was a little off, which was somewhat surprising because I thought the image would spice things up, but what the hell do I know? Anyway, our runner up comment was from P161911, and the caption was pretty humorous: “They told me that Ferraris were great for attracting women. Forget this, I’m getting a Subaru”. It is amazing that Subaru has become the obvious choice for lesbian couples, or is that just a cliche’? However, there was one caption that received more votes…

And the winning comment was from Devin, (Yes Again…), and his caption was very short and to the point: “Annie Hall 2: Annie Hauls Ass.” This was well thought out for the image provided, so congratulations Devin on winning this edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest…

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I found this image floating around the internet of a Toyota Corolla Sprinter, and found out that it was scanned in by Matt Desmond, who owns the web site Madtype.com. It looks like this Corolla is from the 1967-68 time frame, and it shows the new Fastback Sprinter style with a trio of musicians, in a field of some sorts. It is a very good looking image, but what does it mean? Is the Corolla Groovy, Jazzy, or whatever the slang of the time was? I can understand the Drum Set, but the Electric Guitar and Amplifier is a real stretch because of the lack of a power source (Like, where do you plug in?). And is this really a way to sell a Japanese Car in the 60’s? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (I wonder what instrument she plays…), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this vintage image.

Photo Credit: Matt Desmond

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